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Page 17 text:
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' L . I-f-1ti5Ef'1lfi?5:1?1?fl9L-on 2 . 'fff 1 i '1 i gifs 1- in-mum ytrfzwaz - . , .- - i jf-mnvunnr' . ' N - 1 ,ti 'ig in ii: M - .gT'...,i1ff:i' ii iii' , . . '...L,1l.j Lg.. 1 . 'sgi phi ' 141133. ,.rt.:i1:g:-':'fg fi 1' 1: me Ti if, 1L....,.j...- . .gpg ' 1 4.1- :.g.i'i i I i- ligigit '. ..A'r '1 'd.. '.1YT.,LT -r fi V'-Af-4414i-gjjjfjj'-f jf'-r H W I ', ,J 4 His First Date OMETHING was wrong. Yes, radically wrong. jimmy McDonald had been upstairs exactly one hour which was most unusual for him as he never did believe in Wasting more than fifteen minutes on his personal appearance. It was the time of year when most young men are supposed to fall in love for at least stumble over itj, and judging by all indications, the magic season of Spring had struck a soft spot in the vital section of Jimmy's anatomy Ccommonly known as the heartj and was preparing to add one more victim to her wiles. It all happened one beautiful afternoon when Jimmy walked home from school with Lucille Wlhite, his idea of the perfect girl . Lucille was pretty, blond, and vivacious, and these together with her winning smile always won her friends wherever she went. Under the influence of those eyes jimmy had mustered enough courage to ask her for a date, and this explains why our hero was already forty-five minutes over his usual schedule completing his toilet. Poor jimmy was in a rather nervous state and was nearly dressed when to his dismay he discovered a rip in his Sunday and only presentable trousers. His mother was not home at the time so it was up to him to repair the damage or break the date. He spread the trousers on his lap and sewed the rip, but sewed them to his shirt tail and didn't know it. XYhen he went to put them on he ripped all the buttons off his only clean shirt. XYe will now charitably pass over jimmy's vocabulary as it would not look very well in print especially when he had to sew thirty minutes more before he could leave the room fully dressed. By this time it was 7:15 and jimmy was due at Lucille's at 7 230. Hurrying to the garage he got out his trusty 'ftin lizzie which he had previously washed and shined and started for the home of the perfect girl , with his heart hitting on six and the 15.2 horse power doing its upmost to hit on three. Un the way he met his chum, Bud Manning and gave him a lift Huptownn. Bud. a regular lady's man, was quite dumfounded on hearing where jimmy was bound and there upon began to render what he considered valuable advice, 'K free for nothing which he claimed was obtained first hand from past experiences. His parting words were, If you can't be good, be careful, to which sally jimmy muttered something that sounded like, 'ASo's your hairy ancestors. As he rounded the corner where Lucille lived he saw something in front of her house which caused a clammy feeling around his heart. It was a shining dark blue car which jimmy recognized at once as Percy Doolittle's new Lincoln Six. On going to the door he was cooly informed that Miss Lucille was busy and couldn't see him. XVho can adequately describe jimmy's feelings as he turned and savagely drove away in his li'l ol' Ford ? To add to his rage he had caught a glimpse of the sleek-haired sheik blissfully conversing with Lucille on-well, whatever sheiks talk about. And that is why to this day jimmy has never asked another fickle female for a date. i MORAL: Boys, beware of Springtime. Lomcrrrx LEONARD, '27, 105
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Page 16 text:
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i lllllln 5 I Y-3H'E'5'1 ti'f3f.:Qi1T5.1Ti1ii'5 'f?' TE 1f1lw+-+rEf'L'f . :f ' I f will g,,q3R3m,,,,i,,!,, ' .,,,,. - , ...Q -- .,.- . A ., ' ' ig T,l'EgT7'E:Lf't' T ,131 ig' iiiiiii' K' f'i37 'Mi337A ,L - - TWA, A- - M-'M gf- ff -- -'ff -7-4-7--'A--'f1'w:i :.T V. it ff'-fry iii, i I Jf A . ' 1 QW' Black Eyesi' LACK Eyes usually come as the result of the sudden impact of a person's fist on the aforesaid part of the anatomy. The acquiring of a black eye sometimes raises the question as to its source and presents a mystery which cannot be solved. This case is shown in the determining of the source of Bob Plessinger's ringer , Of course, since he is on the court squad, there is a possibility of an accidental collision. This fact is denied, however, by the owner which adds more uncertainty to the solution. Reports indicate that it might be the result of a manly, two-listed duel over the attentions of a fair maiden. Since Robert is known to bea cavalier of the latest variety this fact is not held against him. The remainder, it is certain, came as the direct effects of the gentle sport known as basketball. The honored ones in this group include Bob Boltin, Ella McGreevy, and H Red lYitters. Bob Boltin received his shinner in the Church League games. A very young lad on the opposing team is said to have handled him very roughly, even to the extent of stepping on poor Robert's head. During a practice game Ella is said to have been damaged in such a manner that it was necessary for her to break connections with her school activities for two days. Upon her return it was noticed that a lock of hair usually was found over the discolored organ of seeing. Red, so the story goes, seems to have gotten the worst of an insignihcant word contest that was terminated abruptly by a looker-on and settled at a later date by apologies for the beastly act. IVIORALZ Xliear specs and save your complexion. RICHARD BRANDOX, '27, The Borrower AM the fellow who is always borrowing. I will borrow anything. XYhy shouldn't I? If I borrow your pencil you can get another. I should worry. If you must go without, I don't and so it is nothing to me. It is much easier for me to borrowsand cheaper too. just as long as I can borrow I am going to. If you don't want me to borrow from you, you don't have to lend me anything. I don't care, I will find someone else who will. I never return anything: it is much easier for nie to let you buy another article than to get it myself. I would borrow your head if I could. That seems to be the only thing that I can't borrow. Long live the fellow who is always lending things! It makes life much easier for me. Rav D. Nicnorsox Nick 104
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Page 18 text:
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H-hw , A+++ .-.::z:w:.-:.':'r 'f'W 'M'-.f. f . - ' . mmumuumnmmwm ' .1 - I I . I Hymn mmIInnunumwmauulmlmlunvmwmunumrumnQ 'gE?'f,i 'F,,-gf'3'lfif'fv'1.3! '1's'. ' .L tr . nhwf.M1muiu: 'iu.im1lvlil1li'ui ' .m i ' ' , , f nnulm :moiumnnuuammhumiimmuuu .tm , mm, ,,.:,. lui ' ----, ' ulumlnu mmm nmulummmm lmumwnm lllllllllm lillffi. QMJW lj M . 'r'4I'1i'ifnIIl'H'ufvlIWnlli'llliFf1 ' bBlllHl -, .!1'fMi'1W5f33'1ll. ngnn 'mv' ,i '1'-r :,1.......,.,..ZL.s-'NZ mlm: u umm. nm 'I J' .. i.,...-. Y V Muir' , I mlnmlumumllllnlulll 'mmm-. Q I -x i ' ii On Crackers HERE are two hundred seventeen different kinds of crackers including Hre crackers. There are also two classes of nut crackers. One works on the principle of a second class lever Caccording to Mr. Menkel and the other works on lunatics. Many crackers are named after famous men. The Long- fellow Flake for instance, is named after the famous author because he liked this special kind for his coffee soup every morning for breakfast. There is a lazy man's cracker. This is called cheese it or the cheese cracker. Wlith this kind it is possible to eat cheese and crackers out of one hand because they are mixed. The most popular cracker in school Qaccording to statistics furnished by Superin- tendent VValtzj is the oyster puff. They are small and a dozen or so can be carried in a boy's vest pocket or in a girl's vanity case to stave off starvation during the third period assembly. A rapid increase in the sale of crackers was noticed in California. Two safe and sane cracker experts were put on this job to find the cause for this. It was discovered that a new bird called the zryzna was being imported from Japan and eats twice as many crackers as a Poll Parrot. Kinds of crackers hated are wet ones. The horse hates the cracker on the end of a whip. VVe know of a man in Kentucky who was so dumb he ate dog biscuits for two years and thought they were crackers. My advice to all Freshmen, Sophomores, and juniors is: eat more crackers and don't stay out so late at night. P. S. Don't let Miss Lindsey iind out you have a Pony. RED IYITTERS, '26. We Footballs AM a football and a much abused one too. just when I am enjoying life to the utmost, some brute comes along and gives me a kick which I am helpless to resist. He gets a crowd of rufhans and they manhandle me by falling upon me with all their weight. I am kicked through the dust and I sometimes land in a mud puddle. All the enjoyment I get in return for my martyrlike sufferings is when I sail majestically through the air. I am the property of the Greenville High School. IVhen we come home triumphantly from a game I am proud of our boys in spite of their brutality. Sometimes after all they do me a good turng for instance-when I am weak they fill me with air and I am then ready to go on my way, playing my part in knocking out teeth and cracking ribs. joe More 106
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