Grand Rapids Community College - Olympian Yearbook (Grand Rapids, MI)

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6 9 l ' Artists Material ' Drawing Instruments ' Sign Writers Supplies Pictures and Frames Crepe Paper Party Favors Handicraft Supplies k-fN.s.f7 Anderson rtist Supply Co. 80 Ionia Avenue, N.W. Nh W 6 9 A Mention! ! COLLEGE GRADUATES For Finer Photos and Better Service ROBIN SON'S STUDIO Jefferson Phone t U Victor Decca PHONOGRAPH RECORDS Columbia Okeh H. F. COLE 68 Division Ave., N. Phone 9-5872 N I Science SKULLOLOGY Aninyous Fopweasle, professor of Skullology Mine Ha Ha College, Drain Plug, Idaho, this week announced the result of a lifetime of prodigious research. He has at last succeeded in explaining the weird shapes of College students' skulls. For his research work, Mr. Fopweasle took the Grand Rapids Junior College, a representative mid- western institution. We quote Mr. Fopweasle in the following explanations: Type one, the intellectual, or student type skull. This type usually does or attempts to actually do all the work assigned by instruc- tors which undoubtedly accounts for the odd bulge in the upper right-hand corner of the figure shown. This type is now almost extinct. Type two, or flirtation type. The mmm- large eyeball socket to be noted in the picture may probably be ex- plained by the dilating of the eye- balls to express a somewhat arti- ficial glee at all the gags pulled by the opposite sex in a frantic at- tempt to secure more dates or make an impression. This type is decidedly not extinct. Type three, or athletic type. The odd forehead may possibly be at- tributed to frequent collision with other objects, notably on the foot- ball field. The protruding of the ---l--' lower portion of the skull by a sticking out of the lower jaw is an effort to scare less brawny types away from attractive girls. This type flourishes. Type four, or the Engineer' type l-m.. skull tends to assume a perfectly spherical shape. There are two pos- sible explanations for this: 1. That the immense energy generated by the brain cells in attempting to master Calculus tended to force the - walls into this shape. 2. That En- gineers, constantly bounced over l-i long periods of time from many ' ' dances for non-payment of admit- 9 I O XX tance, finally found their skulls , y pounded and rolled into an ap- 1 ,7 proximate sphere. X 1 X XX -- --' Type five, or the uwoncha help- - - me type. The dotted lines trace what was probably the original skull line of this type. It is thought that both the original vacuum with- in the skull and the repeated and constant attempts to draw informa- tion from others tended to draw the walls of the cell together. The small eyeball socket may be ex- plained by the fact that the eye of this type was usually far out of its socket gleaning information from Mothers' papers so that the socket shrank from lack of use.

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Books REVIENVS OF THE MONTH BY YOUR FRIEND AND COMPANION, J. FICHE FACT: This n1o11tl1 under the heading of fact, we have four books to be reviewed. A few are good and a few are pretty sad! The first of these is a rather deep, too technical book for yours truly, but for the specialists in this line, I can well see where this book could be a great asset in a library. The title: UNSTABILITY IN THE MODERN MIND: - the Author: - Mr. Joe Cassis, the very eminent psychologist and student of the human mind: Mr. Cassis has indeed done a creditable mint of work on this project of his, and sometime I shall corner him and get the main points of the book from him personally - I couldn't find any when I read it, but then, I couldn't read it either. A The second book is a rather deep book too, and after reading it, my mind, I must admit is in a bit of a fuddle, more so than in its normal state, I mean. The title: 1 A NEW APPROACH TO CALCULAS:-the Author:--Mr. ,Nathan Bryant. Somehow or other, I think the student would be wiser to stick to the old approach or even wiser if he just stayed away from Calculas. For in Mr. Bryant's NEW,APPROACH TO CALCULAS, he gets you right up to the old boy and then leaves you there with your bare face hanging out - and imagine spending the rest of your life with Cal- culas as a companion. Warning: Students stay away from this book unless you want to make a life-long friend of old Calculas. The third book is written by Mr. Don Dilley, who seems to be a bit embittered in his writing. The name of his latest book is THE BREAK- DOWN OF THE REPUBLICAN PARTY. This book will be very interesting to Democrats and a sad revelation to all Republicans. Advisable read- ing! ! A BIOGRAPHY OF SHELLEY by William Mc- Connell is a well-written manuscript of Shelley's youth. Of course, the other elements of Shelley's life enter into this fine biography but McConnell seems to be most concerned with his childhood. The beauty of Shelley's soul, even when a small child, is brought out by McConnell in appreciative form. A must read for you intellectuals. Of course, this biography of Shelley is written in ten volumns, but do not let this discourage you. I started reading it last August, and have enjoyed it ever since. Mr. McConnell has alsoppublished a Latin version of this, his great masterpiece. FICTION: Under fiction this month we have some really inspiring books and one that stinks! The most inspiring of these is a new volumn of verse by that eminent poet, Mike Crell. Mr. Crell's GAR- LANDS IN THE GREEN HILLS is a lovely book entirely free from any personal feelings. It reads as though something immortal had had a hand in producing the lovely, swinging lines, its passionate intensity, and especially its lyrical, lacy, love son- Y 7,7 nets. Every home should have this book on its book-shelf - but never leave it there for a long time -,read a sonnet each night and gain some of Crell's wonderful psychology for yourself. A rather amusing play is written by Peter Cole this month. Laid in the deserts of Egypt and shifting to a swanky apartment in New York, this play is a rapid, humorous presentation of the old Cleopatra stories. CLEOPATRA RECONSIDERED is a modern, in fact ultra-modern, adaptation and will very probably send the audience into the aisles - for home, unless they can survive the first act which is downright deadly. There is some question about finding a producer bad enough for this play. However, this play is good reading, if you have a rather misplaced sense of humor. The masculine Emily Post comes to light in this new book, THE GENTLE ART OF COURT- SHIP5 SELF TAUGHT written by a man new to the world of literature. But do not let this fact keep you from reading this very interesting book, for its author, Mr. Robert Paup, writes as a vet- eran Cof the American Revolutionj and this book is, you will have to admit, very unique! It is a revision of a book on the same order written in the 18th century by Captain Bly, on one of his voyages. I One of the most insipid books I have ever read, and don't kid yourself - Pve read plenty, is a new novel just out written by a man who obvious- ly had delusions of grandeur or something. The title:-Csad enoughj 10 CENTS A DANCE, OR THE STORY OF A MISUNDERSTOOD WOMAN: -the Author :-William Bennett! In the first place, the text of this book is morbid enough to make the very worms it will collect later curl up and die' of boredom or ptomaine poisoning! Either the Author is giving us some of his own life incidents or he does not know what he is talk- ing about. Perhaps I had better start at the be- ginning and give you the plot? or the mistake? It is concerned with the daughter of an old broken- down school teacher who has to take a job in a taxi-dance saloon in order to keep a few crusts on the table! What I want to know is why didn't the old man apply for a pension or at least join the Townsend Club! Anyway, Mr. Bennett tries to take the troubles of this poor girl upon his own shoulders and solve her problems - this is a case of a person who really has double trouble. Because after his public reads this fugitive from a lame brain, he is going to have trouble 1 and plenty. I wouldn't be surprised to find him bask- ing in jail some day in the not too distant future - but Pm not for it! I move they put him to work so he won't have time to sit around and write this kind of tripe. And, now, dear readers, after spreading this bit of wisdom for you to take advantage of - and so you won't be stung by buying any books that arenit worth it - I take leave of you until next month. ,

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Close-ups Each week Slime invades the sacred environs of private livesv to gain intimate sketches of the personalities that make up our school. Remem- ber, Slime was not responsible for their upbring- ing or does not necessarily endorse any of their personal antics or opinions recounted in this screwball's corner. Being enterprising this week Slime decided' to call on fascinating, glamorous-in-a-quiet-way Paul Lawrence, who, between presiding over the stormy sessions of Junior College's unruly legislative as- semblage, the Student Council, and straightening out the intellectual knots involved in the debate question and perhaps tying 'a few for his op- ponents, finds time to make a real reputation for himself as one of J.C.,s front line brain stormers. Since this magazine is a furious condensation fwho said, by the censors?j, we have prepared an at-a-glance table of Lawrence's most intimate pri- vate life. 7:00 Gets up 7:15 Eats Breakfast 7:30 Finished with Corn Kicks 7:45 Finishes cleaning milk spots off pants 8:00 In school 8:00 to 12:00 lost in a world of learning . 12:00 to 12:30 Eats lunch or should we say tries to keep as much of it as he can out of the clutches of Pearse 12:30 to 12:31 Lawrence calls Pearse a weasel 12:30 to 1:00 Works on school work, chases woman through the hall, thinks up debate ' arguments and works crossword puzzles' 1 :00 to 3:00 Enveloped by Academic world 3:00 to supper time - thinks? ? 6:00 Eats supper Cquite normalj 6:30 Calls up girl friend for a date 10:30 Finishes talking to girl friend and has date 10:30 to 12:00 None of your business 12:00 Arrives home happy but a bit disallusioned to find his wallet gone. ' Next morning the whole thing goes on all over again. No future in it is there! I Slime would at this time also like to present the week's most remarkable discovery, a girl who is both normal and beautiful. So adjust your ties and screw your teeth in, fellows, cause here comes Jane Waite for a place in Close Ups. This week her meteor burst across the horizon of news stories for her swell work in successfully engin- eering the all-club banquet. Instead of plumbing the depths of Miss Waite's daily living as we did in Mr. Lawrence's case. Let us catalog neatly her outlook on life in table form. What I think about men and Democrats? ,.:gC 'U What I think abo.ut the relationship between the sociological and economic development of the African pigmies from 1850 to 1860? Don't know. CGuess we stumped her on that one.j What I think about the Dutch? No good. That treating system they originated has cost me too much of my allowance. What I think of Craig Hitchcock? Not for publi- cation., Who will win the world series? Detroit Tigers CWell, What could I say?j Your roving reporter also thought it well to call on Bob Paine the power of the power of the power of the power Qas Gertrude Stein would sayj so far as the Sophomore class is concerned. This week Sophomore classes -Paine again surprised newshawks by candidly announcing that the Sophomore Class was going toicome through the year without a deficit. Mr. Paine, already having proved to himself to be the Horatio Alger of Junior College, we re- print some of the suggestions that have paved his roadway to success. Here they are: Brush your teeth. b Save your pennys. Vote the Democratic ticket. Keep away from the pool halls. Up to this point Mr. Paine had dealt in gen- eralization, so your reporter asked him to be more specific. Result: Mr. Paine loosened up with some short cuts to success for Junior College students. Sit near Stanford Bradshaw in all your classes. Don't hang over the hall wastebaskets and around the lockers and whistle at the girls, be more subtle in your approach. ' Don't praise Republicans in Mr. Kremble's hear- mg. p Poetry College Memoires Masculine Ode to the spring with the melting snows Ode to the blonde with the hair that glows Ode to the rattletrap model A's Ode to the heck we used to raise Ode to the teachers who called us men Ode to the Chemistry we took over again Ode to the baskets we never made Ode to the eggs our gags have laid Ode to the old Men's Union room Ode to the days of report card gloom Ode to the noon hour's games in the Gym Ode to the Faculty that thought us quite dim But mostly just owed. College Memoires Feminine Here's to the fall with its flying leaves Here's to the fellow for whom our heart grieves Here's to the bull sessions down at the Ritzy Here's to the hat we knew was quite schnetzie Here's to the Forester that took us 66Dutch Treat Here's to the assignments that made us feel beat Here's to the good ol' Women's League Here's to badlninton's healthy fatigue Here's to the days when while on the man hunt Here's to the days when we landed a runt Here's to our patient long suffering teachers Hereis to the football games played from the bleachers Here's to the B that put us in clover Here's to the men we hoped would come over Here.