Guilford High School - Rostrum Yearbook (Guilford, ME)

Page 35 text:

THE ROSTRUM 35 Fred: Boyl That oil is awfullv Ruel: 'Tm glad you tested itf, Fred: Test it? I thought you said taste itlv Kip Murphy: Hi, Bog, where did you get that hound you had yesterday?v Prog YVelts: That,s my neighboris bird dog. Kip: YVhat kind of a bird dogiy' Hog: A pointerf' Kip: Hunting birds with a pointer that hasn't got a tail?D Hog: Thais all right. XVhen we started he had one. Mrs. Campbell fthe former P Pj: Don,t you think our son gets his intelligence from l1'l6?,, Don Campbell: 'cHe must! live still got minef, NVith all the girls in defense plants, its hard to get a date. They donit want to go out for a time any more. They want time and a half! Have you heard about the patriotic worm who tried to join the apple core? lf Little Bed Riding Hood lived today, The Modern Girl would scorn her. She only had to meet one wolf, Not one on every corner! Neal Taylor: 'gMom, do people who lie go to heaven?,' Mrs. Taylor: Of course not, Neal. Neal: I bet itis lonesome up there with only God and George VVashing- tonf, joan and VVinnie were chatting in the hall one day. I met the most marvelous guy, said Ioan. He'd be wonderful For youf, 'als he my type? quiried Winnie. Sure, quickly responded Ioan, aheis alive and breathingf, Two NVillimantic farmers who had not seen each other in a long time met and had the following conversation: Hello, Axel. YVhat have you been doingllv I been in the hospitalf, That,s badlv No, that's good. I married the nursef, That,s goodly No, that's bad: she,s got nine chil- drenf, That,s badly No, that's good, she's got a big housef, . That,s goodly No, that's bad, downf, That,s badly uNo, that,s good, she burned up with the housef, Thats goodli' 'iYea, thatis good. the house burned Mac: i'lVhat's wrong with the guy ask- ing you if you can danceiw Mad: 1 was dancing with him when he asked mein Three deaf gentlemen were on a train bound for London. What station is this? inquired the first. Wernbly,', an- swered the guard. Heavensl said the second, I thought it was Thursdaylv So am If exclaimed the third. Let,s all have a drinkin The girl who thinks no man is good enough for her may be right-also she may be left! A friend called on a New Dealer, new 'Father of a boy. The infant was busy on the bottle. K'NVhat do you think of him?v asked the father. 'Tine looking boy. May grow up to be Presidentf, The New Deal father reared back. lVhy? YVhat,s the matter with Roose- Velt?D

Page 34 text:

X JOKE These are jokes from our own school, And are a good way of expression, Some are of students, morons, and fools, Brut, please, donit get the wrong impression. Freddie: uHey, Aussie, vvhat's that book youire reading?v Aussie: XVhat Twenty Million Cirls NVant.,, Freddie: i'Let me see it. 1 vvant to see if they spelled my name rightf' Captain: i'The soldier Who sneaked out of cam-p last night to meet a girl, please step forward - COMPANY HALTV, I. P.: uXVllLlfCV61' happened to the lit- tle girl in the cotton stockings? Alice: 'Nothinglv A smart man is one Who hasn't let a lwoman pin anything on him since he was a baby. He: Please?v She: NOV, He: just this once?', She: No, I saidf, He: KAW, heck, Mom. All the rest of the :boys are goin' barefootf, Mr. Clark: Last night my Wifeis temperature was 1127 Mrs. Emery: Did you call for the doctoriy' Mr. Clark: No, I sent for the Guil- ford Fire Departmentlv Mrs. Sayxvard: 'iWhy do We call Latin the mother tongue?', Iohnnie Lombard: 'cOn accounta father never gets a chance to use itf' Mr. Willis to Mr. Clark: Yes, sir, this married life is getting bad. Every time my Wife gets mad at me she starches my undervvearf, Elaine Crockett: 'iAnimals are crazy about me. When I came down the street this noon all the dogs came out and licked ,my handsf, Paul Piuksznis: i'They used to me un- til I started eating with a knife and forkf, A couple of men Who hadnit seen each other for some time met on the street. One asked, 6'What's with you? l'm I-A novvf, said the other. 'cWhat about you'?v 'SOh, I'm in 4-Mf replied the first. H4-M? Never heard of it. What kind of men do they put in that classifica- tion?,, Men who have been married four times. They Hgure all the iightis been takrn out of them. Clark fto Burtie Drinkwaterjz Burtie, why were you late this morning?v Burtie: Oh, itls terrible. A terrific thing happenedlv Clark: Well, tell me what it Wasf, Burtie: Mother lost the lid off the stove, so I had to sit on the hole to keep the smoke from coming outf, Phyllis Brown: 'cYou're not conceited are you? 'gRed,' Michaud: KNO, but With my looks, brains and personality I could be D Mrs. Cross fto Ruel at four a. m.j: 'WVhat does the clock say? Ruel: 'cTick-tockl Tick-tocklv I. Leathers: I had a chicken for din- ner today that was tough as a rockf, C. Iohnston: MSO Tripp is serving those Plymouth Piocks 'againlv

Page 36 text:

36 THE ROSTRUM Mrs. Brown stopped for a red light and failed to move when it turned green. When the green light came on for the second time and she still showed no signs of moving, the traHic cop walked over and said politely, What,s the mat- ter, lady, ain't we got no colors you like? The rhumba is Where the front of you goes along nice and smooth like a Cadillac, and the hack of you makes like a jeep. Nita Thompson Qjust after a black- outj: Bob, you really shouldnit have kissed me like that with all those people so close around even if it was dark. Bob Cole Qangrilyj: I didift kiss you. 1 only wish I knew who it was-Fd teach himlv Nita Csighingj: 6'Bob, you conldn't teach him anythinglv A. Deane ,43.