Grand Island College - Islander Yearbook (Grand Island, NE)

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THE ISLANDER Hick: I was at Bump's trial today. Hack: Bump arrested? What were the charges ? Hick: He was accused of . . . what do you call it when a fel- low lies for money ? Hack: Politics, diplomacy or war-diplomacy ? There is Fred Scads over there, he made a million in Wall Street last year. Honestly '? 'UI don't know, but he made it 77 Tourist: How many machines pass here each day ? Farmer: I couldn't tell you exactly, mister. Tourist: Well, about how many ? Farmer: It all depends. Tourist: Well,' on the av- erage ? Farmer: average varies. Well, stranger, the Francelia: Did you have any- thing to talk about at the Sigma Tau Delta meeting last night? Harriet: Lots-on account of the storm there were only five of us there. Miss Bright fwho is enter- tainingj: Willie, put Mr. Shat- tuck's hat down, you might damage it, and besides he will want it in a few minutes. Lawyer: The precedents are against you, madam. .. Lady: Well, sue them, too, then. +--me I 1928

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THE ISLANDER 1928 Two married women were dis- cussing the cost of living. It's really dreadful, said one sadly. Why, do you know my bills for clothes this year are double what they were last year. Goodness, gasped the other, I don't see how your husband can afford it. He can't, replied the other calmly. But then he couldn't last year either so what's the difference. Prosperity Farmer Moore was asked whether he had had a good year. Gosh, yes ! he exclaimed. I had four cows and three hogs killed by railway trains, and two hogs and eleven chickens run over by cars. I cleared near S1S1,000. Miss Green: Of course you can't believe everything you hear. Mrs. Gladreich: O, no, but you can repeat it. Mrs. Williams, recently re- turned from Europe, was in at- tendance at a tea given in her honor. And did you really go to Rome and Monte Cristo '? asked the hostess. I really don't know my dear, she replied. You see, my hus- band bought all the tickets. Actor: As a matter of fact, I could show you letters from- er-ladies in-er-almost every place in which I have appeared. Sport: Landladies, I suppose?

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THE ISLANDER UG 62.91928 Fair Enough How long did you stay in your last place ? Two weeks, mum, and before I agree to come and work for you, I should like to know how long you kept the last girl you had. Packing For Vacation Jack! Yes. Can you bring a fat friend to dinner? I gotta have some heavy-weight to sit on my trunk. Mother: My son, why do all the young college men wear soft shirts? Son: I really don't know, mother, unless it is to distin- guish them from the assistant professors. Visitor: My good man, you keep your pigs much too close to the house. Fanmer: That's what Doc said, too, but I reckon they're gettin' along all right. George: Say, old man, I haven't seen my wife for two or three weeksg have you been with her lately ? Harry: Neg maybe she is at homeg have you looked ? George: By Joveg hadn't thought of it. Thanks. Violet Flynn: Do you call this sponge cake? It is as hard as can be. Mrs. Edwards: Well, that's the way a sponge is before it's wet. Soak it in your coffee. H