Gwynns Falls Junior High School - Gwynnonia Yearbook (Baltimore, MD)

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Iune1928 GWYNNONIA 45 21. What does a window frame? 22. What does a wind shield? 23. What does a hair pin? 24. How can a haircut? 25. With whom does a sugar spoon? 26. How many tons can a school hall? 27. Whom does lemonade? 28. In what jungle can you find a shoe-tree? 29. Does a cloudburst come from overeating? 30. How many tons can a shoe toe? REMARKABLE DISCOVERY BY PROF. N. M. A. ALAMADOODLE OF ENGLAND, FRANCE, SPAIN AND ITALY After an interview with Prof. Alamadoodle, it was learned that he had been at Gwynns Falls Park Junior High School and has made a number of startling discoveries. We find them so astonishing that we shall give a detailed account of a few: A strange Fountain which gushes forth X, Y, Z's instead of water. A Sahm of praise which only sings when we are quiet. A Miller who doesnot grind wheat, but book- keeping, into brainless heads. A Gardner who not only works in spring, but all winter sowing seeds of history to be crowded out by tares before City-Wide Tests. A Mitchell Field for Commercial Subjects. A Corse dinner that is delicious. The inventor of Johnson floor wax who uses it strictly on gym doors, Sister to Smith Brothers who experiments in our laboratory. A Sloan's Liniment for mathematical figures. A Shield which reflects algebraic problems upon blackboards. A Stern which follows after the Travel Club. A Carroll which sings irregular verbs in French. Peter's Chocolate Bars all those from the gym without middies. A FABLE IN NAMES I went out through MYLO door to take a walk on CHARLES STREET, where I went to see a DAWKSI-IO. Coming back by the river, I saw a FISCHER using a CURRY on a horse. I went past the NUTZEL and saw WALTER FILLING a radi- ator. I stopped at the JUSTIS of the Peace and paid a fine. I went to the hardware store and paid a SCHILL- ING for a PAYNE of glass and went to A. CLAS in music. After that I went to the TAYLOR and got my suit pressed. On my way home, I met a LOWMAN walking on the street. At last I called to my mother to WARNER against leaving her doors open at night. I-IORACE LOWMAN. HALL OF FAME BEST LOOKING Claudia Dawes, 9Al. Wesley Jones, 9Al. MOST POPULAR Dorothy Jacobs, 9A7. William Cusick, 9A8. MOST STUDIOUS Esther Stevens, 9A6. Kenneth Saunders, 9A9. BEST ORATORS Ethel Miller, 9A2. Herbert Rosenbaum, 9A2. BEST SOLOISTS Minnie Tolkin, 9Al. Harry Shavitz. 9A4. BEST ATHLETES Dorothea Stevens, 9A2. Robert Truppner, 9A9. BEST ARTISTS Frances Smith, 9Al. Donald Poole, 9Al. BEST DANCERS Dorothy Gale, 9A7. Q Roy Justis, 9A9. MOST ROMANTIC Mabel Clickner, 9Al. Ross Adkins, 9Al. CAN YOU ANSWER THIS WITH THE NAME OF AN AUTOMOBILE? l. A river in New York state? 2. The color of an old person's hair? 3. A fuel? 4. A brand of coffee. 5. A piece of land covered with oak treees? 6. An ancient fire light? We 7. A popular shade of hair? 8, One of the signers of the Declaration of Inda- pendence? . Crossing a stream without a bridge? 10. The fifth largest city in the United States? ll. A famous president of the United States? 12. A satellite of the earth? 13. To avoid? 14. The most ancient car? 15. Across the country? 16. A heavenly body? 17. A small town near Baltimore? You will find the answers to these questions on P389 47. . '9 X

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44 GWYNNONIA Iune1928 7 , I , , A LESSONBEQUEATHED TO THE FACULTY BY THE CLASS OF 1928 Teachefs Aim-To make the lesson as easy and entertaining as possible: to laugh and talk with the pupils and to make the period seem as much like an evening's entertainment as possible. Fupil's Aim--To obey and please the teacher by drawing funny pictures on the blackboards, throw- ing chalk and spitballs, and shooting rubber bands. Materials Needed-One box of rubber bands. One box of chalk. A few grains of sense. One period of forty minutes. Any number of students. Plenty of gab. A teacher to tell who wins. Plan of Procedure-Break each piece of chalk into three pieces. This makes excellent ammunition. Use rubber bands instead of the school orchestra. Sense, not being needed in this game, will be thrown away. Take period of forty minutes, studious students and the gab, mix well in five minutes of joy and serve with pleasure. THE LESSON Teacher-Name three kinds of government. Pupils-Good, bad, and none at all. Teacher-What form does Baltimore have? Pupils-Why pick on us? Teacher-Give a need of government. Pupils-To afford the American. people some- thing to complain about. Teacher--Who is America's best president? Pupils-Aw, we don't want to show favoritism. Teacher-Who shot Abe Lincoln? ' Pupils-Booth Tarkington. Teacher-How many presidents has the United States had? Pupils-One each term. 'Teacher-What does the police department do for our city? Pupils-Keeps kids from playing in the streets. Teacher-What do policemen do for our health? Pupils-Arrest speeders. Teacher-Who was the founder of public schools? Pupils-We don't know, but we'd like to catch him some night on a dark street. SUMMARY We have found that Baltimore City has such a government that if the Baltimore fire had been in Annapolis it would not have changed the price of rat traps in Czecho-Slovakia. We have also found that if there were no criminals in Baltimore, the policemen would still eat cheese sandwiches, and that if there were no World War Veterans the news- paper reporters would be cramped for sob stotries. And last but not least, we have found that if scien- tists hadn't found a cure for hiccoughs, the moon would still be made of green cheese. ASSIGNMENT Take civics book home and lay it on the table. GO OUT and play ball until supper time. After supper read the Baltimore News which is much more exciting than the Sun. When you have fin- ished that, go to the movies or a party until about eleven o'c1ock. Come home, rob the ice box, and go to bed. A GWYNNS FALLS FAIRY TALE Leaving my home at CURTIS Bay, I proceeeded to a small drug store and purchased a bottle of SLOAN'S liniment. I went past MITCHELL Field, where VAN SANT lives. I DEEM that it took me five minutes to get to the MILLER from there, where they have a beautiful FOUNTAIN. I stopped in to see the big shed that SHIELDS the automobiles from rain and accidentally lost my SCHARF. A man told me that he had LEVIE on KELLY tires. I next stopped at THOMPSON'S drug store to get a soda, and saw a man sitting in a MORRIS chair by a box of SMITH'S cough drops. I later sent to put a BOND on my GARDNER, which is MORAN he is worth. ELLIS FELL but he is WELLER now. I said, Have HOPE CAR- ROLL and don't look so GRIMM. I passed into the FORREST and then up HILL and down in the BORRRADAILLE, where KIRK threw a SPYR and ROCK at me. I said, Here is a NICHOLSON, for your trouble. The grass was CORSE in many places, but at last I arrived in' the COE-Z school room and, as it was my morning to take charge of opening exercises, I read a SAHM from the Bible. ASK ME ANOTHER 1. How far can Bull Run? 2. Where does the Horseshoe Bend? 3. What does a curtain string? 4. What does a car load? 5. Where would Mary land if shaken earthquake? 6. What can a tooth pick? 7. How can a telegraph wire? 8. Why is the ladder rung bad English? 9. What will happen if Gwynns Falls? 10. How can a horse fly? by an . Is the sea hoarse after it roars? Where does a horse' hide? 13. What can a rain drop? 14. What does a lamp shade? 15. What does an ice pick? 16. Who Rolls Royce? 17. What river did the auto Ford? 18. What has Jack Dunn? 19. What does a smoke stack? ZO. What does a monkey wrench? 1,11 1 2

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46 GWYNNONIA Iune1928 WHEN LIZA AND THE CHILDREN G0 VISITING Matilda, cum on en help me git thru ma work. I wan to go en call on Sister Watson today. Liza spoke to her daughter who was in the yard, playing with her two brothers, Alexander and Nathaniel. Yuh gwine take us along, too? asked the chil- dren. Will yuh promise to do jes' what I tells yuh? Yes'm, they all shouted. Yuh all cum in yeer: I wanna talk to you. They all came in on a run. Now I wanna tell yuh how to act. When yuh fust cum in he douse, yuh say, 'Haddu, Sister Wat- son,' en then yuh set down en don say no more. Can't we say nuthing else? asked Alexander. Not 'less she talks to yuh, or axes yuh sumpin. Suppose we wanna ax her sumpin? asked Matilda. Now, look hereg. I wan Sister Watson to think I has perlite chillun, en yuh ain't to ax her any ques- tions. Kin we ax fer a drink, or sumpin ter eat? asked Nathaniel, who was the youngest. He looked up at his mother with the smile which often got him what he wanted. No, said Liza in a loud voice. Yuh all eats en drinks all yuh wants afore we goes. Now, Alexander, yuh run to de store en git a ten-cent loaf of bread, en Matilda, help me git dis wash on de line, and Liza began to roll up her sleeves. Maw, yeer sum close yuh fergot to wash, said Matilda, looking down beside the clothes basket. What kine a close is dey? asked Liza. It's a sheet, en sum piller cases, said Matilda. Jes' rinse en thru de blue water en hang 'em up, said Liza. But, maw, dey won't be clean if yuh don wash will dey? asked Matilda. Dat's aw right, dem's Miss Nellie's close, en she nebber washed close in her life, en she won't know no difference, en I ain't got time to do no more washing today no how. Liza spoke so loudly and was working so fast that she was almost out of breath. Alexander came in with the bread, and Liza told Matilda she would finish hanging up the clothes. Take de bread en cut it in slices, en put sum lasses on it, en yuh en yer brudders set down en eat. When I gets thru' we all will git ready to go, Liza spoke to Matilda, en mind don't put dat lasses too thick on de bread. it .. 'em. About an hour later they were on their way to visit Sister Watason. When they came near the house, Liza said, 'member yer manners en act per- lite. Yes'm, they all said. When Sister Watason came to the door, she said. Well, I sure is glad to get all dis unsuspected com- pany. Cum rite ing how is yuse all? I-Iaddu, Sister Watson, said Matilda, and sat down. The boys did likewise. Liza said, We is aw right: I bin wantin' to cum en see yuh fer a week er more, but I jest didn't git de time to spare. The children sat still for about five minutes, and then Nathaniel started to wriggle in his chair. What's de matter, honey? said Sister Watson. I wanna drink, he said. I want one, too, said Alexander. Aw right, chillun. I'll git yuh sum water, and Sister Watson brought in two cups full and they gulped the contents down in a second. Matilda was so thirsty she was licking her lips with her tongue, but Liza was proud of her because she hadn't asked for a drink. 4. i. Sister Watson sat down and began talking to Liza about the revivals that would soon begin at the church. She looked over at Alexander, and saw him gulping as if he were choking on something. What's de matter, Alexander? I wants a drink, ma'am, he said. Jes go in de kitchen, en help yerself, said Sister Watson. She looked at Matilda and saw her gulping, too. Matilda, if yuh is thirsty, go in de kitchen en help yerself. Matilda started to the kitchen and Nathaniel be- gan to cough and gulp. ' Yuh all musta had fish fer dinner, said Sister Watson. No, ma'am, we had bread and lasses, said Nathaniel and went into the kitchen. Liza turned her head, for she felt so ashamed: and it was good that she did, for she didn't see the sarcastic grin on Sister Watson's face. They resumed their talk about the church and soon forgot about the children. Then all at once Nathaniel started to scream and cry. What's de matter? asked Liza. Oh, my stummick hurts: it feels like it's gunna bust open, cried Nathaniel and fell down on the floor with his hands on his stomach. I guess yuh bin drinking too much water, said Liza. No, ma'am, I musta et too much pie, he moaned. Too much pie! What yuh talking about? said Liza in a trembling voice. My lands, said Sister Watson, I baked three pies dis mornin' en yuse eat em? No ma'am, I jes et one, en Matilda en Alexander et de udder two. 'f ... is