Grants Pass High School - Toka Yearbook (Grants Pass, OR)

Page 32 text:

28 THE T O K A Loren George and Emerson Wilken have a formula by which they are going to prove that sawdust can be made into as nutritious a breakfast food as any now on the market. The only difficulty now is to find a victim to try it on. Virginia Law and Argil Pruitt have decided never to marry. They have put their savings together and started for “No Man’s Land”. Don Megargle has now quite overcome his fear of going to college, and although he is getting along in years he has decided to start. LeRoy Stephens has taken over the Woodyard but is now selling electric eels by the tier. He has found that this is much more practical than the usual method of heating stoves. Henry Houck is captain of the largest submarine in the world and has introduced the method of playing appropriate tunes on his harmonica rather than calling his orders. He says this method is proving very successful. Owen Hogan and Nellie Leet were recently captured by the cannibals. Nellie is to be used for the feast of the King’s birthday, but Owen’s life will be spared a while yet, as he must be fattened before eating. Jul ia Hendrickson has recently been appointed poet laureate of America, her latest book being: “I’m going back to Moonshine Nell, I love her still.” Helene Story is travelling with Ellison-White Chautauqua lecturing on “The Effects of Gum Chewing on the Jaws”. Leland Goff is very busy propagating his new plant which he guarantees will reduce the fat man to normal, in due time if taken as directed. He says next year he is going to raise umbrellas as he believes them to be a profitable product. Rev. Rodney Britten while doing missionary work in the Hawaiian Islands tried to convert the famous Hulu Hulu dancer. Merle Cart. He did his best—and so did she, now they have returned to the U. S. and started housekeeping together. M iss Margaret Hair has just edited a new book which will prove helpful to hostesses. The title is “A Quick Way to Count the Silverware After the Guests Have Departed. I now see Allan Lacey travelling with the Chautauqua Circuit. He is engaged in raising the tent and to save himself a lot of labor has recently taken to raising it with yeast foam. Ah! And here is our old friend Hazel Hiatt, a drummer in Sousa’s band and she is so fast she beats time.

Page 31 text:

19 2 3 27 Dama McKinstry, always noted for her wit, is now joke editor of the Merlin 1 imes. Merlin is quite a thriving city and the I imes is published twice a week. It was only through Dama’s great ability that she secured this position. She rightly deserves all the notice she is receiving. I he back to nature bug has bit Mildred Lowdon. I see her galloping through the woods now with a butterfly net in one hand and a salt shaker in the other. Myrtle Lamphear pinched for speeding. It seems since she has been operating her own garage and owns several racing cars, she can’t resist a burst of speed now and then. Evelyn Anderson has established a home for animals who have passed their useful stages. I see her now trying to teach a worn out horse to use a pair of crutches as gracefully as possible. Well, Mora I olin, who would have thought it? I see her dressed in flowing robes doing a classical dance with a group of nymphs. She is a member of the Merry Morning Dancers”, successors to the Marion Morgan dancers. Minnie and Florence Morse have resolved never to part. They have taken up a homestead on Mt. Baldy and look down on the rest of the world. Louis Missall is another member of the class to follow the show business. He is traveling with the “Lotta Bunk Circus” and has a responsible position. One of his duties is to bathe the snakes each morning and see that they are made comfortable for the day. Orville McCarthy has just returned from a trip around the United States via Maude the mule. It seems he did it to prove mules aren’t stubborn, but useful and intelligent animals. From the appearance of Orville I'm not sure he has proven his point. 1 he mule isn’t in sight. Herman Farra has opened a livery stable and blacksmith shop in the crowded business district of Three Pines. He believes that people are returning to their first love, the horse. When they do, business will be good and in the meantime he has something to look forward to. Charles Hillis is recognized the country over as a famous writer of popular songs. His latest hit, “Iona Ford Can”, is especially recommended for putting the baby to sleep. Otis Billick has a responsible position with the new odorless limburger cheese company. His duties are to extract the odor and bottle it. This is sold along with the cheese to those who say the cheese loses its charm without the odor.

Page 33 text:

19 2 3 29 Thais Kasdorff has won recent world fame as a piano Murderess, thusly achieving a diploma from the world’s greatest teacher in the homocidal art, Frederick Eisman. In the center of the floor of a crowded cabaret I see Jack Murphy and his famous dancing partner La Merle Lucille. They are doing a fast and furious number, one of their own creations for which they are famous. Elizabeth Bunch, now Mrs. Reverend Roy Clark, has recently returned from a trip to South America, where she was engaged to teach the natives to use ‘‘slang’’ properly. Mrs. Boyd Robinson, formerly Virginia Green, has recently obtained a divorce on the grounds that he beat their Baby-Grand. Ruth Ross, star of the Zeigfield Follies of 1935 and her husband, Mike Wilcox, who is directing the company, are taking a much needed rest near Wonder, Oregon. Charles Ringuette our old Radio fan is proprietor of a confectionery store in Dimmick. He secures his ice cream by locking his cows in the cold storage plant, this causing the cows to give ice cream. He says that this works, but he cannot set a hen on a door knob and hatch a house and lot. Mr. Gale Swinden, who is now residing in Chicago, has just become famous by the publication of his latest book entitled “How to Move Fast . In the contents of this book Mr. Swinden tells of the advantages of lightning quickness, his experiences in the Grants Pass High School being used as examples. Anna Neilson and Louise Hammerbacher have formed a partnership in New York for the purpose of manufacturing wire fencing by a new process. 1 his process consists of taking a piece of sheet iron and punching holes in it. Ethel Wardrip and Ellen Lloyd have published a book which they wrote together, the title being “Romantic Moments of My Life”. The book is in great demand by the younger generation of the country. I he crystal is blank now so I must have recalled them all. They all seem to be happy and doing well and I am glad. Donley Barnes Burr Johnson Otis Billick Owen Hogan Leland Goff Elizabeth Bunch Boyd Robinson Charles Ringuette Argil Pruitt Virginia Law 1 hais Kasdorff Dama McKinstry Evelyn Anderson Ellen Lloyd Nelly Leet Gail Swinden Mike Wilcox