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Page 28 text:
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THE WIT OF MAKVLX HlllAKl Johiisoii-r Me re. Cartt ir ' Ihvvr ' ' Miss Le vis? Miss lA‘ vis isn ' t ht‘re. riiere slie is, (lisjjuiscMl as an €‘nipty fliair. Let ' s sinionize nnr watehes and jet started. First we ' ll tie up some loose ends on the nie lieval period and move on to sonietliin else. W hat does a medieval lord sav when he hanjis a peasant? Serfs up. W hat does the serf sav? Wateh vonr manors. What do von think of Red (Jiina? It jioes tjood with a blue table eloth. Many Chinese eat hut Fn man (dm. Let ' s «jo to ( eorj e F. Kennan ' s Russia and the ff est. A Four vear old ehild eonhl understand it. Run out and tjet me a four vear old ehild. Onee von put this hook down, von ean ' t piek it up. As you all know Kennan was in the State Depart¬ ment during W orld W ar II so he ean offer ns some valuable insights. In Russia they say that ' s a hiineh of Rolshevik. W hat do thev eall a Russian gravey ard? A (a)niniunist plot. W hat are those big things they used in W orld W ar I yvith treads and turrets and a big gun? Tanks. You ' re yveleome. W hat did (merman people say yvhen they rolled through Poland? Tanks for the memories. W ho was the tallest President of the United States? Dyvight I). Eiffeltoyver. I know it ' s a very stoney t|uestion but let ' s not take it for granite. The delinition for the day: myth—a female moth. I yvon ' t ansyver any piestions about evolution. You ean ' t make a monkey out of me. Eleven years at Ley inyvorth, or tyvely e y ears at Twely eworth. I ' ll take 5 and 10 at W oolworth. In a minor game, played in a stadium adjoining a pasture, the hatter hit a long fly hall. The ball landed in a pasture and a pig ate it. W hat is the umpire supposed to rule? An inside the pork home run. Don ' t get ehoked up. How yvould you like a niee glass of ice water? Rite into an onion, that will make vonr eves yvater. That ' s irrelevant. There are lots of irrelephants in the zoo. Anv question?—Anv rags, any shoes? It ' s all just a fig newton of your imagination. 24
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Page 27 text:
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councilor couldn’t believe there were that many. ’’He musta been stoned,” he eoniinented. But there were many things of whieh Ross was justifiably proud. The vocational program was excellent. As soon as this reporter entered Rita Kelly’s Earth Seienee class, he knew he had found Groveton ' s typical student. This was beeause sophomore David Jones was star¬ ing out the window . This gave rise to all sorts of fascinating surrealis¬ tic implications. Obviously, the student was turned off, dis¬ satisfied, and essentially running away from reality. He alst prob¬ ably lived in a $50,000 house, had a Colonel for a father and a Seott- ish Terrier named Mae for a pet. Probably flighty, didn’t want to - get married, was getting had grades beeause of sports, and wants to be an airline pilot. Amaz¬ ing w ' hat an introductorv analysis course will tell you. In conclusion, then, an eval¬ uation of Groveton must be based upon eertain criteria. If one con¬ siders cleanliness, facilities, class size, and teacher’s qualifieations important, then Groveton . . . well . . . uh . . . On the other hand, if library size, low absentee and dropout rate, and per eent of graduates who go to eollege are emphasized, Groveton comes out . . . er . . . well . . . Then again, who’s to say if a school is good or bad? Peter Hirsehfeld
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