Gwynns Falls Junior High School - Gwynnonia Yearbook (Baltimore, MD)

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44 GWYNNONIA Iune1928 7 , I , , A LESSONBEQUEATHED TO THE FACULTY BY THE CLASS OF 1928 Teachefs Aim-To make the lesson as easy and entertaining as possible: to laugh and talk with the pupils and to make the period seem as much like an evening's entertainment as possible. Fupil's Aim--To obey and please the teacher by drawing funny pictures on the blackboards, throw- ing chalk and spitballs, and shooting rubber bands. Materials Needed-One box of rubber bands. One box of chalk. A few grains of sense. One period of forty minutes. Any number of students. Plenty of gab. A teacher to tell who wins. Plan of Procedure-Break each piece of chalk into three pieces. This makes excellent ammunition. Use rubber bands instead of the school orchestra. Sense, not being needed in this game, will be thrown away. Take period of forty minutes, studious students and the gab, mix well in five minutes of joy and serve with pleasure. THE LESSON Teacher-Name three kinds of government. Pupils-Good, bad, and none at all. Teacher-What form does Baltimore have? Pupils-Why pick on us? Teacher-Give a need of government. Pupils-To afford the American. people some- thing to complain about. Teacher--Who is America's best president? Pupils-Aw, we don't want to show favoritism. Teacher-Who shot Abe Lincoln? ' Pupils-Booth Tarkington. Teacher-How many presidents has the United States had? Pupils-One each term. 'Teacher-What does the police department do for our city? Pupils-Keeps kids from playing in the streets. Teacher-What do policemen do for our health? Pupils-Arrest speeders. Teacher-Who was the founder of public schools? Pupils-We don't know, but we'd like to catch him some night on a dark street. SUMMARY We have found that Baltimore City has such a government that if the Baltimore fire had been in Annapolis it would not have changed the price of rat traps in Czecho-Slovakia. We have also found that if there were no criminals in Baltimore, the policemen would still eat cheese sandwiches, and that if there were no World War Veterans the news- paper reporters would be cramped for sob stotries. And last but not least, we have found that if scien- tists hadn't found a cure for hiccoughs, the moon would still be made of green cheese. ASSIGNMENT Take civics book home and lay it on the table. GO OUT and play ball until supper time. After supper read the Baltimore News which is much more exciting than the Sun. When you have fin- ished that, go to the movies or a party until about eleven o'c1ock. Come home, rob the ice box, and go to bed. A GWYNNS FALLS FAIRY TALE Leaving my home at CURTIS Bay, I proceeeded to a small drug store and purchased a bottle of SLOAN'S liniment. I went past MITCHELL Field, where VAN SANT lives. I DEEM that it took me five minutes to get to the MILLER from there, where they have a beautiful FOUNTAIN. I stopped in to see the big shed that SHIELDS the automobiles from rain and accidentally lost my SCHARF. A man told me that he had LEVIE on KELLY tires. I next stopped at THOMPSON'S drug store to get a soda, and saw a man sitting in a MORRIS chair by a box of SMITH'S cough drops. I later sent to put a BOND on my GARDNER, which is MORAN he is worth. ELLIS FELL but he is WELLER now. I said, Have HOPE CAR- ROLL and don't look so GRIMM. I passed into the FORREST and then up HILL and down in the BORRRADAILLE, where KIRK threw a SPYR and ROCK at me. I said, Here is a NICHOLSON, for your trouble. The grass was CORSE in many places, but at last I arrived in' the COE-Z school room and, as it was my morning to take charge of opening exercises, I read a SAHM from the Bible. ASK ME ANOTHER 1. How far can Bull Run? 2. Where does the Horseshoe Bend? 3. What does a curtain string? 4. What does a car load? 5. Where would Mary land if shaken earthquake? 6. What can a tooth pick? 7. How can a telegraph wire? 8. Why is the ladder rung bad English? 9. What will happen if Gwynns Falls? 10. How can a horse fly? by an . Is the sea hoarse after it roars? Where does a horse' hide? 13. What can a rain drop? 14. What does a lamp shade? 15. What does an ice pick? 16. Who Rolls Royce? 17. What river did the auto Ford? 18. What has Jack Dunn? 19. What does a smoke stack? ZO. What does a monkey wrench? 1,11 1 2

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Tiana' 192lfi T W YTNI NiOTNiI A T 43 a xv 7,71 . A a t 'f K N 1 K f T 1 f ai ill' N fr, l ' xxx f r 1 ' aux Nl! 1 s I . Xxyg 1 r, Y.xN Fri, F ' af 3 1 1' 7 , if is ' mc' KK! P- Zan, ffff' r . A K C' . 1 I 1 1 K . W' S--..df - .X - CAFETERIA ETIQUETTE BROADCASTING THE TOURNAMENT l. Upon entering the cafeteria. one should not IN IVANHOE use any football tactics in securing a seat. 2. When purchasing food in the cafeteria, it is not polite to sample too largely every delicacy be- fore your eyes, no matter how tempting it may be. Remember that others may also want a lick. 3. When purchasing soup you should be sure that you are getting your money's worth. lt is best to take along a ruler and measure each noodle in the soup before buying it. 4. Do not shake each dish of jello, as people will think you are trying to imitate Gilda Gray, the great shimmy dancer. 5. Never ask for frankfurters by the title of hot dogs. They may be pups for all you know. 6. Never stick you head in the ice cream freezer when the boy is trying to dish it out. You may get very cold results. 7. Never try to get by the cashier with three bags of potato chips which she does not know you pos- sess. Be honest! Think of all the bags of pea- nuts you could have got away with. 8. Never ask a teacher if you may sample her lunch. as she might insist upon your taking it all. 9. Never borrow lunch money from teachers, as you will feel obliged to pay it back. l0. Never Cat peas with a fork. What is your knife for? ll. Do not use your pencils. erasers and other tools where you are eating, as you may by accident consume them and receive a Zero for being unpre- pared in the afternoon, 12. If there is no filling in your sandwiches, don't blame the cafeteria. Take your sandwiches to the dentist. 13. If you should ind a fly in any of your food. take it to the science department: they are studying insects of all kinds, Station XYZ broadcasting the tournament. The crowds are gathering and gate receipts are piling higher than those of the Dempsey-Tunney fight. Here comes old Queen Lizzie. Why, she looks as young as she did way back when she used to visit her old man's airplane factory. Haw! Haw! Haw! And look at old Georges head. as bald and shiney as a radio tube. It's a good thing he's got that pasteboard crown on or those flappers would be dusting their beaks by the reflections on his knob. Heh! There comes the poor trash scrambling for a seat. There is one of their number approaching in a nineteen-twenty-three Ford, and oh, look how that gang is yelping with laughter. But he doesn't care. for he's parking right behind a Packard. Boom. boom, dee. boom. boom. boom! Here come the knights! Some are riding forth to return with a silver loving cup while others won't be on that field five minutes before they bite the dust. But such is life. Look out, there goes the bold Ivanhoe riding forth. Holy cats! He bangs Brian de Bois-Gilbert's shield with a crash that would knock the leaning tower over on the other side. Wow! He hit it with the point of his spear: and that means the happy hunting grounds for one of them. Here they go prancing at one another with death in their eyes. Crash! with a capital C. There goes Brian bit- ing the dust. and Ivanhoe rides away with his nose up in the air like a cat that won't eat meat unless it's cooked.

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Iune1928 GWYNNONIA 45 21. What does a window frame? 22. What does a wind shield? 23. What does a hair pin? 24. How can a haircut? 25. With whom does a sugar spoon? 26. How many tons can a school hall? 27. Whom does lemonade? 28. In what jungle can you find a shoe-tree? 29. Does a cloudburst come from overeating? 30. How many tons can a shoe toe? REMARKABLE DISCOVERY BY PROF. N. M. A. ALAMADOODLE OF ENGLAND, FRANCE, SPAIN AND ITALY After an interview with Prof. Alamadoodle, it was learned that he had been at Gwynns Falls Park Junior High School and has made a number of startling discoveries. We find them so astonishing that we shall give a detailed account of a few: A strange Fountain which gushes forth X, Y, Z's instead of water. A Sahm of praise which only sings when we are quiet. A Miller who doesnot grind wheat, but book- keeping, into brainless heads. A Gardner who not only works in spring, but all winter sowing seeds of history to be crowded out by tares before City-Wide Tests. A Mitchell Field for Commercial Subjects. A Corse dinner that is delicious. The inventor of Johnson floor wax who uses it strictly on gym doors, Sister to Smith Brothers who experiments in our laboratory. A Sloan's Liniment for mathematical figures. A Shield which reflects algebraic problems upon blackboards. A Stern which follows after the Travel Club. A Carroll which sings irregular verbs in French. Peter's Chocolate Bars all those from the gym without middies. A FABLE IN NAMES I went out through MYLO door to take a walk on CHARLES STREET, where I went to see a DAWKSI-IO. Coming back by the river, I saw a FISCHER using a CURRY on a horse. I went past the NUTZEL and saw WALTER FILLING a radi- ator. I stopped at the JUSTIS of the Peace and paid a fine. I went to the hardware store and paid a SCHILL- ING for a PAYNE of glass and went to A. CLAS in music. After that I went to the TAYLOR and got my suit pressed. On my way home, I met a LOWMAN walking on the street. At last I called to my mother to WARNER against leaving her doors open at night. I-IORACE LOWMAN. HALL OF FAME BEST LOOKING Claudia Dawes, 9Al. Wesley Jones, 9Al. MOST POPULAR Dorothy Jacobs, 9A7. William Cusick, 9A8. MOST STUDIOUS Esther Stevens, 9A6. Kenneth Saunders, 9A9. BEST ORATORS Ethel Miller, 9A2. Herbert Rosenbaum, 9A2. BEST SOLOISTS Minnie Tolkin, 9Al. Harry Shavitz. 9A4. BEST ATHLETES Dorothea Stevens, 9A2. Robert Truppner, 9A9. BEST ARTISTS Frances Smith, 9Al. Donald Poole, 9Al. BEST DANCERS Dorothy Gale, 9A7. Q Roy Justis, 9A9. MOST ROMANTIC Mabel Clickner, 9Al. Ross Adkins, 9Al. CAN YOU ANSWER THIS WITH THE NAME OF AN AUTOMOBILE? l. A river in New York state? 2. The color of an old person's hair? 3. A fuel? 4. A brand of coffee. 5. A piece of land covered with oak treees? 6. An ancient fire light? We 7. A popular shade of hair? 8, One of the signers of the Declaration of Inda- pendence? . Crossing a stream without a bridge? 10. The fifth largest city in the United States? ll. A famous president of the United States? 12. A satellite of the earth? 13. To avoid? 14. The most ancient car? 15. Across the country? 16. A heavenly body? 17. A small town near Baltimore? You will find the answers to these questions on P389 47. . '9 X