Grove City Area High School - Pine Knot Yearbook (Grove City, PA)

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HE RAZZBURG GAZE1'TE CHIMES NO SENSE A COPY APRIL FIRST I7 A. P35 SENIIIUIIHRAINEY IIIMIESIIEY IN--IIUEEEE CAII RUIUNIIAMSCANIIAI ANOTHER HAT WITHDRAWN FROM POLITICAL RING BRIIIIAIII WER SHAKEN Washing-out, D. C.-Sen- ator William Rainey is to appear as witness in the Coffee Can Rotundal' scan- dal. It is hoped that the Senator's brilliant career and flashing testimonies will throw some light on the af- fair. Rainey is connected only in as much that he has 163 9-16 shares fPreparedJ in the Duplex Lubricating Company owned and oper- ated by Secretary of the Exterior, I. M. Dumb and Secretary of the Bank Roll, I. Will Steele. NEWLY EEIFFJFIWIYUR in IIQUNIE nunfs Crimson Gulch, Nev.-Mr. Grant Filer has assumed the reins of government, as newly elected mayor, late tomorrow afternoon. He will deliver his inaugural address yesterday and it was very good. Immediately on the grad- uation of the class of '35 Gertrude Harshaw and Dick von Ende expect to open a class teaching the fine art of rolling eyes and dice. Adjoining this establishment will be found Sara E. Jack and Grace Bobbitt-Beauty Shoppe. Bony Airs, S.A.- Flght- ing Bill Bruner walks off with th e Paper-Weight championship bout, handing Fade Away Fannegan in- to the arms of Morpheus in the fifth round. 53 A. P.iAIter Prohibition I iuulvms WEUUII RAGE Poke-it-sky, N. Y.-Hon. D. A. D. Thomas, Esq., So- cialist candidate for munici- pal garbage collector with- draws from the political race on the grounds that a wheel in his wagon is dam- aged beyond repair and one horse died. Mr. Thomas did rot state what he expected Lo do but it is remarked that he has heavy holdings in J. L. Penny's series of :hain stores. mvlHunAN mumsi EEK Hmm HIP UE EIEEEI mwfn Paree, 'France - James Griffith, an American tour- ist, tumbled from the peak of Eiffel Tower last Friday P. M. He sustained several severe injuries among the worst of which were a dis- located brain and a sprained finger-nail. Madandagasedcow, Ilndigo Ocean-Hon. Dickson von Ende is opening a combined soda-fountain and livery stable in King Eatemrawis village. He states that this mighty project is entirely philanthropic and for the express benefit of the na- tives. IHis success depends largely on whether he keeps his head or not. Honk Honk, China-Chas. Sisley files a suit against the government of China for alleged injuries. He charges that he found a portion of the royal fleet in his breakfast-food. 25 ELECTRIC EAN NIAGNAIE REIIRES ERUNI BUSINESS North Pole-The electric fan agency run by Charles McCarl has changed hands. After completing negotia- tions with the National Fruit GYCVVSIIS Assogration which is taking over this business, Mr. McCarl says he expects to retire from business and end his days in an igloo with an oczas- ional inter-stellar Hight to break the monotony. INote, McCarl was always a little Hightyj Razzburgh - Local lady wins first honors in county- wide essay contest. Mary White, the young hopeful of one of our best townsmen acquits herself admirably in the last of a series of essay contests. We regret very much that this paper is un- able to print the winning essay on Eye Winkersf' and wish to commend the labors of our youthful citi- zen along literary lines. It is really remarkable at her age. VVest Librarian, Minn.- Ray Hosack is awarded the Congressioniall medial fleath- erj of valor after' saving Don Drennon from a fear- ful hydrophobic bumble-bee with extreme danger to himself. The dread monster was about to pounce on its prey Cpoor Dcnj when brave and fearless Ray shot it through the tail with his ltrusty bow and arrow. , .. AY , .... sh.

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PINE KNOT l 4....-.,.,....,.:.....i......-....-....-....-.... 1924 inn-lm-un--nn-un--nn-nn-fmiinu-me-uu-ni:--ul:-mx- z- 1 1-ni:-ui:-ni:1ln51 Dorothy Allen Dot Ambition-Wilson's 14 Points A charming girl in everv way, This lovelv little Dot, That all can't love and win her hand Is one heart :breaking thought. Orchestra and Orpheus, f21 '22 '23 '24 Class History David Shelley Squeely Ambition--Editor Ladies Home Journal Here is Daveg orator, artist, all round athlete, droll entertainer and good fellow. Que voulez-vous encore! We prophesy great success in all your fut- ure undertakings. fSten on the gas.J Football, '21 '22 '23 '24 ' Basketball '21 '22 '23 '24 Harold Cozad Cozy Ambition-To repeat Perrfs Victory. Arrived this year from Parnassus Hi, Tall and handsome the flappers say, One little Rosebud caught his eye, And so he was bound to stay. Virginia Jamison Double Chinn Ambition-Ziegfierld Follies. Here's a sweet girl To whom all the boys cater, A good violinist and A great defzater. Janette Nicklin Nick Ambition-Missionary Oh, don't you remember Sweet Janette with merry brown eyes. Who blushed with delight, When you rnentionezl one name But that name you are left to surmise. William Rainey Bill Ambition--Anything Emerald Here's Rainey, very brainy. As a Senior Cught to be But of late, deteriorate Often seen, shading Green. Robert Butler Bert Ambition-A Living Skeleton. Here's a guy of great renown, deeds are known thruout the town. As captain of our football team, We know he sure has got some steam. Gertrude Bowden 'STOHIHIYH Ambition-Match Making. This pestiferous tease is a jolly laSS, Whose fat eschews a Skinnay class. The Pine Knot Staff. t A

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Page Two THE RAZZBURG GAZETTE CHIMES April 1 s eg g v v xzbdgxym H l me .,.swe,i.1g',1.'fof ..s','a, '71 ' -was-1 - EDITORIAL The Whichness of the What The whichness of the what! An extremely broad subject. One that requires much consideration and forethought. Archemedes gave his opinion back in 1776. This brilliant work was soon followed by a ser- ies of le-:tur-es, bearing di- rectly or indirectly on this most momentous question, prepared by Columbus, Pla- to and H. M. B. Lehn. Ein- stein propounded a reason- able thesis dealing unintel- ligently and ineffectually with the grave problem which has always caused so much controversy. The whichness of the what. In those few words lie unlimited possibilities, a veritable gold mine of op- portunities for all scientists, theologians, physicians and philosophers. After centur- ies of expounding, pro- pounding, compounding and hardpcunding the ancient object of discussion is still alive and kicking. Here is your chance -Graduates oi '24. Be famous!! All nuts that failed to phone to our reporter their names and deeds will have to sleep on. We wanted to touch up everybody with our latest bottle of mufilage. ,OT The Chimes is a ni St re- putable sheet in e-.ery ies- pect. Subscribe early and avoid the rush. Subscrip- tions should be addressed G. Matthews, Sucker Depart- ment. 101 Ye editor and all associ- ates have gone througn the medical course in Whackem School of Journalists, and are thoroughly equipped to blow up anybody. TOT Our linotype writer, Rev. Cecil Adams is never known to make mistakes except on obituaries of maiden ladies of uncertain age. 101 Reporter Wardle is most painstaking i n n o sin g around after all the delicate tidbits of latest scandal. SENATOR HAROLD JOHNSON STILL FIGHT HIGH WAGES fDissociated Press.J Washing-out - Senator Johnson, the Labor repre- sentative from the Pardoe district declares that an impossible economic condi- tion exists and that the very foundation of the cap- italists power is crumbling. The farmers and workmen are deiiberately swamped in financial affairs. They are receiving more money than they are sole to spend and they go without sleep for many days getting rid of it. There are no more bogus stocks or bonds in which to sink it, everything turns to money in their hands. What :an the poor workmen do? If they quit farming they quit eating and if they keep on farming the money iloozl still pours in. An unfair condition exists as the bank ers and brokers are now paupei s. This is outrageous and deplorablef' says John- son, who sees nc hope for the submerged farmer. Orations and Lectures on any subject written to orde: for One Dollar each. Would- be orators may make pay- ment for same on the in- Address: Professor Freddie Armour, at G. C. H. S. 26 RADIO PROGRAM fSusan Gfreen Announcing.J The Dumb-Bell Broadcast- ing Station will at 6:00 p.m. Monday, broadcast the fol- lowing program on a wave-- length of 1,000,000 Comets. If bugs at distant points fail' to hear some of these selections they should throw their sets awayg they canft be any good. 6:30-We will be favored by a talk, subject, Burnt Gases, by Exhaust Pipe. 7:00-The United Broth- ers of the Gas men's Asso- ciation will render a gas- house explosion. This num- ber will require no loud speaker. If operators at a distance cf 5,000 miles do not hear this selection let us know and we will call the city powder plant and have the explosion repeated. 7:40--Shooting of noise- less fire crackers for the benefit of the Deaf and Dumb institutions at Var- ious points. 9:00-There will be a reading by Millie Ameter. 10:00--Market reports by Bull Durham. Legal actions were brot against Elwood Temple, the wealthy young egg-broker, by the blushing young de- butante, Sara Libbie Jack, in a very debatable Ffattery Case. Elwood is deepfy grieved that such a thing had to be made public ss early in his career. Dame Rumor has it that he has quit spearing hearts and is ,drowning his remorse by recklessly shooting pool. What is puzzling the publi: is: Does his mother know he's out ? Miss Leola Vincent, the noted scientist, who has been trying to put two and two together for a long time no-w, has discovered the reason that a crab walks backward is because it wants to keep the dust out of its eyes.