Grimsley High School - Whirligig Yearbook (Greensboro, NC)

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Report Of The Messengers To The Earth Delivered by Professor Tegelet at a Special Meeting of the Marsian Scientific Club Held at Rougestar, Canal Area, Mars, June 19, 1921 [NOTE—This issue of Scientific American commemorates the landing on October 2 , 1921 , of the first visitors from our sister planet , Mars. Only fifty years have elapsed since those illustrious navigators of the heavens , Professors Tegelet and Derd- lim, descended literally “from out of a clear sl(y ” upon a tobacco field down in Guilford County , North Carolina.] We are quite amused when we read oi the surprise and terror with which these two sci¬ entists were greeted by the people who saw them drop onto the Earth in their frail com pressed air cylinder. Yet we now think u not at all unusual to spend an occasional week-end on M ars. There are perhaps fifty or more trans-celestial cylinder lines in regu¬ lar operation on as many fields in the United States alone. Henry Ford, III, who has recently retired, has built an Italian villa on the sister planet and he has announced his intention of spending the winter there each year. Since there is practically no risk in mak¬ ing the trip, it is becoming more popular each day. The cylinders are adequately lined and the three score passengers are quite comfort able during the five or six hours required to make the air voyage. The recently patented landing device which utilizes the reaction principle through the application of com pressed air in a direction opposite the direc¬ tion of the ship’s course absolutely does away with the possibility of a too hurried approach to the planet. As the cylinder shoots out of the tube at the sending field it is traveling ar the rate of over one hundred miles an hour. I his speed decreases somewhat as the cylin¬ der moves forward, but as soon as the air begins to grow more rarified it gradually moves faster, since the attraction of the earth now grows less and less. Leaving the atmos¬ pheric field at the one hundred mile mark, the car literally shoots forward, assuming in space the incredible speed of forty thousand miles per hour. The speed increases, there being no atmosphere and consequently no re¬ sistance, and the cylinder moves forward without any force being applied to it. As it approaches the neighbor planet the air cush¬ ion about this body decreases its speed, and at ten miles above the surface the velocity has again dropped to one hundred miles per hour. Rele asing the giant compressed air tanks to¬ ward the descent to the planet, and dropping the great parachute at the rear, the cylinder slows down and settles to earth as if on an enormous spring. The process of emerging from the big bullet requires only about fifteen minutes, and since the atmospheric pressure on both planets is practically the same, no discomfort is experienced in making the change. The development of the Earth-Mars Transportation Company has been truly re¬ markable, and the two planets are now for all practical purposes much nearer each othei than America and Europe. This great enter¬ prise has been the chief agency in bringing about and fostering a better Pan-Earth- M arsianism, a relationship which each planet should strive to cultivate and perpetuate.— The Editor.

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J. S. LAW HORN CENTRAL CITY, ICY. M. A., B owling Green Business University Head of Commercial Department CAREY LINDSAY SPARTANBURG, S. C. A. B., Converse College French EVELYN MARTIN NEWMAN, GA. Georgia Normal and Industrial College Latin MARY MORROW WEST POINT, GA. A. B„ Marengo College Mathematics CHARLES PHILLIPS TRINITY, N. C. A. B., University of North Carolina English A. L. PURRINGTON, JR. SCOTLAND NECK, N. C. A. B., University of North Carolina English ETHEL ROACH ROCHESTER, N. Y. B. S., Lfniversity of Rochester M. S., Allegheny College Science NELLIE RUSSELL BREFOUR, N. C. A. B., Winthrop College English UBERTA SMITH BOWLING GREEN, ICY. B. S. S., Bowling Green Business University Shorthand 6 MRS. ANNIE S. SMITH BERKELEY, CAL. Barnard Training School University of California Librarian CARRIE STOUT GREENSBORO, N. C. B. S„ N. C. C. W. Biology FLOSSIE STOUT GREENSBORO, N. C. B. S., N. C. C. W. Biology JANE SUMMERELL CHINA GROVE, N. C. A. B., N. C. C. W. Latin LOIS TORBETT KINGSPORT, TENN. East Tennessee Normal School Shorthand and Typewriting W. A. WHITE GUILFORD COLLEGE, N. C. M. A., Hanerford College, Hanerford, Pa A. B., Guilford College Sociology LAURA WILEY GREENSBORO, N. C. Ph. B., Wooster College, Wooster, Ohio Mathematics RUBY WINE CULPEPER, VA. Randolph-Macon Woman ' s College University of Virginia Summer School Blaclcstone Institute Latin

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SCIENTIFIC AMERICAN THE REPORT Professor Tegelet: No doubt you thought last October when you assembled at Thor Field to watch Professor Derdlim and me hop off for the Earth that you were wit¬ nessing the passing from our planet of two fool scientists whose demise would be only a “happy riddance” to Mars. But, gentle¬ men, you have had no such luck, and aftei nine months here we are back with you at the old club! (Applause.) I hardly know how to begin. As the people of the American Republic on Earth would say, “We’ve been scouting around quite a bit” since we last met with you. Of course, you are quite familiar with the de¬ tails of the construction of the cylinder in which we made our flight, and with the prin¬ ciple involved in making it, since it was this body that planned and championed the un¬ dertaking. I was highly gratified to learn that Professor Stagazer and his fellow as tronomers of the Club succeeded in follow¬ ing with their intricately toned X-rayscope the movement of our cylinder in its path to Earth. When we considered the fart that the trip required eight hours, and that dur¬ ing this eight hours the Earth had turned one- third the way upon its axis in the X-rayscope and the cylinder out in space, it makes us pause in admiration of the instrument that can accomplish such a thing. The Professor tells me that he not only followed our move¬ ment in space, but also observed our landing, and though he was not positively certain, he was reasonably sure that we had made Earth safely. And such was the case. In private con¬ versation with you. Professor Dredlim and I have told you how we landed safely, thanks to the compressed air arrangement and the big parachute, in a field just on the northern edge of the little city of Greensboro, on the extreme eastern coast of the continent they call North America, situated in one of the stale divisions termed North Carolina. Our experiences from then on were so varied and so interesting that, I fear, I may digress from my subject, which, as you un¬ derstand, is a report on the educational sys¬ tems and institutions of the sister planet. Let it suffice for me to say, however, that, as they express it, we were “quite the rage” for a considerable time. They lodged us at a hos¬ telry called the O. Henry, named, I think, in honor of one of their prominent sons, who be¬ came an internationally known writer of short stories, one of their most popular literary forms. We managed to get along, and soon contrived a medium of communication with them. As soon as we had acquired their language, which required several weeks, they began to show us around and to acquaint us with their various institutions. The Rotary and Kiwanis Clubs, the Ladies’ Club, and other like organizations had us out to ban¬ quets, dinners, parties, and teas, where we were honor guests and sat, as is their custom, next the toastmaster. This man is now prac¬ tically a figurehead, obsolete they say, and these functions lack zest, and—I believe they say in Paris, one of the religious centers of Earth, “ze pep —due, they told me, to the activities of one called Hardhead—no, not that—Vol—Volstead—yes, that’s it. I re¬ member William Jennings Bryan told me that this man Volstead was one of his—er— Tombstone buddies. But coming to my subject, about which 1 have said nothing as yet, it will be necessary to explain that we found it imperative that we adopt some system by which to gather the information we were seeking. We had decided to divide our tasks, and it fell to me to study the school systems. The report I make to-night, then, is upon the subject of 8