Hamilton Central High School - Hamiltonian Yearbook (Hamilton, NY)

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THE H A M OWN Hi ive 25221 i Yam' ibtiok Lf fiamiilioni High School You Senior Girls, who are about to go out into the world on your own,- REMEMBER- That love and poker are two games in which it pays to look innocent and -just a little stupid. Nowadays, a husband is like any other household pet. just as you have become attached to him, he either gets lost or stolen or run over, or you have to shoot him or something. That husbands are like Hperiodf' furniture. The modern ones are mostly too loud and jazzy to be charmingg and the old-fashioned ones are too upright and severe to be comfortable around the house. That the girl who sits at home and waits for Fate to send her an Ideal Husband will find the deliveries awfully slow, these busy days. That men are things women have to marry. A man is composed of his digestion, his conscience and his vanity. His digestion often goes dead , his conscience constantly has to be cranked up--but his vanity is always self- starting. That getting a husband, these days, is a feat which requires the tact ofa statesman, the technique of a prima donna, the genious of Einstein, and the self-control of President Coolidge. That if you Hatter a man, he is frightened to death, and thinks you have matrimonial designs, and if you don't, he is bored to death and thinks that you lack intelligence. That ifyou listen to their conversation, you've got to learn to like biography -and if you don't you may as well learn to like solitaire. That, above all-even while we are marking timeu, Time is going right on marking us. A AND THAT, ll good line if the rc'ientMf maxculine device for .YIlj'l'17g a whole lot-and promifing nothing. D l F '28 . 1. ., . PLAYING FAVORITES A Scotchman, not feeling so Well as usual, called on his family doctor, who looked him over and gave him some pills to be taken at bedtime. Whiskey was also prescribed for his stomach's sake, a small glass to be taken after each meal. Four days later Sandy again called on the doctor, stating he was feeling no better. , Have you taken the medicine exactly as I instructed? the doctor in- quired. Well, doctorf, replied the patient, I may be a wee bit behind wi' the pills, but I'm six weeks ahead Wi' tha Whuskyf' WHEN FREAK MEETS FREAK The only time a horse gets scared nowadays is when he meets another horse. Page Number Tzvcniy seven

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1' II l M IL TON I fl N IQZQ' Year hook of llamillon llzqlz School A7 Day in ffze Rome Garden School fl BED TIME STORY KI In Thornton W. Burgess - HE Great Round Sun rose smiling over the bald crest of Bonney Hill and peeped down with great warm grins upon the little wood folk's plot called the Rose Garden School. The Gentle Breezes softly shook the petals and leaflets of the school house, which was nothing more than an immense rose bush hung with great, beautiful, red, sweet roses, and bordered all around with Martha Snap Dragon and all her little posey friends. The spring had come, and with it on nice clear days came the sessions of the Rose Garden School, which all the little country folk hasten to attend. It was almost ten o'clock and the teachers of the school were impatiently waiting for scholars to arrive. Helen Fuzzitop and several teachers were talking of their little students. Well, remarked Helen. l d0n't see why that little Red Squirrel can't behave himself at least once in a while. Helen Hedgehog spoke up sharply. lVly, l d0n't see how you stand him, but you should see my little Bird Boy, he is the brightest little boy in all my classes. Now really, Helen, you should see my Doris Songsparrow draw and paint, and l do believe that l have the smartest group of little workers in all the wide world, said Miss lnez Bussibody. Pooh! Pooh! chipped in Hanna Beaver, you all may have your bright scholars but you have nothing to come up to my johnny VVoodchuck, be really is the best little child that there ever was, and that Tony Nosiebug, l do think he is the cutest thing, and the way he can talk to the girls is perfectly marvelous. Pstl Pstl spat out Ruth Pussy Cat. VVhat ever are we going to do with George lVlushroom? He springs up every year and yet he never seems to get anywhere, and that little Andrew Smartweed, he seems to know it all, but when it comes to school, l do believe that he doesn't. Goodness knows what would have been the last of such talking. but just then the Young Pup came barking up and yipped,'Phoebe Bluejay is already to hold chapel and she does wish you would sing with the rest. Chapel was held that morning under the shade ofa large Red Rose, that nodded his head as he joined in on the choruses. Little Larry Neverready played the piano. Miss Phoebe Bluejay led the singing with a little twig. and from the gathered pupils, weeds, grasses, Howers, birds, turtles, and animals there came a great and greatly discorded roll of noise. Well back in the Page N umbe r Tu eniv fwo

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Ili ll Al M IL T0 Nl fl N 1927 Year hook lj llamillon High School CHICKEN 'lihe minister and his bride were preparing to eat a bite at a luncheonette. 'I'hey were busily engaged with the bill olifare when the waitress, who was a much calcimined and peroxided young miss, came up to take their order. Suddenly the young minister looked up from the bill of fare, smiled sweetly at the waitress, and said: How is the chicken today? Pretty good, kid, she retorted. How are you? Commercial 'I'raveler fto proprietor he found playing checkers with friend in back ol' storel: Do you know there are two customers in the store? 'l'lu- dealer kept right on playing and whisperedf 'l'hat's all right. Keep quiet and they'll go away again. IVlr. Rose: Lawrence, what is velocity? Lawrence bl.: Velocity is what a fellow lets go of a bee with. Harry I,.: VVell, were you satished with your bear-hunting expedition F lfdward If.: I'erl'ectly. I didn't meet a single bear. 'l'o-morrow . announced live-year-old Frank. proudly, to bis Sunday- School teacher, is my birthday. VVhy, returned she, it is mine, too. 'lihe boy's face clouded with perplexity as he said: How did you get so much bigger'n me? I hate to play against a hard loser, said the golfer. I dunno, it's better than playing against an easy winner. Caller: Is your husband a fast writer? I'oet's wife: I ast? Why, the other day I got out seven lines of washing while he was getting out four of poetry. IVIrs. Udflannagan: Come here, ye obstinate young Irish raskil. an' put yer hat on. Shure, if ye hadn't got one ye'd always be wearin' it, ye're that contrary. Aunt: And were you a very good little boy at church this morning. George? George: O, yes, auntie. A man offered me a big plate of money, and I said, 'No thank you. ' Courtesy is the quality that keeps a woman smiling when a departing guest stands at the open screen and lets flies in. 'age Nlrrzlzel' - - - TIIIPIIIQV-Plifjlll