Goshen High School - Crimson Yearbook (Goshen, IN)

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28 THE CRIMSON There are several needed reforms which might take place in the administration of High School affairs without serious damage to anyone. Thcy are: First: A motion picture machine might be placed in the so- called gymnasium for the purpose of sl1owi11g pictures of winning teams ill action. They might include our own team, if we will ever be lucky enough to win on another Hoor, after the team has been coached in such close quarters. We believe that this method would give as many thrills and as much enjoyment to the spectators as the present method which consists mainly of seeing our own team de- feated because of the lack of a regular sized Gymnasium. Second: The Class of 1911 presented to the Goshen High School two fountains, one for each hall. At the time of their install- ments it was supposed that their purpose was to give water to the thirsty, but it now appears that they are more of an ornament than anything else, for the water supply is generally shut off. We also suggest that if the fountains were kept in a little better condition, the water might be more palatable. Third: 'VVe, the Class of 1914, we, the. Class of which Goshen is and of right ought to be proud, were forced to buy our own invita- tions. Therefore we raise a howl which we earnestly hope will cause the School Board to deal more leniently with following classes. As for the Faculty, they have always treated us with due and proper respect except for the liberal distribution of demerits and the tlunking of two-thirds of the class. But every cloud has a silver lining, every wave-tossed ship upon the ocean has a port. So we, the Class of 1914, will triumph over all such petty obstacles and learn to forget and forgive as we go bravely, faithfully, and cheer- fully on. - Chester Brothers.

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THE CRIMSON 27 Dwight conducted class meetings in somewhat the following man- ner.x After a small portion of the class had assembled, he would tap for order with his gavel, and then proceed to tell the other mem- bers what he had decided the class should do. Such trivial form- alities as putting a motion, seconding it and voting on it were done away with. On rare occasions the servantof the class asked for objections to his plans. Those who favored his pet schemes were per- mitted to make grand, flowery, eloquent speeches. Those who op- posed him were denied the floor or expelled from the meeting for disorderly conduct. After nine months of such servitude, can it be wondered at that we sighed in relief? Our President abhorred the word assessment, so he accordingly coined his synonyms, the words being pastry sales and entertain- ments. In this manner the class was able to have assessments that were assessments, assessments that were pastry sales without any pastry being sold, and assessments that were supposed to be' enter- tainments, although few came to be entertained. One day a breezy young man breathlessly blew into a class meeting and informed everybody in spasmodic gasps, that he was out of breath since he had just arrived from the Pacific coast, and in addition had a bad cold. The suddenness of his entrance, his wheezing, and his strange utterances gave the class a great schock. This partly explains its later action. This young man then an- nounced himself as the advance agent for C. W. Harlan. He then imparted, in a few confidential whispers, a J. Rufu Wallingford get-rich-quick scheme to the class, with the usual provision that we furnish the mere financial assistance while he would do the brain work. To make a long story short, we bit by signing a contract guaranteeing Mr. Harlan twenty-five dollars provided he would give his entertainment in the assembly room. The rush for Harlan tickets was something like the rush for volumes of Homer, Vergil and Aristotle in a Bowery bookstore. But with much work the class managed to get what might be called, for courtesy 's sake, an audience. ' On the night of the entertainment, the audience arrived, hung its hat in a locker, gave its ticket to the door-keeper, passed in, took a seat and proceeded to listen to the entertainment. After the entertainment the audience took its hat and passed out of the front door into the darkness never to come back again. Five minutes later, twenty-five dollars of our money followed suit. Our net gain was fifteen cents. At this period we nearly came to the stage of changing our motto to Small favors thankfully received.

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THE CRIMSON 29 N , Prophecy F I HAD done the perfectly logical, therefore the sen- gg sible thing I would have simply looked you, my class- mates, over and then most laconically said that y some were distined for the trials and tribulations of ' matrimony while the rest of you were ordained for those blessed states of bachelor a.nd spinster- hood. But instead, out of a supposed sense of gratitude to you for bestowing upon me this gigantic task of seeing into the future when I never have been able to see any further than my nose, I am compelled to don the mystic robe of a seer and with wand in hand mete out to you certain positions in life for which you have neither taste nor talent. VVell, after many sleepless nights and after many Hourishes of my ma.gic wand I have placed you in life 's moving picture like this: Harold Appleman, the only man in our class dignified enough to wear glasses, will spend his time in years to come in writing 'fbest-sellers. The best of these will be called The Fur- ther Adventures of Dippy and Yappy Dolbub. Ernest Hansen, in spite of his classical educa.tion, will take up that worthy position of leading merchant in Milford, the home of his wife, whose name it is unnecessary to mention, and in partnership with him will be Paul Zollinger, who by the aid of the speediest of motor cars will be able to return to Goshen every evening to call upon his fiancee, Miss Slate. In the year 1924 the world will be surprised to hear of the won- derful success of Lila Russell as a suffragette. In fact she will be so great in her gentle persuasive way of winning converts to the Cause that Emmeline Pankhurst will be put to shame for her militant methods. A great helper in her work will be Eleanor Freyberg Whom she will have as her private secretary. The Leer girls, namely Nellie and Della will be second Bronte Sisters as they will write books a11d plays together under the name D, and N. Leer. Pauline Kulp with her practical ideas on living, will be the President of the Wo1na11's Civic League of Indiana' and will travel about over the country organizing other Leagues of the same kind. Pauline will never marry as she would think it a sign of weakness on her part.