Grand Rapids Community College - Olympian Yearbook (Grand Rapids, MI)

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Close-ups Each week Slime invades the sacred environs of private livesv to gain intimate sketches of the personalities that make up our school. Remem- ber, Slime was not responsible for their upbring- ing or does not necessarily endorse any of their personal antics or opinions recounted in this screwball's corner. Being enterprising this week Slime decided' to call on fascinating, glamorous-in-a-quiet-way Paul Lawrence, who, between presiding over the stormy sessions of Junior College's unruly legislative as- semblage, the Student Council, and straightening out the intellectual knots involved in the debate question and perhaps tying 'a few for his op- ponents, finds time to make a real reputation for himself as one of J.C.,s front line brain stormers. Since this magazine is a furious condensation fwho said, by the censors?j, we have prepared an at-a-glance table of Lawrence's most intimate pri- vate life. 7:00 Gets up 7:15 Eats Breakfast 7:30 Finished with Corn Kicks 7:45 Finishes cleaning milk spots off pants 8:00 In school 8:00 to 12:00 lost in a world of learning . 12:00 to 12:30 Eats lunch or should we say tries to keep as much of it as he can out of the clutches of Pearse 12:30 to 12:31 Lawrence calls Pearse a weasel 12:30 to 1:00 Works on school work, chases woman through the hall, thinks up debate ' arguments and works crossword puzzles' 1 :00 to 3:00 Enveloped by Academic world 3:00 to supper time - thinks? ? 6:00 Eats supper Cquite normalj 6:30 Calls up girl friend for a date 10:30 Finishes talking to girl friend and has date 10:30 to 12:00 None of your business 12:00 Arrives home happy but a bit disallusioned to find his wallet gone. ' Next morning the whole thing goes on all over again. No future in it is there! I Slime would at this time also like to present the week's most remarkable discovery, a girl who is both normal and beautiful. So adjust your ties and screw your teeth in, fellows, cause here comes Jane Waite for a place in Close Ups. This week her meteor burst across the horizon of news stories for her swell work in successfully engin- eering the all-club banquet. Instead of plumbing the depths of Miss Waite's daily living as we did in Mr. Lawrence's case. Let us catalog neatly her outlook on life in table form. What I think about men and Democrats? ,.:gC 'U What I think abo.ut the relationship between the sociological and economic development of the African pigmies from 1850 to 1860? Don't know. CGuess we stumped her on that one.j What I think about the Dutch? No good. That treating system they originated has cost me too much of my allowance. What I think of Craig Hitchcock? Not for publi- cation., Who will win the world series? Detroit Tigers CWell, What could I say?j Your roving reporter also thought it well to call on Bob Paine the power of the power of the power of the power Qas Gertrude Stein would sayj so far as the Sophomore class is concerned. This week Sophomore classes -Paine again surprised newshawks by candidly announcing that the Sophomore Class was going toicome through the year without a deficit. Mr. Paine, already having proved to himself to be the Horatio Alger of Junior College, we re- print some of the suggestions that have paved his roadway to success. Here they are: Brush your teeth. b Save your pennys. Vote the Democratic ticket. Keep away from the pool halls. Up to this point Mr. Paine had dealt in gen- eralization, so your reporter asked him to be more specific. Result: Mr. Paine loosened up with some short cuts to success for Junior College students. Sit near Stanford Bradshaw in all your classes. Don't hang over the hall wastebaskets and around the lockers and whistle at the girls, be more subtle in your approach. ' Don't praise Republicans in Mr. Kremble's hear- mg. p Poetry College Memoires Masculine Ode to the spring with the melting snows Ode to the blonde with the hair that glows Ode to the rattletrap model A's Ode to the heck we used to raise Ode to the teachers who called us men Ode to the Chemistry we took over again Ode to the baskets we never made Ode to the eggs our gags have laid Ode to the old Men's Union room Ode to the days of report card gloom Ode to the noon hour's games in the Gym Ode to the Faculty that thought us quite dim But mostly just owed. College Memoires Feminine Here's to the fall with its flying leaves Here's to the fellow for whom our heart grieves Here's to the bull sessions down at the Ritzy Here's to the hat we knew was quite schnetzie Here's to the Forester that took us 66Dutch Treat Here's to the assignments that made us feel beat Here's to the good ol' Women's League Here's to badlninton's healthy fatigue Here's to the days when while on the man hunt Here's to the days when we landed a runt Here's to our patient long suffering teachers Hereis to the football games played from the bleachers Here's to the B that put us in clover Here's to the men we hoped would come over Here.

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6 9 l ' Artists Material ' Drawing Instruments ' Sign Writers Supplies Pictures and Frames Crepe Paper Party Favors Handicraft Supplies k-fN.s.f7 Anderson rtist Supply Co. 80 Ionia Avenue, N.W. Nh W 6 9 A Mention! ! COLLEGE GRADUATES For Finer Photos and Better Service ROBIN SON'S STUDIO Jefferson Phone t U Victor Decca PHONOGRAPH RECORDS Columbia Okeh H. F. COLE 68 Division Ave., N. Phone 9-5872 N I Science SKULLOLOGY Aninyous Fopweasle, professor of Skullology Mine Ha Ha College, Drain Plug, Idaho, this week announced the result of a lifetime of prodigious research. He has at last succeeded in explaining the weird shapes of College students' skulls. For his research work, Mr. Fopweasle took the Grand Rapids Junior College, a representative mid- western institution. We quote Mr. Fopweasle in the following explanations: Type one, the intellectual, or student type skull. This type usually does or attempts to actually do all the work assigned by instruc- tors which undoubtedly accounts for the odd bulge in the upper right-hand corner of the figure shown. This type is now almost extinct. Type two, or flirtation type. The mmm- large eyeball socket to be noted in the picture may probably be ex- plained by the dilating of the eye- balls to express a somewhat arti- ficial glee at all the gags pulled by the opposite sex in a frantic at- tempt to secure more dates or make an impression. This type is decidedly not extinct. Type three, or athletic type. The odd forehead may possibly be at- tributed to frequent collision with other objects, notably on the foot- ball field. The protruding of the ---l--' lower portion of the skull by a sticking out of the lower jaw is an effort to scare less brawny types away from attractive girls. This type flourishes. Type four, or the Engineer' type l-m.. skull tends to assume a perfectly spherical shape. There are two pos- sible explanations for this: 1. That the immense energy generated by the brain cells in attempting to master Calculus tended to force the - walls into this shape. 2. That En- gineers, constantly bounced over l-i long periods of time from many ' ' dances for non-payment of admit- 9 I O XX tance, finally found their skulls , y pounded and rolled into an ap- 1 ,7 proximate sphere. X 1 X XX -- --' Type five, or the uwoncha help- - - me type. The dotted lines trace what was probably the original skull line of this type. It is thought that both the original vacuum with- in the skull and the repeated and constant attempts to draw informa- tion from others tended to draw the walls of the cell together. The small eyeball socket may be ex- plained by the fact that the eye of this type was usually far out of its socket gleaning information from Mothers' papers so that the socket shrank from lack of use.

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E The Boast of the Engineer We re men of broad shoulders, Just made to move boulders We can hit a Heal quiz on the nose. Our judgment's terrific, our brain, it's prolific HERKNER'S So far as Chemistry goes. We much prefer comics to dull economics By Fairchild Furness and Buck And we really get tired and to wrath are inspired When at uset back we're all out of luck. But our recitations 're redundant, our minds not abundant, When it comes to that Mstale ol' lit stuff We'd trade the ubook romance of Shelley and Bryron For a real love affair with a real blond siren. We're sometimes adoring and sometimes abhor- ring, Our fume drenched old labs and test tubes We're proud of our torso, of our slide rules even more so And we'll clip you if you call us rubes. We're the kind of good fellows that make hearty bellows That resound and resound down the halls. But on one point we're cinched, weill come through in a pinch With the goods and we'll give you our all. - The Lament of the Pre-Theolog Said the right reverend Mr. Twiddle When getting his parson's degree Itis bad enough to be Twiddle Whoid want to be Twiddle D.D. N DUNN'S OFFICE EQUIPMENT CO. WISHES THE SENIOR CLASS OF 194-'1 a Happy Graduation and in the years to come, success and good health. SS: , SALUTE THE 1941 JUNIOR COLLEGE W GRADUATES 0 It has required 14 years of your school life to attain this goal. Your parents and relatives will no doubt present you With some token of appreciation for this occasion. A dependable watch or choice piece of jewelry always make a lasting gift. 4 HERKNER JEWELRY CO. s 114 MONROE AVENUE W The Vision on the Lit Our lives are all stunted, our horizons so narrowed Our eyes are all sunken, our faces all harrowed For we only read of romantic motivators And we sit on the side lines as bookish spectators The passion of romance our books do o'rflow When we read about Lockinvar with envy we glow. And so we're inflamed with this passion on pages When we read about romance down through all the ages. But here it is Friday Night and we're sitting home Like a broken down introvert, a book wormish knome But ah, are not we told to make literature into action So we rush to the phone as our feet gather trac- tion We'll think of a beauty, call her up in two jerks And we'll find out pronto if ubook romance works. The Lament of the Pre-Medic I blur my dimmed eyesight over anatomy charts When I could be yielding to the fair sex's art I strain my every nerve, every muscle is taut When Miss McCabe's tests forward are brought My back is all bent and my shoulders bowed down From studying just how one's food goes down My fingers are cramped and my pencil is worn From writing complete answers to evade Miss Marlow's scorn Pm a broken down man with the palsy l'm hit Medicine may be grand, but l envy the lils.