Green Mountain College - Peaks Yearbook (Poultney, VT)

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Said the dean: Sir, the penalty for the first offense is 50 cents, for the second 82.50, for the third 385, and so on up to 315. In solemn tones the trespasser inquired: How much would a season ticket cost? 1 At a certain college in the northwest of New England the male students were not permitted to visit the resident lady boarders. One day a student was caught in the act of doing so and was court-nlartialed. 1 To spite Mamie, his girl friend, Leo married her mother, making Mamie his daughter. However Leo's old man married Mamie and then Leo's daughter became his motherg his father became his son-in-lawg his wife was his grandmother. Sud- denly Leo awoke to the fact that he was his own grandfather and now he wants to know what relation his new born son is to the offspring daughter of Mamie and his old man. PUTTING THINGS IN THEIR PLACES An adult-One who has stopped growing except in the middle. A bachelor-A man who has lost the opportunity of making some woman miser- able. College-bred--A four-year loaf, made with father's dough. Committee-A group of men who keep minutes and waste hours. Darwin-The man who made a monkey out of Adam. Echo-The only thing that ever cheated a woman out of the last word. Eskimos-God's frozen people. Gossiping-A keen sense of rumor. Hash-The substance of things hoped for, the evidence of things which have been. Home-The place where you are treated best and grumble the most. Light housekeeping-One canned thing after another. Matrimonial bureau-A bureau with a lot of drawers jammed full of a woman's clothes and one u1an's necktie. Pedestrian-A man who has two cars, a wife and a daughter. Platinum blonde-One who dyed by her own hand. Relatives-Inherited critics. Spinal column-A thing where your head sits on one end and you sit on the other. Vegetable soup-Liquid hash. -Ex-Gov. POLLARD.

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Jokes Judge fto couplej: Caught on a park bench, eh? Wlhat are your names He: Ben Petten. She: Anne Howe. 1 Bob Anderson: I want to know how long girls should be courted? Earl Dunckelz- The same as short ones. 1 Father ltlurray: lVhen I was a young man girls knew how to blush. Ruthie: lvhat was it you used to say to them? 1 Marion Spaulding Cfollowing rapid-fire dictationj: Now Miss Clapp, what ic you say between Dear Sir and Sincerely yours'? 1 Professor 'winzenburgerx Now, Jack, if I lay three eggs and five eggs here how many eggs will I have? Jack VVuldron: I don't believe you can do it, Prof. 1 Betty Bogue: I wish I had talent: I'm just itching to write. lVally Benson: lvell, why don't you sit down and try scratching a little 1 Dean Akerstrom: Congdon, you can't sleep in my class. Doc.: I guess you're right, Dean, but I could if you clidn't talk so loud 1 Jim Lincoln: Pop, if you give me live bucks I'll tell you what the iceman said to Mom. Pop Call excitedj: O.K., Jim, here's your five. Jim: He said, Do you want any ice today, lady F 7 Moon: I don't like riding with you. You're too darned reckless. Bob: That's right. lVe've had some pretty tight squeezes, haven't we?

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