Grants Pass High School - Toka Yearbook (Grants Pass, OR)

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19 2 3 29 Thais Kasdorff has won recent world fame as a piano Murderess, thusly achieving a diploma from the world’s greatest teacher in the homocidal art, Frederick Eisman. In the center of the floor of a crowded cabaret I see Jack Murphy and his famous dancing partner La Merle Lucille. They are doing a fast and furious number, one of their own creations for which they are famous. Elizabeth Bunch, now Mrs. Reverend Roy Clark, has recently returned from a trip to South America, where she was engaged to teach the natives to use ‘‘slang’’ properly. Mrs. Boyd Robinson, formerly Virginia Green, has recently obtained a divorce on the grounds that he beat their Baby-Grand. Ruth Ross, star of the Zeigfield Follies of 1935 and her husband, Mike Wilcox, who is directing the company, are taking a much needed rest near Wonder, Oregon. Charles Ringuette our old Radio fan is proprietor of a confectionery store in Dimmick. He secures his ice cream by locking his cows in the cold storage plant, this causing the cows to give ice cream. He says that this works, but he cannot set a hen on a door knob and hatch a house and lot. Mr. Gale Swinden, who is now residing in Chicago, has just become famous by the publication of his latest book entitled “How to Move Fast . In the contents of this book Mr. Swinden tells of the advantages of lightning quickness, his experiences in the Grants Pass High School being used as examples. Anna Neilson and Louise Hammerbacher have formed a partnership in New York for the purpose of manufacturing wire fencing by a new process. 1 his process consists of taking a piece of sheet iron and punching holes in it. Ethel Wardrip and Ellen Lloyd have published a book which they wrote together, the title being “Romantic Moments of My Life”. The book is in great demand by the younger generation of the country. I he crystal is blank now so I must have recalled them all. They all seem to be happy and doing well and I am glad. Donley Barnes Burr Johnson Otis Billick Owen Hogan Leland Goff Elizabeth Bunch Boyd Robinson Charles Ringuette Argil Pruitt Virginia Law 1 hais Kasdorff Dama McKinstry Evelyn Anderson Ellen Lloyd Nelly Leet Gail Swinden Mike Wilcox

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28 THE T O K A Loren George and Emerson Wilken have a formula by which they are going to prove that sawdust can be made into as nutritious a breakfast food as any now on the market. The only difficulty now is to find a victim to try it on. Virginia Law and Argil Pruitt have decided never to marry. They have put their savings together and started for “No Man’s Land”. Don Megargle has now quite overcome his fear of going to college, and although he is getting along in years he has decided to start. LeRoy Stephens has taken over the Woodyard but is now selling electric eels by the tier. He has found that this is much more practical than the usual method of heating stoves. Henry Houck is captain of the largest submarine in the world and has introduced the method of playing appropriate tunes on his harmonica rather than calling his orders. He says this method is proving very successful. Owen Hogan and Nellie Leet were recently captured by the cannibals. Nellie is to be used for the feast of the King’s birthday, but Owen’s life will be spared a while yet, as he must be fattened before eating. Jul ia Hendrickson has recently been appointed poet laureate of America, her latest book being: “I’m going back to Moonshine Nell, I love her still.” Helene Story is travelling with Ellison-White Chautauqua lecturing on “The Effects of Gum Chewing on the Jaws”. Leland Goff is very busy propagating his new plant which he guarantees will reduce the fat man to normal, in due time if taken as directed. He says next year he is going to raise umbrellas as he believes them to be a profitable product. Rev. Rodney Britten while doing missionary work in the Hawaiian Islands tried to convert the famous Hulu Hulu dancer. Merle Cart. He did his best—and so did she, now they have returned to the U. S. and started housekeeping together. M iss Margaret Hair has just edited a new book which will prove helpful to hostesses. The title is “A Quick Way to Count the Silverware After the Guests Have Departed. I now see Allan Lacey travelling with the Chautauqua Circuit. He is engaged in raising the tent and to save himself a lot of labor has recently taken to raising it with yeast foam. Ah! And here is our old friend Hazel Hiatt, a drummer in Sousa’s band and she is so fast she beats time.

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30 THE TOKA CLASS WILL Let it be known to all persons by the following presents: I hat we, the graduating class of Grants Pass High School in the city of Grants Pass, County of Josephine, State of Oregon, United States of America, in the year of cur Lord one thousand nine hundred and twenty-three, being possessed of sane mind and acting under no undue influence do declare, ordain and devise this Last Will and Testament allotting to the faculty and various members of the school special talents which we do deem will be to their great benefit. First: To the Old School we leave our indomitable spirit, and lasting enthusiasm. Second: To the members of the School Board we bequeath a large vol- ume entitled “How to Reduce the Number of School Holidays.” Third: To Mr. Mishler we bequeath one automatic extractor by which he may obtain all the lost, strayed or stolen books with which to enrich the classical fund. Fourth: To Mr. Hepp we bequeath one jar of “Stay-comb which will undoubtedly be appreciated. Fifth: We do bequeath to Mrs. Stearns, our beloved advisor, a whole- hearted. unselfish, and unanimous vote of appreciation for her devoted attention during our four years of high school life. Sixth: To Mrs. Gunnell we do leave a steel hammer with which to crack a smile on the faces of the chorus classes, while singing opera ditties. Seventh: To Mr. Wolf we do bequeath the power to temporarily para- lyze the muscles without causing inactivity of the brain, of his student assemblies, thereby maintaining the desired atmosphere of peace and tranquility. Also the admiration of the feminine majority which will enable him to sustain his self-conceit. Eighth: To the Misses Cramer, Laird and Peat we bequeath three pairs of roller skates to be used every noon so they may obtain more speed when going for lunch. Ninth: To Miss Horning we bequeath an electric thriller to be used on the end of a fish pole for keeping order in the assembly. Tenth: To Miss Robinson we bequeath the experiment of turning the vacuums of the Freshies into brains. Eleventh: To Miss Hooper we bequeath a sufficient supply of ten-cent diamonds to be distributed among her would-be admirers. Twelfth: ToM iss Lighter we do bequeath a patent vanity case equipped with shower baths and electric lights, which we hope she will appreciate.