Gwynns Falls Junior High School - Gwynnonia Yearbook (Baltimore, MD)

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june 1931 GWYNNONIA 13 Wlien I had finished reading the paper, I saw Greasy Gruber Shipleyi' in person. He was practicing his singing. joel Levinson, however, appeared on the scene, and was so enraged by Greasy Gruberisn bellowing that he rushed over to 'joe Hill's Shooting Gallery , where he bought a pea shooter. With this he wounded Shipley. From latest reports, however, Greasy Gruber is doing nicely at '!Sidney Krome's Dog Hospital , where he is recuperating. At the end of the block, a Red,' mass meeting was staged under the direction of the two Bol- shevists, Sizzling Seidman and Reeling Rod- man. Come on, comrades, we shall storm the city and change everything, yells Rodman, furiously. Wait! ' commanded Sidney, don't fire until you see the white of my teethf, Gardner, who had been quiet until now, rushed over to Rodman. 'tRemember our last encounter and call your men off. Tell them the meeting is adjourned. Rodman, quivering in terror, followed Oliver's request and then returned to him. Please, Mr. Gardner, may I leavev, he asked, timidly. Bah , said the strong, silent Ollie. At first, however, I could not End Oliver. Nevertheless, I was sure he was nearby. My sup- position was justified, for Oliver Gardner himself was standing in front of a beauty parlor, talking with Anna Papa. I called him and he sadly left Anna and continued down the street with me. I left this scene very much amused at the bully- ing tactics of Oliver. We were coming to an end of our journey now. As we passed an office room in a business concern, I noticed someone with black, horn-rimmed glasses, a pencil over her ear, and a pad in her hand. Upon further scrutiny, I found her to be Eleanor Hissey, who was under disguise as a secretary. We did not leave yet, though it was growing dusky. A sad scene stayed us. Sorrel-topped George Warehime was 'standing on a soap box teaching Christmas carols to a group of unem- ployed men and women. Later a collection was taken up. The collection afterward revealed two collar buttons, a handkerchief, one cent, and a plugged nickel. I had enough. Another day of these activities and I might find Ford or Rockefeller selling ap- ples with an unemployed sign on his cap. I walked into the room where Father Time dwelt. He spoke almost immediately, Your return has been planned. You will set off right away. Everything you have seen and heard is to be a secret. You are not to say one word concerning this trip. I know you won't and that is the main reason I chose you. I trust you have enjoyed yourself. Goodbyf' On my way back to 1930, I felt no vagueness as before. All was just hazy. Suddenly I found myself back in the old attic, my starting place. At Hrst all seemed strange, but at length I regained my composure. Many nights after this have I spent in the attic wondering, brooding. Had all been a dream, or had I really experi- enced everything. I often wondered. CLASS SONG OF 1931 By NORINE OsBoN, 9A1 Our symbol of knowledge, the flag waving high, Will tell each defender that battle is nigh, A war against Ignorance, Folly, and Crime, 'Gainst the dreamers of dreams, the wasters of The knights are our students, the castle our school, Our banner the ideals we hold as our rule, And the Red and Gray pennants that stream from our spears time. Will lead us to vict-ries in on-coming years. C1-ioaus The trumpets of learning A triumph are calling, In the battle for knowledge we wage in our youth. The heralds are singing Defeat for the idlers, The fight is done, the victory's won, for fearless Truth.

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12 GWYNNONIA june 1931 !'Wirh such good men as Vudy Rallee and Bill Osborne in our ranks, it is well enough, but why should us he-men of the yodeling world be thrust aside in our attempt to gain honors, by these Hne- singing street cleaners. Thus spake Gordon. A great ovation greeted the finish of these Words, And, continued the lividly enraged Poore boy, the leader of this group is none other than the handsome, young, erstwhile world-famous ten- or, Francis Buckingham! A murmur went through the crowd. Enraged cries and confused exclamations lingered. Then Sidney Berlin sprang up from his seat and, given permission to speak, said: Bucking- ham, dashing as he is, not only is a rebel to you, fellow crooners, but he has the iron nerve to teach Herbert Newberry how to play basketball. From the latest reports I have received, he plans to open a gymnasium to strengthen young men, and then send them to his crooning school, which he also intends to establish. That was ,enough for me. As I left, the angry shouts rang the air, and almost broke my ear- drums. I decided I had had enough for one day. My hrst day seemed over, so we headed for Father Time's lodgings. When we arrived, I explained Gardner's presence to him. I-Ie nodded approvingly and handed me a scroll. I-Ie then said, When you open this scroll, you will find the number of the room in which you and your friend shall spend the night. YOu will also find a key. Put the key in your right pocket and your mechanism will have effect on your friend, if that should be necessary. Good-night. Shade of Athelstane, whispered Ollie, t'I'm hungry! Oh, as for food, said Father Time, who must have overheard, I will send some up. After all directions had been carried out and the food was eaten, I gave a long-drawn out sigh. What would the morrow bring? I wondered. We arose early and immediately started a tour through the industrial center of the city. A small, bright-looking factory attracted our attention. In the doorway we found Abraham Slamovitz. Upon seeing Gardner, he rushed over to him joyously and began pounding him about familiarly, as had been his custom in the past. But, as we all know, Gardner surprised Abraham with a terrific upper-cut to the big toe in his left foot. Slamovitz went down for the count of 0. When he rose, I thought I should never see a face so full of amazement, incredulity, and remorse. Of course, he wanted an explana- tion. After I told him all, he came over to Gardner and offered his hand. Gardner, hard as ever, eyed him with contempt and said in a hard tone, 'iBahl Slamovitz, shrugging his shoulders, asked me to come in his factory and watch his men at work. I told him I was in a hurry and asked him to expain the nature of his works. I found that he was a rich man, having made millions on his world-famous invention, the New Special Cribbing Machine. He imitated the pro- cess he once used in the classroom. After racking his brain for many years, he invented a machine, which strange to say, no teacher could detect. Thus he is making a fortune of money, selling the Cribbing Machine to hundreds of eager students. At the City Hall, we found Paul Geisenkotter pleading with the mayor, Jesse Hann, the red- headed and red-blooded he-man of Baltimore. Paul was demanding, If you do not listen to my pleas, I shall personally establish a movement among my fellow men, six feet tall and up, to force the city to make the ceilings of public buildings and li- braries higher, so that I can increase'my civic learning and reading capacity. Reallyn. Patil stamped his feet in anger, and the floors caved in. Dismiss this uncouth, impertinent young scamp from these premises, said I-Iann, addressing his secretary, Edward Ay. When he received no response, his I-Ionor, the mayor, investigated the cause. He found Ay asleep over his private desk, with a copy of Gwynns Falls Ripples in his hand. After I-Iann had awakened him, Ay blinked his eyes uncer- tainly, and murmured, 'QWi11 the meeting come to order?,' After this humorous incident, I purchased a paper. Ir was a good paper. Doris Oberseider was the editor and Lawrence I-larding was the reportorial genius of the paper. I was busily reading the paper when I saw Frank Angier's name at the bottom of the page. Following it up, I learned that he had distinguished himself as a window washer by turning his cap inside out and smoking a cigar from the wrong end. I also read of the fame Charles Cohen had achieved. Cohen, former star soccer player, was a chemist of high order. I-Iis great masterpiece was a fluid he had made, which when taken by miniature golf fanatics, kept them from breaking their clubs in a fit of anger because they missed the second hole. Or was it the ninth? We came to a statue of a man, which was called The Thinker-,', at the next corner. Beside this gigantic mass of sculpture was Stanley Goldstein. When I asked him why he was so quiet, he an- swered, Oh, I'rn practicing for my part in my next play, entitled 'Rip Van Winkle's Long Nap'. Again we passed on, Oliver sniffing contemptu- Ously at Goldstein's silent antics.

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14 GWYNNONIA june 1931 L ACADEMIC CIRCLES AUSTERMAN, GEORGE, 9A3g president of the Type-pieing Club of the print shop. His ambition is to be a teacher. BAILEY, VIRGINIA, 9A2g champion apple-eater. is ' keeping the unemployed busy buying stock. Club: Athletic Association, Recreation: studying lessons. BARI-IAN, RUTH, 9A1g one of the best in French and Latin. The old-fashioned child, seen but not heard. Clubs: Athletic Association and Dramatic Club. Hobby: hiking. BARTON, HENRY, 9A1g the artist of the class, with the true artistic temperament. Can't get him- self down to study. Clubs: Art Club, Dra- matic Association, Dramatic Club. Hobby: collecting stamps, autographs, and other triiies. BECKER, DOROTHY, 9A3g famous dog nurse. Ac- tive member of the Stray Cat Club , which collects alley cats. BENOWITZ, LEONARD, 9A1g rewrite, emergency man for Ripples. Bright light in algebra. Clubs: Athletic Association, Dramatic Club. Hobby: collecting his own autographs on the daily slip. BERLIN, SIDNEY, 9A1g referee for interclass games. Good athlete, but objects to his brain doing gymnastics. Clubs: Dramatic Club, Athletic Association. Hobby: working on gym ap- paratus. BEST, NOLAN, 9A3g chief ambition is to become a newspaper editor because his main hobby is making up stories. Active member of the Anti-talking Club and vice-president of the Newspaper Club. BLACK, WILLIAM, 9A1g member of the hanging committee. Blessed with brains, but cursed by a disinclination to work. Clubs: Athletic Association, Dramatic Club. Recreation: playing ball. BLooM, LEON, 9A3g star player on the heavy- weight basketball team. Also member of the Reducing Clubn. Hobby: translating Latin sections. BOGAT, FRANCES, 9A2, famous Latin homework collector. Clubs: Athletic Association, Dra- matic Club. Hobby: asking questions dirH- cult for some teachers to answer. BURGOON, NORMAN, 9A3g singer of note. Con- cert name: Master Skylark. His chief am- bition is to become a second Skylark. Hobby: singing his answers out when he is called upon. Belongs to the Glee Club. BURK, MARGARET, 9A2g mademoiselle has the real French accent, the envy of all in the French room. Clubs: Athletic Association, Dramatic Club. Secret ambition: to make her own graduating dress. CARTER, ELIZABETH, 9A1g care-taker of the Lost and Found Department. Noted for her good work in French. Clubs: Dramatic Club, Ath- letic Association. Hobby: reading. COLLINS, ANNABEL, 9A2g an ardent admirer of movie heroes. Has a standing order with all publishers of movie magazines. Noted for quiet behavior in class rooms. Club: Athletic Association. Secret ambition: to dress like Ruth Chatterton. COOPER, RUTH, 9A1g secretary and treasurer of Home Economics Club. Helps janitor to open school in the morning. Clubs: Athletic Association and Dramatic Club. Secret am- bition: to walk around school every morning until the bell rings. CURLETT, EDITH, 9A2g the fashion plate of the class. Popular with the teachers because she's co-operative. Clubs: Athletic Dramatic Club Representative. tion: to win the championship Wil ls. Association, Secret ambi- from Helen