Grant Hospital School of Nursing - Beacon Yearbook (Columbus, OH)

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he Q' ------- ' '- - '- HA Ham-S All the people possible climbed on the house- boat Ham Sandwich for a round trip on the Alimentary Canal. The twins, Oleo and Margarine, sought refuge between their parents, Mr. and Mrs. Bread, whose watchful eyes were as protecting wings over their darlings. Son Ham was in charge of a nurse- maid, Miss Lettuce, who was having a ditticult time trying to keep the sunburned Ham from fighting with the Captain's favorite hoatman. Sailor Mustard. Captain Milk was outstanding among the remaining passengers. His white flow- ing locks waved to and fro like glistening rivulets over his shining eyes. The captain stood at the prow, and gently forced his end of the boat into the unknown canal. VVhcn the boat was on its way, and when the rudder was put in service, Mr. and Mrs. Bread gathered their young close between them and sliently awaited their new exploration. It would not be interesting to give a general report of the journey, but each person as he saw it will give his description of it. First, Captain Milk will give his opinion of the miraculous trip. Captain Milk: Entered the Oral Gulf at 45 de- grees longitude at 8 o'clock, in the presence of foggy weather. Fought against sea sprays when nearing the further end of the Gulf. No mis- fortunes happened except that I was badly sprayed by the opposing Salivary Currents. Not yet recovered from the wetting, I was dashed off my feet and was hurled headlong into space- this appeared later to be a dark rugged passage- way-Esophagus. Only a. bit bruised I was rushed into a sea of whirlpools where I can truly say I lost all my senses. A large vicious fish-Rennin -attacked me and badly mussed my Howing locks and spotless white suit. After being tossed about, and frequently attacked by Rennin, I was forced into a. small passageway QSma.ll Intestinesj where a true pcristaltic movement pushed me through differently colored water, and badly mangled my composure. I was conscious of a suction which deprived me oi my outer Casein clothing. The passageway became larger, the suction stopped, and I found myself to be again on my feet. Mr. and Mrs. Bread at the very beginning of 8 U C O Tl llllllllllllllllllllllll unsung andwich Rideu their journey were torn from their odspring. The Salivary Currents rushed madly upon them in the Oral Gulf, and a great storm brewed around them. Great boulders from above and below fell in upon them. Their clothes became drenched, and by the time they had entered upon their journey through the dark passageway they had given themselves to Fate. In the Oral Gulf they had contracted colds from the great exposure. They developed Dextrin, and from continued exposure they contracted a severe case of Glucose-which was prevalent during the remainder of the jour- ney. In the great sea of whirlpools the Gastric Winds played havoc with their composure, and hy the time they entered the Dark Passagcway where the many different colored waters were, and where the great fishes Amylase lived, husband and wife were cold with fear. They experienced the same suction and peristaltic movement as in the case of Captain Milk. Ncuring the cud of their jour- ney their nerves were so on end that insanity was evident, and after that trip they were never the same. Miss Lettuce, true to her profession, stayed hy young Ham's side all during the journey. To add to the romance of the journey Sailor Mus- tard was always near by. ln spite of Ham's two protectors he was treated the most cruelly' of all. In the Oral Gulf, a. storm twice as hard as the preceding storms raged, and large stones fell upon him continuously until poor Ham was araggcdy- boy. The ,Salivary Current rushed up stream with a velocity that left lulam to the mercy of the gods. In the sea of whirlpools the Gastric iVinds para- lyzed his limbs to the state of Peptones. It was certainly a slow wretched death. Forced down into the same small passageway as the others- great fishes roamed menacingly about but none took advantage of the poor boy except Erepsin of the Succus Entericus Race. I-Iam was deprived of the use of his whole body. By a Pcristaltic Movement of unknown character he was pushed through a vacuum into an air space. The journey was a hazardous one-it' not an unsuccessful one-to the passengers of the Ham Sandwich but long may their names be preserved in gold on the records of Exploration and Fame. -'l'nEv,x liatmioalcnxlzn. 9QfcDC5PQG5QD Sixty-eight

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he eacon Ralph Keyes Ralph Keyes, if you please, had Potts Disease, Ur 'l'. B. of the spine, So he was hrouglit to Hospital Grunt For good care and sunshine. Now ltalplfs condition was critical, He could not do a thiugrg He could not read, he could not eat, He could not sit, or anything. His third backbone protruded, Like u chimney on a shack, Uh., he was 21, wreck I tell you, With three hed sores on his hack. So Dr. Steinfeld fixed him up, And laid him on a lied, Where he was cared for daily, but 'Twus long: before he could he fed. Complete recovery came at last, It took more than a year, Ralph sure can tell his story- He knows all the nurses here. He's gone home now-but cannot forget, Ralph writes-he misses his nurses yet. x I 'mf'--..., To My Nurse That dreadful hour so desolate, lllhen life was dark, and death was late To tear me from that awful pain. I needed friends and when none came- I called you. VVhen memories tugged at my heart Of pleasures pastg of friends apartg I was sleepless and needed cheer, I called the friend I knew was near- I called you. The time has flowng my health has come, My pain is o'er, my sentence doneg Before me shines a sacred gem, The memory of you smiling when- I called you. Sixty-seven

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