Grand Rapids Community College - Olympian Yearbook (Grand Rapids, MI)

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SLIME Vol. 2,000,000,000 NO. 0 June 0, 1941 THE WEEKLY OZZEMAGAZINE ' AFFAIRS ELECTIONS This season presses all over the nation were kept busy belching forth frantic reports and calcu- lations concerning the political trend at Junior College. And at the very close of a hectic year supercharged with political developments SLIME brings you an up-to-the-minute summary of the political .big guns that have shaken the school's political life. P Political theorists have popped up all over to disturb the already none too placid political scene. This week, James Stough, already having made the new one by being expelled from the Communist party for radicalism, popped up again to run for office. His prograln terse and simple. CID Hold fourth hour classes at the Ritzy for digestion's sake. CZD Shoot all engineers. CID Press strict legislation making it mandatory for Winnie Slack to have dates with all sophomores during the course of the week. Stough found his proposals vigorously countered however by tennis star, heart throb, Don Howick backed stronglynby the en- gineers. Howick's campaign managers announced his clailn for votes in the sure-fire campaign plat- form that vies with Stough's in clearness. CID Shoot all lit students. Put fog lights on all desks of chemistry labs so students wending their way through the fog, will not constantly collide with desks or get a date with the wrong girl. C3j Pass- ing a date priority law to insure engineers first chance. H But the shooting between these two had hardly begun when Charles Atlas like, Mike Crell jumped into the political arena with a program for legis- lation that may well give all' of the candidates a run for their money. Crell asserted Qin a nation- wide address over WLAVD that: girls should be forbidden to date fellows not on athletic teams, report cards should be abolished as antiquated and embarrassing, and that all students should .be let No program needel? Fog lights in labs . . . Shoot ll out of school at 11:30 because of the lunch rush when school is let out at twelve o'clock. Jack Doyle also announced himself to be in the political race but committed himself to no definite program. Verdict of the women: he doesn't need one. Hugh Lillie also crashed breezily into the political lime- light by running on the MAH Freshman ticket for office Cany officej. His proposed Dutch Treat Dating Law, promises to auger well for his vote- getting ability.,

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Letters THE HERMIT SPEAKS Gentlemen: well, anyway, Men: After reading your most recent copy of Slime, I have decided to retire to a mountain cave to concern my soul with your ethical welfare. Is there nothing in life but drinking, maudlin love scenes, and such, that catches your interest. Have you never gazed into the eyes of a fly, and seen shining there the glory of the heavens? Have you never held an enlightening conversation with a pigeon? I mourn for the present status of the world: I depart to my cave and the sweet solitude of my own thoughts. If somewhere in the bleak world, you should find a few more souls like me have them address their mail to the Hermit's Cave. Sincerely, ' . William Graul 9 SLIME imagines that the rest of the Hermit's address is either in Kalamazoo or Cutlerville. TIMBER Dear Sirs: I believe I am speaking in behalf of the male population of these United States when I beseech you for more articles about women - not just and women - but beautiful women: more pic- tures of beautiful women: stories, cross-word puzzles, riddles, jokes, all about women - beau- tiful women! Come on, boys, you know darn well you'd like these things in your magazine as well as your read- ers, and just think of the fun your proofreaders would have - or your censorers, lucky devils. Give your fellow males a chance, Max 'cLover Pearse AH! A FAN Dear Sirs: Oh, honestly, I simply adore your magazine - I think it's just too, too divine! Every Friday we all dash Madly for the mail-box to get it! The last one there has to skip around the block three times and bark all night outside the window of the one who got there first. Isn't that fun? And, of course, the one who gets there first is just too lucky for words! He not only gets to read your very lovely magazine first, but he gets first chance at the bathtub Saturday night! I haven't got much time to write you more, but I could write to you all night and all day - I just love you nice men! When the revolution comes, I shall protect you - just show your captors this letter and they will let you go absolutely free! Oh, I must go now, for here comes that woman with my over-coat - I can't imagine why they didn't put sleeves in it and she ties it so tightly. Oh, yes, I guess I forgot to give you my name so that you can answer me - I should just love to hear from you - I would have your letterfor desert every Tuesday - My name is Peg Gauthier. CP-sst I'm really Lady Macbeth but nobody will believe me.j Goodbye now, sec you Tuesday! TELEGRAM To the editors of SLIME from Dorothea llrande, authoress of 'WAKE UP AND LIVE: YOU DlDN'T! YOU l:lAVEN'T! WHEN ARE YOU GOING TO? A PERSONAL FRIEND Gentlemen: After reading your most wonderful article on the generalization of the Dodo Bird, I was moved to write to you and inform you that when my grandfather was living he was a Dodo bird - ex- pert. He left me many of his books, and I com- pared them with your article, and guess what - your article was just like the books. Oh, you naughty men, don't you know plagar- izing is a criminal offense? But I won't tell a soul, it will be a deep dark secret between you and me and the Dodo bird! Oh! I think it's such fun to know famous men like you so personally - when can I come to your house for dinner? 'Yours truly, Tillie Ipswich ' Cof the Boston Ipswichesb P SLIME wishes to inform Miss Ipswich that the article written on the Dodo bird, if she had read it carefully, gave Hezekieh Ipswich the credit for the research work done. MODERN WOMANHOOD INCARNATE Gentlemen: I think that you should be giving your readers more articles on the causes of the Spanish-Ameri- can War! These causes are of utmost importance to the world today. Last month I gave a most intelligent and inter- esting talk on this subject at the meeting of our Ladies' Aid Society. If you would like to have the same references which I used, use either Spain S peaks, by Botela de Visquit or A S paniard's View by Toquillag or any Encyclopedia. If you should happen to want my own paper on this, I should love to have you use it. But whatever you do use, please acquaint the world with this most important subject! Sincerely, Juanita Rozencramze President of the 10070 Americans Club A VOICE CRIES IN THE WILDERNESS Ge1ntge,en1t Cmf hrd bgk dwrf cmfwvbg rf shrdl dwkfbgm etao hm scrfrf llllllllllCl'fll fg dwlwdw rfrmhmhm xz? C 1234- mbmb rf hm scscrf rfdwdwdwdwdd aoi rdlmfwbgk hrd mfwscmrfdw rf rfdwdw dwrr etao shr mrfd hmscmscsc hmhmfgwrf rfhmseth rf hmhmsc rfdwdw fg n1bl11nl11n se mr dwddfddr. thcv rfdwlnn dwares ilar mb hmsct wkares mbbcb dwar es tlnn dw l niu hz mbrfrf hmesssshhr fmh. Ymfw bgkq llrdlu taoin hrdlu mfwyp bgkq gbz. etaoi shrd cmfw vbgk gkqj fwyp rdlu aoin rdlun Upitd domvrtrgn, Joseph Stalin VV OW! Gentlemen : After this date please consider my subscription lor this periodical terminated! I find that some ol the stories and articles in your magazine are in- juring the moral fibers of my children! Sincerely. Eleanor Roosevelt ,A ,, X X -,L 1 ,H ,E .E 'H if 1 ,null 1:5 1-g eil ful 'li t. rd Vip l g'3Dw 3 1 I Ee'-4 I 71 ist'-1 H H., S L.. 'Gs' 'vt i I 1

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ports BIG MEN OF SPORTS? Setting a fast pace this year, J.C.'s mighty men of the athletic field gave the College a season packed with colorful incidents, dynamic accom- plishments, and vibrant personalities QSlime was not paid one cent for its testimonialj. But with the typical, nasty inquisitiveness natural to your wandering reporter, Slime this week has decided to go behind the scenes and give its readers an intimate picture of the 'cworld of sports. Start- ing out' with football, one finds that the gridiron has its glamour boys no less than the movie studios or the country clubs - and so on down the line of other sports. are Name Sport Party Affiliation Opinion of Women Remarks Sorenson Football, Whig Cdoesn't read I'm all for 'emi Hello Ma! Basketball papers muchj Hello Pa! Johnson Football Will m a k e arrangements Very high I am a man of action not to suit girl friend's family of words Schrihel. Basketball Republican in spite of Mr. Too long and involved to The shortest distance to a Kremble print girl's heart is a straight line MacNaughton Golf Violent Democrat Not interested in women Golf and Women - What ' in general. a life! I I Favorite color - Green Favorite dance - Susie Q Sourman Tennis Conservative Communist Formed none but willing In pgker, lgve or tennig, i0 learn proper technique with a good racket plays a large part. Howick Tennis Radical Republican ? ? ? I could make a few espe- e cially about Slime - CThat's fine, Mr. Howick, and now on to our next sportsman.J Badaluco Golf New Deal Republican I'm a man's man! Listen, Brother, if you ' want to keep your job as President, it's best not to say too much - 6 9 E 5 Quality - Service -Value 0 The three main and essential Kewpee Hamblugs points to keep in mind when buy- ing jewelry or silverware are Service, 'Quality and -Value. Siegel's prestige thruout West- ern Michigan has been attained by maintaining these three stand- ards of business ethics for the past 52 years. O Siegel Jewelry Company 124 Monroe Ave. Established 1889 1 A Meal Q in Themselves and THEY HAVE MADE THEIR VVAY BY THE VVAY THEY'RE MADE mf KEWPEE HUTEL PLENTY OF PARKING SPACE and Car Tray Service Every Night During' the Sulmuer Months G W G J f f i. 1 sf' 1 1 1 ff ffl wi 1 'Tl ,lf ,H ,JF ,C ,lv iff bl ui Siu l Lg ill 'un if qi 'N 'H L.. Nh. 3-2 K 'vu N. s 'B PM