Goshen Central High School - Yearbook (Goshen, NY)

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4 TIIE PIONEER Chicago Englishmen. Every time one of them would tell a good American story at which most of the party would laugh uproariously this particular Englishman would adjust his monocle to his eye and, looking wonderingly around the table, would remark, “But, I say, I don’t see anything in that to laugh at, y’ knaw.” One of the Chicago men finally recited an original poem. The poem told of an Englishman who had come to America and after being in this country only a short time had died and gone to another and much warmer country. Ten years passed, and one day an imp passing that way heard the Englishman laughing uproariously. “Why, what are you laughing at?” inquired the imp. “Oh, oh, oh, such a funny story as I heard in America. Oh, it was so funny!” laughed the victim, and he held his hands to his sides and almost doubled up with merriment. “A story you heard! Why, you’ve heard no story,” said the imp. “You’ve been dead ten years.” “Yes, yes, I know, I know,” cried the man. “But I’ve just seen the joke.” This poem set the table in a roar. Amid all the laughing and shouting the obtuse visitor adjusted his monocle and drawled out, “But, I say, I don’t see anything funny in that, y’ knaw.” “No,” replied the man who had read the poem, as quick as a flash. “Of course you don’t. You haven’t been dead ten years.” And even the obtuse Englishman saw the point. Wifey Fixed It. A young storekeeper who had failed the previous day was so diffident about meeting his creditors that he gave his wife the following instructions: “Now, Marie, if any one rings, you answer the door and tell them that I’m not in. I’ll hide.” Nor had he long to wait until a loud jangling of the bell assured him that an irate creditor stood at the door. It was only a reporter, however. “I wish to speak to your husband.” “But he isn’t in,” protested the woman. “Well, I understand,” said the reporter, getting out his notebook and pencil, “that he is insolvent.” “Oh, yes,” cried his wife, a happy inspiration seizing her. “He went over there on the 2:40 train yesterday, and I don’t expect him back until tomorrow.” —Lippincott’s. A Substantial Bone. So many witnesses had queered his client’s cases by swearing that the shots they had heard in a shooting affair were only thirty seconds apart that when pressed to tell what they were doing when each report was heard, naming actions so dissimilar that it must have taken at least ten minutes to switch from one to the other, the criminal lawyer swore that he would maintain consistency above all things in bis latest case. Gustave, the Swedish janitor, had heard two shots fired at the injured man, and the lawyer impressed upon him the importance of swearing that he was engaged at the same task at each shot. In the course of the trial it was brought out that the shots had been fired a month

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THE PIONEER 3 Thompson, Treasurer; Bertha Sclioon-maker, Secretary; Paul R. Schriver, Editor. For the class colors and flower we chose Maroon and Gold, and the American Beauty Rose. Our motto is: “Facta non Verba,”—“Deeds, Not Words.” With the exception of one, this is the largest class in the history of the school, the exception be-ing in 1901, with the same number of numbers, and we are proud of it. Our dignified president started her school life in Noah Webster, and continued through the grades, to the honored position she now holds. Margretta Farley commenced her early training in the little school house in East Division, she then entered the seventh grade in the Goshen Public School, from which she has worked her way upward with great success. Ruth Thompson spent her younger school days at several district schools in the vicinity of Campbell Hall, after which she started her first year in the High School. Bertha Schoonmaker, the giggler of the class, began her schooling in the Kindergarten, keeping on through the grades, until now she has reached the last year of her school work. Paul Schriver came to us from the Chester High School, and started in the first year High School. Any bashfulness from which he may have suffered has disappeared, and why not, with all those girls of the Senior Class to contend with. Emmy Kattmann came from the Girls’ High School in Brooklyn, attracted by the fame of Goshen H. S. It couldn’t be base ball. Elma Abrams, being a minister’s daughter, has attended various schools, including Training School, from which she came to Goshen High. Jane D. Coleman appeared ages ago in the first grade, having plodded steadily on, she now graduates with the Class of ’ll. Molly Foster first attended for two years, private school, taught by Miss Ged-ney, after which she entered Noah Webster School, and has completed the High School course. Mae Carr started in the primer of Noah Webster, completing the course there, she was promoted to the High School. The remaining member of the class, the writer, came from the New York Schools, and entered the fifth grade. Thus it is with feelings of deep regret that we turn from the dear school life, which will always be associated with our happiest thoughts and days, and with our motto, “Deeds, Not Words,” we will take our place in the great world before us. A. W. ’ll. THE POINT OF THE JOKE. It Was Difficult For the Englishman but He Finally Saw It. A party of Englishmen were in Chicago sightseeing some years ago. They were entertained at dinner by some Chicago Englishmen who have lived in America long enough to have a keen appreciation of the American idea of a joke. During the evening all the members of the party told stories or sung songs and entertained according to their several abilities. One of the English visitors could see nothing funny in the stories told by the

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THE PIONEER ;j apart, the first being merely a little target practice that did no harm, the second inflicting a serious wound. But there was no time to coach Gustave anew. Said the lawyer: “What were you doing when the first shot was fired?” “I was sitting in the kitchen gnawing a chicken hone,” said Gustave. “And what were you doing when the second shot was fired? Be careful how you answer.” “I was sitting in the kitchen,” said he, “gnawing that same chicken bone.” Not a Rehearsal. The inquisitive man saw a hearse start away from a house at the head of a funeral procession. “Who’s dead?” he asked the corner grocer, who was standing in his door watching the funeral start. “Chon Schmidt,” answered the grocer. “John Smith!” exclaimed the other. “You don’t mean to say John Smith is dead ?’ ’ “Veil, py golly,” rejoined the grocer, “vot you dink dey doing mit him—practicing, hey?”—New York World. A Way of Getting Even. Hewitt—When I asked the old man for his daughter’s hand he walked all over me. Jewett—Can’t you have him arrested for violation of the traffic regulations?— New York Press. In the Kindergarten. Teacher—What comes after “t,” Ruth? Ruth—The fellow what’s going to marry my sister Jane. Wanted Ads. Wanted—A man—Jane Coleman. Only fat men need apply. Wanted—Silence—Miss Murry. But you don’t always get what you want. Wanted—Someone to listen to me talk— “Pete” Smith. Wanted—A girl—Willis Marsh. Wanted—A voice—Margretta Farley. Wanted—Special rates to Neely town— Donald Parker. Wanted—A chance to debate—Mae Carr. Wanted—A “cicero” pony—Earl Roosa. Wanted—Stolen Banner—One stolen by Class ’10. Wanted—Some life—Junior Class. Wanted—Something to make me stop laughing—Bertha S. Wanted—Another election—Junior Class. Wanted—The right to talk without restriction—Harriette H. Wanted—A few girls to jolly—Joe Lewis. Wanted—Some one to listen to my jokes —Elma Abrams. Wanted—A little more “avoirdupois”— Saver Seely. Wanted—Position as Physics teacher— —“Pete” Smith. It must be nice to know “it” all. Wanted—“Order, please”—Miss Hunter. Wanted—A little more patience—Roswell Purdy. Little boy: “Teacher, what is a Junior?” Teacher: “A Junior, my boy, it is a small person with a very large head, the scope of whose mind embraces every thing commonly within the range of human comprehension, and those things which it does not embrace it can readily guess at.”