Groveton High School - Tigerama Yearbook (Alexandria, VA)

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councilor couldn’t believe there were that many. ’’He musta been stoned,” he eoniinented. But there were many things of whieh Ross was justifiably proud. The vocational program was excellent. As soon as this reporter entered Rita Kelly’s Earth Seienee class, he knew he had found Groveton ' s typical student. This was beeause sophomore David Jones was star¬ ing out the window . This gave rise to all sorts of fascinating surrealis¬ tic implications. Obviously, the student was turned off, dis¬ satisfied, and essentially running away from reality. He alst prob¬ ably lived in a $50,000 house, had a Colonel for a father and a Seott- ish Terrier named Mae for a pet. Probably flighty, didn’t want to - get married, was getting had grades beeause of sports, and wants to be an airline pilot. Amaz¬ ing w ' hat an introductorv analysis course will tell you. In conclusion, then, an eval¬ uation of Groveton must be based upon eertain criteria. If one con¬ siders cleanliness, facilities, class size, and teacher’s qualifieations important, then Groveton . . . well . . . uh . . . On the other hand, if library size, low absentee and dropout rate, and per eent of graduates who go to eollege are emphasized, Groveton comes out . . . er . . . well . . . Then again, who’s to say if a school is good or bad? Peter Hirsehfeld

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CRASS OF ' 74 A DEFAMATION OF FIVE AREA HIGH SCHOOLS . ... It u(is (in English cl(is.s. he S(il(L Blit the subject todny lens English! Eortiuidtelv. just doien the hull, lee found soniethinfi more interestinf;;. the teacher, an at tractile orange iconian icith fluffy black hair, sat at her desk and stared straif ;ht ahead as the tape recorder droned on about the danp:ers of drup;s. One group in her ' media class, she e.xplained. icas interested in the dramatic methods employed in portraying drug addicts on the stage. Per- haps this was icliy the students, sivefit up against the walls and into the corners of the classroom like so much human refuse, stared vacantly, their eyes and faces empty. The danger here was not drugs. These kids ice re being wasted by heterogeneous grouping. He was sixteiMi. His (“old whili ' fa(‘e and uneven shanks of dirty blonde hair halaneed preearioiisly on lop (d’ a five-loot h( ap of dirty jeans. And everybody who saw him at Groveton High Sehool knew he was stoned. ”Hey. Look at that kid. ’ Which kid? The one with the uneven shanks of dirty blonde hair bal¬ anced pn ' carionsly on top of a five-foot heap of jeans. Oh. That kid. Y( ah, him. You know what, h(“ looks kind of fimnv. almost Yon don’t mean . . . Yes, I do. He looks stoned. No! Yes! Reallv? On drugs and all? ” Amt nobody knew what to do. What should we do? ” I dunno. Waddya wanna d »? ’’I dunno. Wanna plav basketball? ” O.K. ” Oh, (h)d, was In stom ' d. Soo stoned. So incredibly, iid’initelv, indefati ' fahlv stoned. Hev man. like what did indefatigahly mean anyway? Who eared? Jesns, it felt good. Soo good. People didn ' t un¬ derstand how tiood enltin ' i English class made him f(‘el. Tri- ppin’ on Skippin’, man. Soo good. Oh, everything was heautifnl. And skippin’ school was especially heautifnl. Oh yeah! If there is a melting pot in the Washington art ' a, (yritveton is it. The sehool is proud of the mix¬ ture and feels it lends a certain vi¬ tality to life at Groveton. F ' or ex¬ ample, the selnxd spends on(“- third of its annual budget on re¬ cruiting—not athletes—hnt minor¬ ities. One English teacher proudly asserted that her department had donated half of its paperback hook fund to aid a Eithnanian dwarf in attending the sehool. Then is no one more familiar with the problems that this mix¬ ture causes than .Jim Ross, (rrov(‘- ton’s principal, who nott ' s with eharaeteristie logic that when country eluhhers. hippies, soul brothers and rednecks rnh elbows, friction is produced. Wbv, bell yes, we’ve got problems. ” said Ross in his own inimitable man¬ ner. From this line, (wbieb in¬ cludes the word bell ) we can tell wbat kind of a person be is. He was sitting in the drab einder- hloek cell that is bis office (appar¬ ently be is free to come and go as In [)h“ases), and radiated energA. a luxury in tbesi times ( f crisis. Ross is new to the school ibis V(“ar. One student, when asked bow In found bis m w j)rineij)al. replied Ob. I j( st genrallv look down about a foot or two. and there be is. The author at- tribut( d this statenn nt to the fact that Ross has sideburns wbieb make him look dat( d, not younger. I’he school faced probb ' ins. be explained, in the areas of atten¬ dance, eurrieulnm, discipline, drugs, race, and sex . . . ’’to name a few. ” The author interpreted this statement as a joke. ”A great number of stinh ' iits siinplv won’t go to class. Is it their lack of responsihilitv or is it that we have to jazz up tin instruc¬ tional program? Ross asked. ”1 think it’s sonn of both. ” be answered. Apparentlv at (iroveton it is not uneommon to have some¬ one answer bis own (piestion. as this indicates a great amount of know h dge. Ra( ial problems? ’Well. I’ll give von some eon- erete examples . . . . ' L’j white. 10 black killed in race ri(»t —Febrn- arv II. 1971. School bnrin d down in race riot —Mav 2(). 1972. Teacher tarr( d and feathered- November 197.3. Rut niueb of wbat ap[)ears to he racial isn’t. Yon find out that the Kt y (iluh owed the Afro-American (iluh five dollars. Right off, you know it’s for heroin—you just know damn well that it’s drugs. Ross estimated that one of two kids might not he on hard drugs, or something like that. Another

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THE WIT OF MAKVLX HlllAKl Johiisoii-r Me re. Cartt ir ' Ihvvr ' ' Miss Le vis? Miss lA‘ vis isn ' t ht‘re. riiere slie is, (lisjjuiscMl as an €‘nipty fliair. Let ' s sinionize nnr watehes and jet started. First we ' ll tie up some loose ends on the nie lieval period and move on to sonietliin else. W hat does a medieval lord sav when he hanjis a peasant? Serfs up. W hat does the serf sav? Wateh vonr manors. What do von think of Red (Jiina? It jioes tjood with a blue table eloth. Many Chinese eat hut Fn man (dm. Let ' s «jo to ( eorj e F. Kennan ' s Russia and the ff est. A Four vear old ehild eonhl understand it. Run out and tjet me a four vear old ehild. Onee von put this hook down, von ean ' t piek it up. As you all know Kennan was in the State Depart¬ ment during W orld W ar II so he ean offer ns some valuable insights. In Russia they say that ' s a hiineh of Rolshevik. W hat do thev eall a Russian gravey ard? A (a)niniunist plot. W hat are those big things they used in W orld W ar I yvith treads and turrets and a big gun? Tanks. You ' re yveleome. W hat did (merman people say yvhen they rolled through Poland? Tanks for the memories. W ho was the tallest President of the United States? Dyvight I). Eiffeltoyver. I know it ' s a very stoney t|uestion but let ' s not take it for granite. The delinition for the day: myth—a female moth. I yvon ' t ansyver any piestions about evolution. You ean ' t make a monkey out of me. Eleven years at Ley inyvorth, or tyvely e y ears at Twely eworth. I ' ll take 5 and 10 at W oolworth. In a minor game, played in a stadium adjoining a pasture, the hatter hit a long fly hall. The ball landed in a pasture and a pig ate it. W hat is the umpire supposed to rule? An inside the pork home run. Don ' t get ehoked up. How yvould you like a niee glass of ice water? Rite into an onion, that will make vonr eves yvater. That ' s irrelevant. There are lots of irrelephants in the zoo. Anv question?—Anv rags, any shoes? It ' s all just a fig newton of your imagination. 24