Gwynns Falls Junior High School - Gwynnonia Yearbook (Baltimore, MD)

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june 1931 GWYNNONIA 9 .g..g........g..g.....g..q..g-..g..g..g..g..g...........g..g.....g.4.-g..g..g.....g..g..g.....g..g... SOCIETY CHIT-CHAT Party in Honor of Season's Most Popular Debutante The event of this week was a party at the home of Admiral Donald Jett, on the Severn River. Admiral Jett is a well known antique collector. The first guest to arrive was Miss Grace Schillace who had just returned from a concert tour. She has studied abroad under the instruction of the famous singer Francesco Drape. Soon after, Mr. Donald Wolff was announced. Mr. Wolff was recently awarded the prize, a 1917 model Ford, for being the best dressed man-about-town. They ar- rived in his new vehicle at the terrific speed of twenty miles an hour. The butler, Paul Geissenkotter fchosen because of the dignified way in which he announced the arrival of the guestsj, was quite surprised at one time when he opened the door, for confronting him was a former school chum, now Sir Aaron Epstein. Sir Aaron was recently knighted because of his deeds of valor. The remainder of the guests soon arrived. Miss Virginia Bailey, who has been much entertained since her debut, was accompanied by Mr. McDon- old Tracey. Mr. Tracey, you will recall, has just returned from a hunting expedition in South Africa. He has just presented Admiral jett with a crocodile tooth, which was extracted by the able Bernard S. French, Jr. Dr. French, one of our most eligible bachelors, whom we are glad to wel- come back to this country, was also present. Miss Charlotte Rossberg, who has spent the winter in Bermuda, was the next to arrive. Mr. Leonard Benowitz, a promising young lawyer who, al- though he has never yet won a case, is still opti- mistic and looking forward to a great future, was next announced, and after him, Miss Myra Belle Hurley, who recently graduated from Bryn Mawr with high honors. Monsieur joel Levenson, the great French artist, who, according to his auto- biography, studied under Michaelangelo fa por- trait of this famous man hung above his deskj, arrived from New York. He came to this coun- try for the purpose of painting the portraits of Henry Barton, transcontinental air-mail pilot. Many other celebrities arrived, the last of whom was an eminent scientist, Professor Emanuel Pu- retz. The Professor is contemplating a trip to Mars by rocket. Anyone wishing to accompany him must file application immediately. He en- tered the room with his friend, Sidney Berlin, who has just discovered a race of pygmies in Australia. Admiral Jett had provided many forms of en- tertainment for his guests. A fox hunt took place on Saturday. As Mr. McDonald Tracy could not bear the thought of killing a fox, he did not take part in this amusement. gag..q..g..g..q..g.....g..g..g..g..g..g..g..q..g..5..5-.5..g..g..q..g..q..g..g..g..g..g..g..g..g. The great Hindu magician, Randolph Kirkpat- rick, gave an exhibition of his skill in the eve- ning. An orchestra, consisting of five pieces, fur- nished music for dancing. The orchestra deserves mention for its discordant melodies. Robert Pierce, celloistg Carey Nugent, saxophonist, Rudolph Sommerwerck, harpist, Milton Ridgell, drummer, and Milton Meyers, violinist, were the members. The orchestra was led by Peter Gutsch. The solo- ist of the evening was Emma Schleuper, who, as all great artists, announced that she had reached the depths of happiness and the heights of de- spair. On Sunday, golnng, canoeing, tennis, and rid- ing were the principal entertainments of the morn- ing. The great event of the day was the depar- ture of Professor Emanuel Puretz in his rocket plane. He left for Mars in the afternoon. As the guests were departing, a sudden shout was heard. Mr. Donald Vifolff could not find his car. A general search was instituted and the auto- mobile was finally discovered in Admiral jettis antique room. The Admiral was very sorry, he said, to have to give the car up, so Mr. Wolff allowed him to keep it. A kind friend took Mr. Wolff home and the party ended happily for all. ' ANNUAL COMMENCEMENT OF ARTLESS ACADEMY Mr. Mackay last night was presented his degree in art. The degree was really for endurance in art because he is still making the clay cup he started in 1931. Mr. George Austerman was awarded his tenth one-year scholarship. He was loudly applauded when, in an acceptance speech, he claimed to have the largest pile of discarded artistic attempts in the world. The music of the evening was supplied by Mr. Kenneth Foy, who is one of the world's greatest pianists. At the conclusion of the evening Mr. Foy was presented a beautiful, battered, gold- plated cup for his playing at the commencement. The graduates marched out to the slow move- ment of Chop Sticks which Mr. Foy played with his usual ability. al: ATHLETICS WIN EUROPEAN CHAMPIONSHIP Defeat Switzerland Alps The Athletics, under the brilliant management of Nats Topel, have just beaten the strong Switz- erland Alps for the championship of Europe. The score was 8-1. The excellent pitching of Newberry made the Alps yodel. He had some excellent support in Howard Connelly, versatile third baseman. Connelly was banished from the

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8 GWYNNONIA Iunel931 .Q..g..g..g.mum-0.-M-O..mm.-p.g..q..g..g..g..g..g..4..g..g..g..g..g..q..q..g..g.....g..g..g. -0 SCHOOL ENJOYING UNUSUAL FAME Gwynns Falls Junior High School Becomes School of Unusual Accomplishments Gwynns Falls Junior High School has become a school of unusual and wide-spread fame. Its remarkable work in the last few years is due to the great ability of the class which graduated from it in 1931. Many of these former pupils have returned to the school as principal and teachers. At last affairs are being managed as pupils want them. The star reporter, Dorothy Henderson, who re- ceived her reportorial ability from her experience as a reporter of the staif of Gwynn: Falls Ripples, has visited her old school and writes for us many matters of interest. Miss Alice Kefauver, the principal, has just made a suggestion to the school board, to elimi- nate the translation of Hercules from the Latin course of study. The student body has held a special assembly in her honor and has given her a vote of thanks. Leon Bloom, the famous Latin educator, and head of the school's Latin Department, recently completed his translation of Lanford and Scott, junior Latin Reader. The book has just gone into its one thousand edition. Mr. Bloom has required every pupil to buy a copy. A few have objected to this, explaining that they have no excuse for staying up until twelve o'clock and thus are miss- ing opportunities of getting distant stations on the radio. At last a way has been found to have all pupils passing in English. Miss Mildred Maemple, who as a student displayed great patience when teach- ers lectured classes on uninteresting subjetts, has found that this new system words. Her associate teacher, Miss Eleanor Helgert, has charge. Miss Helgert has written a new course of study, elimi- nating from it all things which her experience has taught her may cause pupils to fail. Mr. Francis Elmore was elected president of the school's Parent-Teacher Association. The fac- ulty and parents agree very heartily that he is capable of executing his new oflice in an excellent manner. Professor Francis Kennedy of the French De- partment, ancl president of the No-It-All-Club has been asked to talk to the students of the I-do- no Club of the school on What My Teachers Owe to Me. From such an authority the speech should be a success. Mr. Oliver Roberts, Professor of English at Jones University, will give a talk at an assembly on Friday. His subject will be How I Learned to Talk Fluent Englishf, It is said that he can Kovertalk' his former teachers. J, 'lf N EWLY-BOUGHT SECOND-HAND AUTO IN CRASH WITH STREET CAR Late this afternoon a nice, shiny, second-hand auto came to a tragic end in a crash with a street car. The automobile, which was being driven at a terrific rate of speed by Burnell Schwartz, col- lided with the trolley at the corner of Blink and Blank streets. Gerald Schaum, motorman on the car, denied all blame and in no gentle terms de- clared that persons who tear up the streets like Mr. Schwartz had been doing, should be in jail. It looked as though there was going to be a good, old fashioned fist ight, when the trafiic policeman appeared on the scene. He gave both men a sum- mons to Judge Maempel's court. f Mr. Schwartz appeared in court in heavy mourning for the deceased rattletrap. Before the trial was over, he had everyone in the courtroom, including his honor, the Judge, and the motorman, in tears and consequently got out of paying his fine. Mr. Schaum, however, did not get off so easily. He was fined ninety-nine dollars and ninety-nine cents for wreckful driving. 4, THE GWYNNS FALLING AIRPORT DOING WELL A large crowd was gathered at the Gwynns Falling Airport Thursday afternoon, To draw such a crowd and not be giving away money, cre- ated some surprise in airplane circles. The feature of the attraction was Mr. Ambrose, who was giving his fellow aviators a demonstration. He received many exclamations on the size of his chest that surpassed by miles all of his brother fliers. Some of Mr. Ambrose's friends from way back in his school days gathered to greet him and he expressed pleasure at seeing them, especially as one repaid him the debt of a dime owed him for seventeen years. Mr. Ambrose took his friends for a ride in his new air scooter and demonstrated his new radio. To celebrate the occasion Dorsey Hild, an old schoolmate, was the announcer. The afternoon's ride passed pleasantly away with discussions about former school chums. It was learned that Harold Berman was the director of a studio of artists, all of whom had undergone together the painful process of being Ivanhoed at dear old Number 91. It was also found that Bernard Sagel was Cap- tain of the Smokehouser Basketball team and Reuben Smelkinson, the chemist, was now experi- menting with a new kind of fiammable school.

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10 GWYNNONIA June 1931 game at the end of the eighth stanza because of a fit of anger at an opposing player in which Con- nelly threw his voice at him. Eddie Meyers, re- cently purchased from the Gwynns Falls Red and Grays for the enormous sum of S100,000, played a bang-up game in left field, garnishing four hits in as many trips to the bat. Among the noted people in the audience were Abe Friedman, mayor of Cheese City, Switzer- land, and Robert Straw, who has just completed his project of connecting the peaks of the Alps by a continuous chain of bridges. Miss Audrey Woods accompanied Miss Beatrice Walsh, fam- ous sportswoman. 3 FAMOUS SWIMMER SETS NEW MARK Miss Vera Freedenberg today set a new swim- ming record by swimming the Gulf of Mexico in two hours, three minutes, and four seconds. Miss Freedenberg wished to crash into Mexican society, so she chose this way of making a name for her- self. Miss Freedenberg's record was caused by good luck. A fisherman saw her floating on her back and he mistook her for a new species of fish and fished her up. He then took her to her des- tination. . eb HIKING CLUB ANNOUNCES NEW POLICY Miss Mabel Helwig is formally announcing the hrst anniversary of her hiking club. The last hike which Miss Helwig and her club attempted was unfortunately a failure because her Ford broke down far from its destination. This was a sad set- back to Miss Helwig's policy. The policy is this: Miss Helwig and her fellow- members go in the 'flivverv until they run out of gas. Then they hike to the place that was selected for the end of the hike. The gas is so measured that the Ford stops about twenty-five yards from the hiker's destination. Q- OUR IN QUIRING REPORTER I, r Do you know that- Jeanette Morgan has at last finished a piece of work by herself. Margaret Wolf has just bought a book shop, which to her dismay contains no thrilling detec- tive or underworld magazines. Marie Hall has been editing a comic strip in the Believe-it-or-notv news called That Typing Teachetf' In the recent search for the best cook, Miss Helen Lang won the laurels. The prize was a movable kitchenette. Miss Lang, out of the kind- ness of her heart, has promised to make a gift of it to the next flag-pole sitter. Mr. Robert Clickner has opened a school for backward pupils of ninth grades. We hear they are doing so well that some of them have just fin- ished learning the alphabet. Great strides in surgery have been made by Dr. Nolan R. Best, who has just invented a mallet which will do away with the use of anesthetics. One tap on the patientls head and he is ready for the operation. Louise Harrell is a gymnasium teacher at Gwynns Falls. Louise can still get at least 28 balls in the basket a minute. Helen Sullivan is the owner of the Big Suc- cess Company, on Lafayette Avenue. Her spe- cialty among books is Ivanhoe. Miss Catherine Robinson who sailed recently for an unknown destination, was found teaching typing and bookkeeping to the Fee-jee Islanders. Miss Beatrice Walshe has worked herself up from a humble secretary to the sixth vice-president of a chewing gum concern. Because of her posi- tion, Miss Walshe gets all the gum she wants for nothing, and that's plenty. Miss Jane Wolf is the thirteenth person to un- derstand the Einstein theory. She has devoted her life to this study, and now it comes perfectly clear to her. Edith Reinhardt has turned gypsy on us and is running a tea room in San Francisco's China- town. She tells the fortunes of all the little Chi- nese. 4 - -- A ADVERTISE WITH US Uncle falzeis Kiddie Carnival For Childish Fun by a Master of It Full arrangements and particulars from Jacob Schwiegerath, Station BABY PEEK-IN AT PEKING When in China do as Chinese do. Stop in at the Peek-In Ytuaeb Eppohs Owned and conducted by Miss Alice Keim YE OLDE CLOTHES PARKVIEW AVENUE Second hand suits. Worn only once by the owner Franklin Bitz PARLEZ-VOUS FRANCAISE French taught in a thousand lesson: for more, Learn under an eminent professeur Francis Drape Q U