Guelph Collegiate Vocational Institute - Acta Nostra Yearbook (Guelph, Ontario Canada)

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ACTA NO Milton- Dorothy, you're the sunlight of my soul. you reign in my heart. - Dorothy- Milton, do you mean this for a proposal. or is it just a weather forecast? Mr. Ross put up a notice that on an early date he would lecture on the following sub- ject: Our eyes and how we see through them. Shortly afterwards he was astonished to Find an alternative title written underneath: Our pupils and how they see through us. A party of soldiers were camping by the side of a river when the officer gave the order Fall in! Pat. who had not been long in the army. .promptly fell into the water, Officer- Two deep. Pat- Beg0rra, sir, why didn'1 you tell me it was too deep before I fell in. Patron lphoninq message!-'AMake the signature XY. N. Dill. Operator- Is the first letter B as in 'Bi1l? ' Patron- No, Dill as in pickle. George I-Iull- I just got kicked oft the Gridiron. Maisie Barr- Ol You waffle failure? Don Davison- XX'ell. and how did you End yourself this morning? Alice Day- Oh, I just opened my eyes and there I was. Eyerard Rudd- Our dog is dead. Powell Morgan- I suppose he either swal- lowed a tape line and died by inches or else went up the alley and died by the yard. Everard- Nope, he crawled away up un- der the bed and died by the foot. I'll be dammedf' said the brook when the fat woman broke through the bridge.-Kansas Sour Owl. STRA, 1926 37 So you remember way back to the Re- volution. do you? Yessa. de Revolution and Gin'l XYashing- ton an' all them. Perhaps you were a witness of the fall of Rome? Nossa. ah didn' exackly see it. but ah re- collect heariu' something drop! -Pointer. XYhy should a worm want to turn when it is the same at both ends.-Harvard Lam- poon. Sssssshhhhhh. they sleep! XYho sleep? My feet. -XYisconsin Octopus. lYhen I was in China I saw a woman hanging from a tree. Shang'liai? Oh, about six feet. -Lord Ieff. Madame X.- So you'ye been to Italy, have yon. and how did you enjoy BoloQne? Tourist- Oh, just tine. but little Guinevere would swallow the skins. -Stanford Chaviif- ral, First Man- I see you advertised for a man retail cauariesf' Owner- Yes, are you a salesman? - . First Man- Oh, no. I just had a curiosity tind out how the little birds lost their tails in the first place. to to He- Can you make a sentence with the word cavort in it? . - H She- I want a cavort of milk. Boo. l'll give you a pint of the rea-l stuFf if yOu'11 mu .wer to the hotel and Set my grip. hurry now. KYhat. havent you gone yet? A H Gone. Boss? I'se back. XYatson- I don't know whether to become a painter or a poet! . H Reid- Become a painter! - an XYatson- I-Iaye you seen my pictures . Reid- No but I have read YOUY P00115- l Al-I G Y MEF Bach' RMP l,,yRi'Bo K Yiwu y i I oflx val I grnc CA I Af- f 'fjQ'f,F,'j,'Af, Qwtffl Inf Nl em, X J PM R120 S . FR NNN .v wurcf, I PLRLHA X F 5 on la, v XR, NN W H144 , Yi! . '1',. ..,, ' ,,,. , . Z2 1 573. ftyg, Lf. P 4 if W -2- I Tr 5 1 rm m: W1 'iff I 'TW 1

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36 ACTA NOSTRA, 1926 Ve GS There are two kinds of jokes In he laughed Zlli .Xcta Nostra's and Teacher s. XYhv is .Xcta Nostra like a girl? Because every fellow should have I his own. and not lvorrow sonieo Mr. Leckie- l am tempted Class at test. A K'Chink Hull- Xieltl not to 3 S11 B. Student- Did you a person heing killed hy a deadlv 3 Sr. .X. Studenti'AXo. hut l ne else ine of S. to give this teinptatioiif' ever hear of glance. know a guy who got zi lvroken arm from an empty Mr. Leckie- I get a great deal of pl out ot my physic's class. Urel BLlI'l'OXYSiuhvClllll out of it. So Disappointed The sofa saegetl in the centre. 'l'he shades were pulled just so. lhe taniily had retired. Ihe parlor light hurned low: 'lihere came a sound front the sofa. .Xs the clock was striking' two. stair. easure do If' .Xnd the li. C.-Y. l. student slammed her text luitnk, XYith xt thankful. XYell. l'm through. lfstelle- You know. Mare.. I will never marry unless l hnd a man who is my direct opposite, Margaret- XYell. that shouldn't he so hard, my dear, there are quite a few intelligent men left. lileanor- XYliere did you get that suit. Roh. its so loud you can almost hear it harkf' D Holi- XX'liy shouldn't it. It's a dog-gone gutirl Stlll. Stanley XYehh tn Gerald McHugh- Say. you'd make a good linker. G. McHugh-XX liy? Because I need some dough Stanley XYehh- Xo. ltecause you're a good loafcrf' Mr. Leckie tto M. XYallacel- This large motor is a one horse power. Now. what do you suppose this small one is? M. XX'allace- One colt power. A New Element Women Syinhol-XYo a meniher of the human family. UccurrenceiCan lie found wherever man exists. Physical Propertiesf.fXll colors and sizes. Always appears in a disguised condition. Sur- face of face protected hy a coating of paint oi film of powder. tComposition immaterial? Boils at nothing and may freeze any moment. However, it melts when properly treated. Yery hitter if not used correctly. Chemical Properties-lfxtreniely active, possesses an atiinity for gold, silver. platinum and precious stones of all kinds. Yiolent re- action if left alone hy men. .-Xhle to ah- sorh all sorts of expensive foods at any time. L'ndissolved lay water hut activity is greatly increased when saturated with spirit sohition. Sometimes yields to pressure, Turns green when placed near to a hetter appearing sample. .Xges very rapidly. Fresh variety has great magnetic attraction. Caution-Highly explosive and likely its he dangerous in inexperienced hands. -From an American Magazine, Mrs. Lowes- Miss Elliott, can you give me the masculine form of 'hind?' .lanet Elliott- Yes, feminine-hind. Mas- culinesfrontf' Miss Humphries- Find the common de- nominator, Miss XYoods. Marion XYoocls- Oh, gootlness. is that thing lost again. , New Definitions Some quotations from school examination papers: A hlizzard is the inside of a hen. A circle is a round, straight line with a hole in the middle. A mountain range is a large cookstove. Typhoid fever is prevented by fascination.

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38 ACTA NOSTRA, 1926 real? 'irssf X l 'ffffi AWA W- - 1. 2 ......a-N, g' i - : - 1' 9 'S ' I 4 s mi lm A .9 I L K is ifW' N A Ku 1:..,7. ', f -.,4- ,mga -, Q, 1 f me as ' -' A f, ter ff 1 To you from falling hands we throw The torch: be yours to hold it high: If ye break faith with us who die, We shall not sleep, though poppies grow In Flanders' Field. Lieut.-Col. john McCrae, Student of G. C. I. 1883-1888. We are deeply indebted to Ronald Walker, of the Maltric. Class, of last year, for the heading of our Alumni column. Ronald is enrolled in a two years' course at the Central Technical School, Toronto, and has already at- tained considerable renown in that in- stitution. At the recent bazaar held there, he was chosen from his whole class to do the silhouette and portrait work. Continued success to our art- ist! We expect. to hear more of him in the future. Who can tell what fame may be won by some of the present students? Eddie Johnson, renowned tshe world over as t.he greatest living tenor, but a few years ago was labouring like us at Geometry, His-tory and such in the sacred precints of the old G. C. I. The G. C. I. has always numbered among its teachers several of its ex- studentts. The following have been con- nected with the school in both capacit- ies: Frank J. Hughes, M.A., L.L.B.g W. J. Dobbie, M.D.g Kate C. Skinner, B.A. tMrs. H. Howittlg Daisy Taylorg W. G. Scrimgeour, M.A.g Sara Blythg Rowena Humphries, B.A., Ernest Worden, B.A., Myrtle Fritz tMrs. Wm. West, Wind- sori, Elsie Shaw tMrs. A. Brooks, Wel- landj, Margaret Pigott, Ella Sinclair, B.A., XVil1na Humphries, B.A., Margar- et McDonald, Hugh Stanley, B.S.A. Of interest to the Alumni and the students. is the following message from Helen Lay, the Lit. President of 1924-25: 'SAS one of the graduates of last year, I am sure I may say without ex- aggeration that we welcome the first appearance of Acta Nostra with feel- ings of more than mere pleasure, for its publication is the concrete realiza- tion of one of our pet dreams. To found a paper worthy of our school, and writ. ten by and for the pupils, has been an ambition of the Executives of the Lit for several years, but not until this year has such an undertaking been found at all possible. So here's to long life, growth, and prosperity to Acta Nostra and heartiest congratulations to the editor and his staff. May they and their successors keep up the good work for many successful years. HELEN T. DAY. Helen is studying music at home this year.