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Page 80 text:
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team of Mike Gulig and Sheryl Tremlett, who write all of their reports while perched atop the Eiiel Tower. Znd: With the aid of Harvard Professor Craig Hansen, O.U., K.I.D., U.R., M.A.D.. Iim Meyer has perfected his Theory of Irrelevance. Mathematicians Ioanne Fraz-er, lim Leonhardt, Lynn Stohlgren, and lim Zom have just found In- finity. Unfortunately, when they got there, they dis- covered that Dan Homuth, Ierry Steffen, and Bernie Koenig preceded them. ,,'1?9lo- lst: In answer to this dis- covery, effervescent Mary Fick, fast-rising starlet at Rick Franson's 21 Century Wolf Studio. said Who's Infinity? 3rd: Mary is now working on a film with method actor Howard Mauthe. lst: News that rocked Hollywood today was the unconfirmed report that Lyle Hansen just discov- ered the authentic Aborninable Snowman, which was designed by architect Ray Gielow. Top biologist Iennifer Blakely's reaction was GOO. 3rd: Since the Abominable Snowman could only say, Check! , it must have been well-acquainted with Paul Frank. Znd: Ioanne Schiebach offered to curl the Snowman's hair, while Connie Niederhelman said that she might as well do his nails, because Paul Setzer had broken a date with her to go golfing with the President of the United States, Steve McConahey. Caddying for the golfers were Iohn Konz, Ierry Hansel, Dick Plaisance, and Norma Skurnick. .1 lst: Secret service men under the leadership of lim Gaffney surrounded the President: they included Mike Lapcewich, Dave Senger, Iim Macksam, and the President's special bodyguard, Karen Melius. 3rd: Meanwhile, the First Lady of the land, Marge Wiedeman, was watching a gymnastic display by Larry Olsen, Torn Krueger, and Mike Pittler, who had been taught their tricks by Sue Mielke, Mctr- tha Steffen, and Karen Kay Krebsbach. 1 2nd: Following the meet, the First Lady attended a fashion show, where the Margie look was re- vealed by designers Iudy Iones, Monica Let-eber, Ruth Iennings, and Gladys Kolitz. 2 lst: All of Washington turned out for this gala event. Representing Wisconsin were Senators of the Know-Nothing Party Merry Haberkorn, Kay Klipstine, Ruth Halle, Barry Blomfeldt, and Ierry Blati: This party shared headlines with the one thrown by millionaire Karl Schmidt at his Death Valley estate. The event was in honor of a recent purchase of ZV2 Iohnny Walker shirts designed by John Warns. 3rd: Drinks were on the house and that is exactly where everyone was-watching astronauts Amold Albertz and Bob Pruett take off from Vander Velde Air Force Base for the moon. 2nd: But what to the guest's wondering eyes should appear but Iohn Merz's miniature sleigh and eight tiny reindeer: Carol Christiansen, Carol Leu, Kathy Wurtz, Iudy Scannell, Candace Eigen- brodt, Wanda Treptow, Pat Sheridan, and Ioanne Berry. More rapid than eagles his coursers they came, And he whistled and shouted and called them by name: In Christy, on Wurtzy, on Iudy, on Candy: On Wanda, on Sherry, on Berry - and on Carol! To the top of the house, to the top of the wall, Now dash away, dash away, dash away all! And they heard him exclairn as he drove out of sight, ALL: HAPPY FUTURE TO ALL, AND TO ALL A GOOD NIGHT. tExplosionl Page '76
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Page 79 text:
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tices on Ellen Soukup after her frequent trips to fabulous Finland. lst: Competing with the diet shop is Bill Muenter's A 6 W Drive Inn, where Ianet Wilhelms, Carol Zinzow, and Elaine Bari- knecht work as carhops. Entertainment is provided by Larry Anderson's Angus trio, consisting of vocalists Carolyn Col- lins, Ann Gores, and Dave Pino, accom- panied by pianists Iohn Strege and Kathy MacGregor. Once a week Rodney Han- nes presents his unique twist demonstra tion as a special attraction. 3rd: Here Coach Dave Bock treats his uni- versally renowned basketball team - Charlie Bloedom, Tony Meade, Bill Koen- en, Dan Dettman, and lim Kalk - all oi whom ride to and from the games in The Pig. If anything ever happens to The Pig, Gary Aschenbrenner comes to the rescue in his blue Passion Pit, together with the three Spencerian girls, Claudia Moersch, Sue Glaser, and Marlene Voeh- ringer. 2nd: Due to the lack of driving signs, Iudy Retzleff occasionally bombs smack into the drive-in. As soon as Iohn laeger's Sign Co. replaces these signs, which Shei- la Waite secretly spirited off to her bed- room, Iudy's driving should improve. lst: Blasting over the car radio is Steve sAs so e Pitzner's Tonight program, on which he interviews famous celebrities such as Rockefeller Center Rockettes Ieanne Block, Dyana Burke, Sheny Doms, Iill North, Ianet Streeter, Carol Zinzow, and the high-kicking Ron Pemberton. 2nd: Last night Pitzner's guest stars included models Pam Bames and Ann Blamey, and New York Times gossip columnist, Iosie Scharf. Editors of the Times. the largest and most controversial news- paper in the world, are Bruce Petri and Margie Baker. Also on the staff are sports editors Scott Trott and Iay Iohnson: art editors Kay Johnson, Tony McCrary, Marta Schultz, and Mary Lampros: and lovelorn columnists Iudy Mawbey and Iohn Casa- nova Gumz. 3rd: Erhard Voeltz and Ann lobbagy translate foreign correspondence, which is sent over by Russian re- porter Bill DeLorrne, the apparent cause of the new Soviet-American rift: by the Athens correspondents Cynthia 6: lanet George: and Italian newswomen Ioan and Nanette Capelle, who send over all reports via carrier pigeon lim Lee. The toast of Paris is the husband-wife news 2 Page 75
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