Guilford High School - Rostrum Yearbook (Guilford, ME)

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X JOKE These are jokes from our own school, And are a good way of expression, Some are of students, morons, and fools, Brut, please, donit get the wrong impression. Freddie: uHey, Aussie, vvhat's that book youire reading?v Aussie: XVhat Twenty Million Cirls NVant.,, Freddie: i'Let me see it. 1 vvant to see if they spelled my name rightf' Captain: i'The soldier Who sneaked out of cam-p last night to meet a girl, please step forward - COMPANY HALTV, I. P.: uXVllLlfCV61' happened to the lit- tle girl in the cotton stockings? Alice: 'Nothinglv A smart man is one Who hasn't let a lwoman pin anything on him since he was a baby. He: Please?v She: NOV, He: just this once?', She: No, I saidf, He: KAW, heck, Mom. All the rest of the :boys are goin' barefootf, Mr. Clark: Last night my Wifeis temperature was 1127 Mrs. Emery: Did you call for the doctoriy' Mr. Clark: No, I sent for the Guil- ford Fire Departmentlv Mrs. Sayxvard: 'iWhy do We call Latin the mother tongue?', Iohnnie Lombard: 'cOn accounta father never gets a chance to use itf' Mr. Willis to Mr. Clark: Yes, sir, this married life is getting bad. Every time my Wife gets mad at me she starches my undervvearf, Elaine Crockett: 'iAnimals are crazy about me. When I came down the street this noon all the dogs came out and licked ,my handsf, Paul Piuksznis: i'They used to me un- til I started eating with a knife and forkf, A couple of men Who hadnit seen each other for some time met on the street. One asked, 6'What's with you? l'm I-A novvf, said the other. 'cWhat about you'?v 'SOh, I'm in 4-Mf replied the first. H4-M? Never heard of it. What kind of men do they put in that classifica- tion?,, Men who have been married four times. They Hgure all the iightis been takrn out of them. Clark fto Burtie Drinkwaterjz Burtie, why were you late this morning?v Burtie: Oh, itls terrible. A terrific thing happenedlv Clark: Well, tell me what it Wasf, Burtie: Mother lost the lid off the stove, so I had to sit on the hole to keep the smoke from coming outf, Phyllis Brown: 'cYou're not conceited are you? 'gRed,' Michaud: KNO, but With my looks, brains and personality I could be D Mrs. Cross fto Ruel at four a. m.j: 'WVhat does the clock say? Ruel: 'cTick-tockl Tick-tocklv I. Leathers: I had a chicken for din- ner today that was tough as a rockf, C. Iohnston: MSO Tripp is serving those Plymouth Piocks 'againlv

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THE ROSTRUM 33 Mrs. Kenny- K nowing E ntertaining N oble N ecessary Y ielding Mrs. Kenny is new to our school this year, but in this short time she's been with us she has made herself indispensa- ble. She teaches VVorld History, Civics, Problems of Democracy, American His- tory, and General Science. She keeps the Freshmen quiet, or at least she tries to, but they're a bad lotl Miss Stephens- S tylish T ruthful E nergetic P ractical ' H uman E xcellent N ice! S ociable Steviev is our commercial teacher. She makes the students learn their typ- ing, bookkeeping, etc. She makes the juniors behave in their home room, too. She advises the Bowling Clulb, the Lit- erary Club, and the Social Committee. Miss Smith- S tiinulating M odern I deal T olerant H earty Smithy,' teaches all the Home Eco- nomics classes. She was the girls' Phys- ical Education instructor, is faculty ad- visor on the Assembly Committee and the Homec Club. She,s short and sweetf' B Ir. YVillis- YVitty I nquisitive L oyal L audable I nventive S agacious XVillis teaches Manual Arts to the in- dustrious boys in our school. He offten referees the basketball games, and he's a good one, tool Miss Savage- S . incere A uthentic V ital A rtistie G enial E fficient teaches the 7th and 8th She teaches Algebra 1 besides. She keeps the junior High kids out of mischief and is faculty advisor for the 7th grade. Miss Savage grade subjects. Mrs. Savward- S ysteinatic A miable Y eomanly XV insome A mbitious li etentive D eferential Mrs. Sayward takes care of the Sopho- mores. She teaches French 1, 2 and 3, Latin 1 and 2, and English 2. She is ad- visor for the French Club, too. Mrs. Brown- B enevolent R easonable O bliging W arm-hearted N eat Mrs. Brown teaches 7th and 8th grade subjects and is 8th grade faculty ad- visor. She also teaches Civics and Prob- le-ms of Democracy in the high school. She is our music instructor-when we ' have music!

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THE ROSTRUM 35 Fred: Boyl That oil is awfullv Ruel: 'Tm glad you tested itf, Fred: Test it? I thought you said taste itlv Kip Murphy: Hi, Bog, where did you get that hound you had yesterday?v Prog YVelts: That,s my neighboris bird dog. Kip: YVhat kind of a bird dogiy' Hog: A pointerf' Kip: Hunting birds with a pointer that hasn't got a tail?D Hog: Thais all right. XVhen we started he had one. Mrs. Campbell fthe former P Pj: Don,t you think our son gets his intelligence from l1'l6?,, Don Campbell: 'cHe must! live still got minef, NVith all the girls in defense plants, its hard to get a date. They donit want to go out for a time any more. They want time and a half! Have you heard about the patriotic worm who tried to join the apple core? lf Little Bed Riding Hood lived today, The Modern Girl would scorn her. She only had to meet one wolf, Not one on every corner! Neal Taylor: 'gMom, do people who lie go to heaven?,' Mrs. Taylor: Of course not, Neal. Neal: I bet itis lonesome up there with only God and George VVashing- tonf, joan and VVinnie were chatting in the hall one day. I met the most marvelous guy, said Ioan. He'd be wonderful For youf, 'als he my type? quiried Winnie. Sure, quickly responded Ioan, aheis alive and breathingf, Two NVillimantic farmers who had not seen each other in a long time met and had the following conversation: Hello, Axel. YVhat have you been doingllv I been in the hospitalf, That,s badlv No, that's good. I married the nursef, That,s goodly No, that's bad: she,s got nine chil- drenf, That,s badly No, that's good, she's got a big housef, . That,s goodly No, that's bad, downf, That,s badly uNo, that,s good, she burned up with the housef, Thats goodli' 'iYea, thatis good. the house burned Mac: i'lVhat's wrong with the guy ask- ing you if you can danceiw Mad: 1 was dancing with him when he asked mein Three deaf gentlemen were on a train bound for London. What station is this? inquired the first. Wernbly,', an- swered the guard. Heavensl said the second, I thought it was Thursdaylv So am If exclaimed the third. Let,s all have a drinkin The girl who thinks no man is good enough for her may be right-also she may be left! A friend called on a New Dealer, new 'Father of a boy. The infant was busy on the bottle. K'NVhat do you think of him?v asked the father. 'Tine looking boy. May grow up to be Presidentf, The New Deal father reared back. lVhy? YVhat,s the matter with Roose- Velt?D