Grinnell College - Cyclone Yearbook (Grinnell, IA)

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f5locl3liolders come forward againj Largely. You speak of small holdings, Lark: Don't I own a large share of the facultv of this College? V lVlclVlurky. And it's a well known fact that I own a little of every- thing around here. It's not necessary for me to enumerate my holdings in detail. CTl1e other stockholders S lT'iIG.D Caddy. Say, old gent, now that all these other bloated bondholders have put you wise to their hands, I'll just tip you off with a word or two about the Dance Halls, Smoke-houses, Billiard-parlors, Wine-rooms, Elec- tric theatres, and so forth, and so forth, that Caddy owns. Nothing slow about him. va - as '1 9 Q as ' k ' 9 - Q- yy , Y, ffx , ,SX fx, ' 'Y V 'Y V v ' s XJ 'ifkfxl fx, fC75y lq, Vw r st as is S s s Sf sd' sl 'H F' 'E it Enter ine Dancing Maidens dressed in spangled costumes of various fclcrs. They do a clever dance around Caddy and sing: CTUNE: l'lARRIGAN.J A-R-then an M-O-R-Y spells tea party, 'Gayest place in all Grinnell tonight, Faculty applauding with delight, Maidens gay, iced frappe, waltzes sweet nll break of day: All, Alas! a dream. Enter Rafi! Rah! Boys, dressed in white flannel suits, straw hats, and purple hose and neclfiies, 5-,J , , A : 'f fu, . 4 ff ,-Q- I! X , ' , ' j ' J E ,il 4 3 f f 1 f r ay .Q A J 4 4 . -V 4 .- 'if 2' Q Q ? ?' 3 !'!. !Y. Sh su. A SW- in

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Hums. Yes, just as you had planned. Largely. Yes, always as you have planned. lVlclVlurky, ltd like to ask how long itls going to be just as you have planned. Wayward. I don 't see why- Bigler fpushing him asidel. Sh-h-li. Now looky here, Lark, whv don't we ever get in on this little game of tiddle-de-winks? Don't we all own shares in this here College? Caddy. lake a tumble, old gent! Lark. Gentlemen, gentlemen, I fear that your small holdings have greatly magnified the importance of your subordinate positions in your own eyesp Stockholders fshoulingj. Small holdings? Subordinate positions? Lark. Certainly. Calm yourselves, gentlemen. I supposed of course that you understood long before this who is the real master of the College. Bigler fExciteallyj. Donlt I own all the athletics of this here in- stitution? I-ly? And who just bought up that little block of Qxford Stock from Prexy? l-ly? l'lums. And who owns the Grinnell College Clee Club and the Dramatic Club? And who has an option on Ryan 's Roof Garden? An- swer me that! ' Wayward. And, Lark, you know I am the man that controls the policies of the ladies of this institution. I work in conjunction with the Dean of Women and Flossie Orb, and all their holdings are subject to me. Besides, my family in Davenport-But hist! Someone comes. fThey retire to the haclfgroundj Enter Tray Trio dressed as Irish lassies, each hearing aloft a small Family Tree, Stella fCommanclinglyD. Come, sisters, tune the lay, And sing a song to the House of Tray. They do a dainty dance and sing: A CTUNE: BECAUSE YOU'RE YoU.J Not that we are sharks, friends, tho we're brilliant, too, Not out mad-cap larks, friends, make our claim on youg ,When you ask the reason, see our Family Tree, Brains we have and beauty, too, and ped-i-gree. Family is the chief thing in this mortal life, We can trace our line to Adam and his wife, If you're not blue-bloocled, have no ped-i-gree, You can 't play with us nor climb our Family Tree. As they finish, Fairy Flutz walks slowly across the stage, speaking earnestly to cz large boy: UNO, james, I really havenlt ten dollars that I can loan you. I'm awfully sorry-7' Stella. gAh! There goes a girl that has family! We really must cultivate her acquaintance, E But, sisters, we must hie away , To yon fair domicile of Tray. Exit.

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Rattlegate. Ah! Let us give three well-modulated Rahs for the ladies: Not too loud and mechanical, but rather soft and soulful. fyihey yellj Rah! Rah! Rah! Rah! Rah! Rah! Rah! Rah! Rah! The Ladies. I' Rattlegate. Now, our song, in the same charming manner. fiihey singj R-A-then an I-I! R-A-l-ll spells College boys Happy, joyful, free from thought of sorrow, Work we always postpone till tomorrow, Dances late, lucky fate, every Sunday night a date. College life for mine. The irusic modulates into The Merru Widow Waltz,' with a sweeping how each boy offers his arn to a maiden, and they waltz off the stage singing: Let us trip the light fantastic Till the cold grey dawn Calls us home to dream of summons 'Due from Prexy John. fThe stnclgholders come forward againj -Lark. I suppose that it's up to me to follow your example and state what my College holdings are. During this foolish frivolity I have iotted down a partial list of my interests, allow me to read it to you: CHP reacts from a small l700lf.j Sole owner of the Scarlet and Black and the Student Councilg controlling interest in the Athletic Association, the Faculty Circle. and the l9l0 Annual Boardg One hundred shares in the Y. M, C Aug Seventy- five shares in Instituteg Fifty shares in Unitg Che-eighth of all Edson I-louse policiesg extensive interests in the Bankrupt Veg Club and other Pure Food Associations. 7' ' I think these will compare quite favorably with any of your holdings. But listen, gentlemen: perhaps you are not aware of the fact that I am in absolute control of the Board of Trustees of this Institution. I dictate their policies. Perhaps, this will be more convincing than mere words. U-Ie talfes a large paper from his pocket and hands it to ther. Then scan ii' eagerlvj Now, is there any doubt as to who runs this College? Biler. Dog on it! I'Iums. Ryan has well said that- Lark flqcplacing the paperj. Gentlemen, vnu have forced me to show my hand. Now to make matters conclusively plain, I will add that in the 'future this College is going to be conducted accordirg to mp ideas and as I dictate. I am tired of your continual, petty opposition. If you refuse to follow my instructions I will ruin you and leave you without a single share. Gentlemen, it is up to you.