Goshen High School - Crimson Yearbook (Goshen, IN)

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THE CRIMSON 27 Dwight conducted class meetings in somewhat the following man- ner.x After a small portion of the class had assembled, he would tap for order with his gavel, and then proceed to tell the other mem- bers what he had decided the class should do. Such trivial form- alities as putting a motion, seconding it and voting on it were done away with. On rare occasions the servantof the class asked for objections to his plans. Those who favored his pet schemes were per- mitted to make grand, flowery, eloquent speeches. Those who op- posed him were denied the floor or expelled from the meeting for disorderly conduct. After nine months of such servitude, can it be wondered at that we sighed in relief? Our President abhorred the word assessment, so he accordingly coined his synonyms, the words being pastry sales and entertain- ments. In this manner the class was able to have assessments that were assessments, assessments that were pastry sales without any pastry being sold, and assessments that were supposed to be' enter- tainments, although few came to be entertained. One day a breezy young man breathlessly blew into a class meeting and informed everybody in spasmodic gasps, that he was out of breath since he had just arrived from the Pacific coast, and in addition had a bad cold. The suddenness of his entrance, his wheezing, and his strange utterances gave the class a great schock. This partly explains its later action. This young man then an- nounced himself as the advance agent for C. W. Harlan. He then imparted, in a few confidential whispers, a J. Rufu Wallingford get-rich-quick scheme to the class, with the usual provision that we furnish the mere financial assistance while he would do the brain work. To make a long story short, we bit by signing a contract guaranteeing Mr. Harlan twenty-five dollars provided he would give his entertainment in the assembly room. The rush for Harlan tickets was something like the rush for volumes of Homer, Vergil and Aristotle in a Bowery bookstore. But with much work the class managed to get what might be called, for courtesy 's sake, an audience. ' On the night of the entertainment, the audience arrived, hung its hat in a locker, gave its ticket to the door-keeper, passed in, took a seat and proceeded to listen to the entertainment. After the entertainment the audience took its hat and passed out of the front door into the darkness never to come back again. Five minutes later, twenty-five dollars of our money followed suit. Our net gain was fifteen cents. At this period we nearly came to the stage of changing our motto to Small favors thankfully received.

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26 THE CRIMSON Class Grumble ADIES AND GENTLEMEN: I have been chosen Official Class Grumbler because of a misplaced sense EtgQsx,5::,l of humor on the part of some of the members of the Class of 1914. Accordingly I will enumer- ate some of the causes for discontentment: We, the Class of 1914, entered Goshen's famous institution of learning during the third year of the reign of W9bSt81', the First, although some of the present members preceded the class. No brass band awaited us, no floral wreaths, decked the way, no multitude cheered us on, no trumpets heralded our advance. In awe We entered the dimly lighted corridor, whose echoes have rung to the footsteps of those who have gone before, either to be crowned with success or to sink into the depths of obscurity. As we walked down the corridor We were aware of faint ghostlike creatures Hitting about and crying at the top of their voices, Get us if you can, Get us if you can. These strange beings often came near us, but when we reached to catch them, they glided easily out of our grasp. Then with hollow, foreboding laughs they skipped about mimicking our vain attempts to catch them, ceas- lessly crying, Get us if you can, Get us if you can. A shud- dering Sophomore told us that these demons were The Thirty-Two Credits, and that we were supposed to capture them all. Is it strange that I grumble after hearing that mocking laugh for four years? During our second year we formed the first organized Sophomore Class that the Goshen High School has had the honor to possess. By this fact we evoked the jealousy of both the Juniors and Seniors classes. The aforesaid Juniors and Seniors showed their sincere appreciation of our humble but dauntless endeavors by introducing into the room in which we held our meetings, fby way of transoms and doorsj, books, erasers, freshmen and other miscel- laueous school property. But despite all upper classmen we man- aged to exist. Except for a few inconveniences placed in our way we success- fully passed our Junior year, but not until we had incurred a fair- sized debt. Soon after the beginning of the present year we began to feel the tyrannical hand of the Czar, Sultan, Ameer, Rajah, President and Grand Mogul of the class, alias the hand of Dwight Yoder. fi? 1

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28 THE CRIMSON There are several needed reforms which might take place in the administration of High School affairs without serious damage to anyone. Thcy are: First: A motion picture machine might be placed in the so- called gymnasium for the purpose of sl1owi11g pictures of winning teams ill action. They might include our own team, if we will ever be lucky enough to win on another Hoor, after the team has been coached in such close quarters. We believe that this method would give as many thrills and as much enjoyment to the spectators as the present method which consists mainly of seeing our own team de- feated because of the lack of a regular sized Gymnasium. Second: The Class of 1911 presented to the Goshen High School two fountains, one for each hall. At the time of their install- ments it was supposed that their purpose was to give water to the thirsty, but it now appears that they are more of an ornament than anything else, for the water supply is generally shut off. We also suggest that if the fountains were kept in a little better condition, the water might be more palatable. Third: 'VVe, the Class of 1914, we, the. Class of which Goshen is and of right ought to be proud, were forced to buy our own invita- tions. Therefore we raise a howl which we earnestly hope will cause the School Board to deal more leniently with following classes. As for the Faculty, they have always treated us with due and proper respect except for the liberal distribution of demerits and the tlunking of two-thirds of the class. But every cloud has a silver lining, every wave-tossed ship upon the ocean has a port. So we, the Class of 1914, will triumph over all such petty obstacles and learn to forget and forgive as we go bravely, faithfully, and cheer- fully on. - Chester Brothers.