Halifax Grammar School - Grammarian Yearbook (Halifax, Nova Scotia Canada)

Page 11 text:

5. PREP. VI IS smLLER NOW (Thank God!) Prep, VI, one of the most well-behaved classes in Halifax (hem! hem! not a chance ) has gone down to the sea (polluted as it is), to have a svlm, (Yik!) Mr, Spencer dons his swimming trunks, a pair of scruffy old things which are decaying badly (they must be at least 2,000,000,000 years old), D, Haldane the VII puts on his posh nylon suit, which looks like the bottom of his sister ' s biltini, but I suppose it is smaller than the bikini , bottom. The new bug Mulesworth II (my hated brother, the clot-faced wit), says when he dons his it will be a day for celebration ' 1 because his viens stand out like- vrhip cords, Peason and I and the boys will celebrate for another reason, for Molesworth II has MOLESWORTH (With a Bow to Ronald Searle) never had his shirt off in his life, let alone done any exercise at all. He also does not have a bathing suit, but these facts are not related. He can swim in his ■underwear. If he can svrim, which I doubt extremely, the sea would :probably shrink back to a mere thing the size of Peason ' s God-given (I guess), brain, if it ever saw Molesworth II ' s face. We now come back to the beach. The beach is bad enough with- out Molesworth II to make it 300,000 times worse. But the haidy boys and girlies of Prep, VI grin and bear it. This happiness is coaxed out of them by our wicked Maths Master, I. Spencer in a long sermon, e,g. So Molesworth II has a face like a squashed tomato. So this is only the back of Pier 39, with a bit of sand thrown aroimd. So what, eh? Look at the good side of things. We are lucky we have a beach (hem! hem!) at all, I say dispose of our worst troubles (you know who) and swim to make ourselves fit and you know how they go on, Molesworth I the gorilla of 36, winner of Pax Prize for School Field Supervision Work, etc. etc, (hem! hem!) leads the same fearless team of hoods, buccaneers, cutthroats, etc, that won the Battle of the School ' s Larder, to defeat the weak, helpless, Molesworth II (whom I despise hideously). We will all cork him with conkers v;hich have been baked for 3,000 years by cads from the Kl.u Klux Klan , Now we come to the battle scene. The Klu Klux Klan conkers fly fast and thick. Molesworth II cries in despair but braveness, To every clot upon this earth death cometh soon or late, and how can man die better than facing fearful odds! He is now practically beaten and is battle-scared. He flees quickly with one loyal follower trailing behind. This loyal follower is Fo ther in gt on -Thomas, a girlie. You know h e is the one who skips around saying Hullo clouds! Hullo sky! He is a disgrace to St. Custards,