Grayville High School - Gusher Yearbook (Grayville, IL)

Page 13 text:

SENIOR PROPHECY One summer evening in the year 1965, the people of the United States, including the President, gathered around their television sets ready to listen to their regular evening program. And now if you listen closely you can hear the announcer say — “Ladies and Gentlemen, this is Station XYZ bringing to you your favorite program, of proving that ‘People Are Nuts’, by reviewing for you our latest report on the graduating class of 1946 of Grayville Community High School. This program is brought to you through the courtesy of the Green network.” Gene Arnold, always the class leader, was first to be interviewed. In describing his flea corporation in North Africa, he assured us that it would rid our houses of mothers-in-law. Mary Edd Aston, who really had something to shout about, told us about her children. Time prevented her from telling about all of them but she covered a large percentage. Charles Blackford, the Nobel Prize winner of 1964, read to us his latest poem, “Hanging From a Star”, which was simply out of this world. Since Minnie Boling had just departed in her rocket ship for a week-end trip to the moon, we were unable to contact her but were told that she plans to establish a “Green Cheese Restaurant” there in the near future.. Norma Carter, the nation-wide Oats manufacturer, is doing fine. Surely everyone has heard of Carter’s Oats. Betty Coe, who was always sort of windy, now owns a balloon factory north cf Cowling. Her business is expanding constantly. Aubra Driggers, after his discharge from the navy, discovered a gold deposit near the banks of the Wabash which, unfortunately, someone else had deposited. Erma Dyer has just applied for a patent on an electric tooth brush. It not only cleans your teeth but fills the cavities, massages your gums, and pulls all the loose teeth. Doris Daugherty, the world’s champion wrestler, is still undefeated. Kelly Gross, the penny pincher, is making a nation-wide tour giving lectures on “How to Live on Two Cents a Day.” Dolores Elliott has just reached the states after circling the world for the second time in a row boat. What some women won’t do for a man! Margie Girot, after finishing her latest picture “The Return of The Moron,” is spending a much needed vacation in Europe. Jerry Gibson has just discovered a military use for doughnut holes. This is indeed a great asset to the United States. He is kept in solitary confinement so we won’t lose the secret. Peggy Haas, chief executive of the Mahogany Gum Corporation, reports her business is growing like a bubble. Helen Hailey, after becoming acquainted with the grocery business, decided to try it herself. She now has chain stores all over America, including Calvin. Pat Hayden, whose greatest ambition was to become a musician, has accepted a life-long contract with Spike Jones. Vonda Hortin, head of the Illinois State Department of Agriculture, has at last,, after many years of research, discovered how to get blood from a turnip. The subway between the assembly and the pool hall is now operated by Bob Kotulek.

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SENIOR PROPHECY (Continued) George Knight and Hershey Satterfield, owners of the French Creek Freight Corporation, have extended their route. They now operate the entire length of French Creek. Ladies and Gentlemen, may we interrupt this program to bring you the most outstanding news of the day. Doris Madden, the girl who wakes you up every morning by singing those dreadful commercials, has just had an accident. While using the Dyer Tooth Brush something went wrong with the wiring and now she is looking for another set of teeth. All public schools are now run under the Malone system, instituted by Clella Malone. Under this system any three days out of a week is sufficient to make a passing grade. Marilou McCurdy, the world’s famous artist, has just finished painting her masterpiece, “The Last Straw.” Gladys Newman, owner of the Skyview Taxi Company which operate only on moonlight nights, is making large profits from romantic couples. t Ken Pritchett, head of the girl’s Athletic Department, University of Crossville, reports his girls’ basketball team is in mighty fine shape. Betty Reese was selected “Miss Illinois of 1964” by a large majority. There was a total of one participating in the contest. Reese College, operated by Jackie Reese, is a school for runts. She has developed a secret formula for those who wish to attain a higher level. Jo Ann Robinson, who at an early age strained one of her vocal chords and was forced to quit the opera, is now taking care of her worthless husband with her savings. If you want everlasting strength and power, call or write to “The Samson Body Developing Company,” owned and operated by Phil Samson. He guarantees his customers that their muscles will be bulging like his within six weeks. And this, Ladies and Gentlemen, winds up our program for today. But don’t forget to tune in tomorrow and we will again attempt to prove to you that “People Are Nuts.” CLASS OF ’46 We’re not so big, we’re not so brave, And not so very strong; Yet through four years of toil and strife We’ve managed to get along. We’ve had our ups, and had our downs, We took them all in stride; The only weapons that we chose Were book and pencil by our side. We’re not so big, we’re not so brave, And, yet we have no kicks; We are proud to be a member . Of the “CLASS OF FORTY-SIX.” — Kelly Gross.