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Page 27 text:
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JOSEPH BONNEVILLE THEOPHILUS GRISWOLD HOWARD HEWITT Captain Captain Captain G. H. S. 1920 BASEBALL TEAM
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Page 26 text:
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16 THE EXPONENT —She’s candidating—for president. Oh—ha—I knew Miss Hamilton’s re¬ veries on “How Woman Would Sur¬ pass Mere Man,” would some day be realized. H. B. continues. Say, I think I’ve got a bite! Merle Wilcox. He will serve a life term at bell hop for Mr. Smith. Good Luck, Merle! Who? Marion White? Married? That’s good—Oh, ye gods—seven children, the Lord help us—What’s that? Gordon Wil¬ lard? (Say, this bloomin’ board is going to fast for me.) Gordon Wil¬ lard will run a barber shop under Miss Austin’s beauty parlor. Wow! a barber shop and a beauty parlor! Who? Marjorie McLaughlin? An inspector of Indian Motorcycles? Wow! D. T. continues. But Ouija, it’s getting late! Can’t you hurry up a bit? Tell me quickly about Atwood’s illustrious future. You can’t hurry it? Why not? Oh, he’s president of the Conway St. railway. Enilf sed. Then there’s Norma Foster. She’s what? She’s what? Spending her ' life hunting? For what? A code to Freshman Short-hand. What ails you, Ouija! Are you crazy, or have you just naturally gone mad? You’re trying to show me something? Oh, I get you. Howy’s idea of a taxy-driver. Steady there! I’m waiting for a message on Bonnie, now. Fishing— what?—for shiners in Lake Michi¬ gan. Theresa Barker? Lecturing on hy¬ giene? In what branch?—“How— to get—fat—on one meal per day!” H. B. concludes. Ouija, what about my fellow prophetess? Here—here—don’t— there now it’s busted. Well, I can do it myself just as well. I see as time flies on apace. Dot Taylor’s round and smiling face (pretty good, what?) The crowded city she will seek, find some poor fel¬ low, sad and meek; him the piano she will teach. (I mean she’ll teach him to play). Him the piano she will teach ’till he can’t hear the six o’clock whistle screech. But soon to Shelburne she’ll return to pound the chubby butter chum: with bash¬ ful lovers at her call; Norman, Francis, Dick and all. She can’t de¬ cide with whom she’ll roam so she’ll tell them all to run along home. She’ll live in happy spinsterhood and —and—aw, I can’t say it in poetry but anyhow, she’s going to be an old. maid, and teach the kids how to bang on a piano and everything. D. T. concludes. Now, Ouija, I’ve almost finished with you! But before I go, I must learn something about Harold Bea¬ man. (Ouija gives a terrific leap! Jumps olf Ouija-board.) Well, if that’s your state of mind. I’ll have to prophecy all myself: Somewhere in the distant hills, I see a spark of red. Oh, it can be nothing else. Than Harold Beaman’s head. It shines so bright on that great height. It fairly dims the stars: It sends out streaks of golden light. That truly rival Mars. You see, on leaving Greenfield High, His bashful state of mind Forced him to wander far away From all the female kind. And so he chose a mountain peak. In some secluded nook. And there the natives of the place. Were teaching him to cook. His state of health’s so weak, they said. He couldn’t stand the strain, And so they sent him back to town With dancing on the brain. He tried his luck at clogging first On Mr. Lawler’s stage But if I told you all of that, I’d waste another page. Since then however, he has changed At such an awful gait. You’d hardly know him now at all Thru miracles of late. You see. He’s now been wiled away. By a Bell’s perfect chimes. And if I told you of her power ’Twould take two hundred lines. You never see him smoking now; You never hear him swear; He never drives his car too fast He never tears his hair.
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