Grants Pass High School - Toka Yearbook (Grants Pass, OR)

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Albert Randle has now completed the art of blowing smoke through his ears, without inhaling it. and is fast becoming famous for this wonderful feat. William Barrow has completed an invention which will melt the ice off of Iceland, thereby enabling the inhabitants to see what the earth is like. Glenn McAllister, who owns the famous stable of horses at Merlin has another victory. Old Bird Seed has won the race from Portland to Frisco. Time 3 years. Mr. McAllister gives the credit for this victory to his able jockey, Velma Everton. People noticed, as the old sawdust horse heaved into sight, that the little runt of a jockey was urging her quadruped to its utmost speed. The horse was going so fast it appeared in view Feb. I Oth and disappeared over the bridge at noon Feb. 20th. at break-neck speed. Cleo Roberts is making a tour of the U. S„ speaking in all the cities on How to get a kick out of a Ford”. hrank Hillis has written a book on How to Make Love .— Price 10c. Mr. Hillis says that although his book is worth a great deal more, he wants to help floundering high school boys in the field, as he knows, from experience, how badly they need this manuscript. Ish is now Dr. Harold Kent Isham. of New York City. He has lately discovered how to pull one tooth without loosening all the others. Leonard Williams and Malden LeRoy have gone into business together, having invented a one wheeled car which runs on lemon juice.—A great saving to the ranchers in California. We found out that Stephen Woodin was going to run for President in the next election, on the Anti-Gum Platform. His election is practically insured, as all the school teachers will doubtless vote for him. LeRoy Heston has established a patent medicine factory which is the only one of its kind in the U. S. It's chief product is a wonderful preparation called “The Magical Restorer of Eyebrows . Hon. Landa Gillette has just made Mrs. Gunnell a visit. He is Chief Justice of the Supreme Court of the U. S., and is still unmarried, having since his high school days, lived up to the motto of, Fuss ’em all. but go with none . Ellen Flint is married and happy in a little home in Eugene, and as the little verse says, At housekeeping she is quite smart, Tho’ engineering is her ART. Emma Alberts has made a wonderful stride in the advancement of schoolroom psychology. Her achievement is how to quiet children while injecting knowledge with a siphon. Elsa Doerner, after many years, has finally found a publisher for her wonderful poem, Elegy on a Rail Fence , a beautiful pastoral romance along the waysides and byways. Yvonne Smith, the famous writer, has finished her third book, entitled, “Why Wear It? You Don’t Need It. Her other books are. “The Trials and Tribulations of Myron C. Gaston and “The Evolution of a Fluttering Heart , both much read by discriminating people all over the world. Dorothy Stidham, the famous criminologist, of New York City, has at last 2

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PROPHECY OF THE CLASS OF 1921. WE were walking along at the greatest resort on the western coast, located at the Wilderville swing, and now owned by Madame DeFoe, formerly Miss Flazel Barr. We strolled along, clothed in the thought of how. ten years before, we had come to this very spot, with the spell of the wilds about us—the wilds that knew no harness. Above us soared the buzzard while in front of us stretched the waters of the great Applegate, which gleamed and sparkled in the fast setting sun and reflected back the phantom shapes of the pathless forest on yonder shore, inhabited only by Robinson cattle and the carmverous digger. Far in the distance could be heard the terrible shrieks of the locomotive as they shot over the rails of the C. O. C. Suddenly a light beamed upon us as if the sun had burst forth in all its splendor. Half dazed, half stupified and hardly able to contain ourselves as we strove to overcome the stupendousness of the shock. Could we believe our eyes? No.—Yes.—Is it not was? Can it not were? Yes, it was Mrs. Gunnell, the Gibraltar of G. P. H. S., and the advisor of the Class of '21. ‘Twas the rampart of De Foe’s mansion that she was standing on, as beautiful as the dawn of evening. After the attack of greetings we swept her to a seat and were soon talking of our friends in that good old Class of 21. We soon discovered that we were not talking to the teacher of Shakespearian plays but to the retired dictator of the modern drama. The conversation soon drifted to the events of our school days and to the whereabouts of our former classmates. Between the three of us we could locate everyone except Floyd Parsons and Ernest Calhoun. Mr. Calhoun, the world s famous bugologist. once said. Ah, woe is me. I-ah-never could-ah-understand-ah-these women. Why do they-ah-treat me so? But in the act of pursuing a rare specimen of the pink wood rat, on an unknown island in the South Seas, he was vamped by a forest maiden and has never since been seen. 1 said we do not know where Floyd Parsons is. 1 will explain myself. Four years ago Myrtle Ford murdered him for breach of promise. She fled to the Philippines but was brought back to the Lmted States and sent to San Quentin for life. So, of course, we aren’t quite sure where Floyd is. Frieda Gebers has just embarked upon her third matrimonial venture. This time it is with the author of “Greasy stories, who lives in Nevada. Harold Lundburg has lost his interest in the First National Bank and has gone to Arizona where he owns a bank—a sand bank. Mrs. Harry Young, formerly Miss Maryl Muir, who married the seventeenth son of Brigham Young, is now shadow dancing for the Folliesand is undisputed leader in this profession. Remoh Tryer and Gretchen Clemens, being exceedingly bored with worldly things, including men. have finally yielded to the call of the wild and taken up a homestead on the headwaters of Jones Creek. They say that this is the ideal life. 28

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proved her favorite theory, that all crooks are not crooked, despite their warped brains and unusual working hours. Pauline Meade is traveling all over the country, selling her latest invention, the wireless hairpin; which has proved very successful, being used by all fastidious women who really want the best. Hortense Hough, the favorite pupil of Paderewski, is playing for all the excrown heads of Europe, and is said to be a special favorite of the former Kaiser. Marie Kerley is also a noted musician, having just accepted the position of leading soprano in the Cathedral of Paris. She is drawing an immense crowd. Amelia Sauer and Isabelle Rengstorff are sheep herders living with their flock in the heart of Africa. Miss Sauer was bucked off a few days ago by her pet camel, and seriously injured. She is being cared for by Lillian Keyte, who is stationed, as a trained nurse, near the Sauer-Rengstorff ranch. And about Cudrun Anderson. We would never recognize her. Alas, poor child, she is traveling with Barnum Bailey’s circus, as the fat lady, weighing five hundred and ninety five (595) pounds. The Dale Boys, Expert Whittlers, who have just purchased new knives are busily engaged in whittling out tooth picks in a New York cafe. They are making an immense fortune and expect to retire soon. Mrs. Gunnell has received several letters from former members of our class telling what they are doing. She read these to us. The first was as follows:— Santa Rosa, California. May 10. 1931. Dear Laury:- Guess I'll have to write and tell you what this kid is doing. I am sure having a heck of a time. I am tight rope walker in Barnum Bailey's Circus. Gee, some class, eh? What’s the rest of the old gang doing? Yours till I fall off the rope. S'long, Zell Robinson. Dear Mrs. Gunnell:- Boston, Mass. May 12. 1931. It gives me great pleasure to tell you that I am considered champion roller skater of the U. S. Next month, with a group of girls, I will skate across the continent on the National Highway, which, as you probably know was finished in 1928. Hoping to see you while in the West, I am. Yours truly, Josephine Holland Dear Mrs. Gunnell:- Glanroa, South Sea Islands. As these years have rolled by, many queer things have happened to me. While on my sixth trip around the world I happened on this island inhabited by cannibals. Here I met and wedded the fair daughter of the king of the island. She is the light of my life. 1 am now living in the royal hut and some day expect to be king. I am well and happy. Hoping you are the same, I remain as ever, Chas. Hollowell