Goldendale High School - Simcoe Yearbook (Goldendale, WA)

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FACULTY IDIOSYNCRASIES tA Biography Based on Fictionl MR. JOHNSON-Most conspicuous of our beloved superintendents few quaint characteristics is that of intentionally and severely embarrassing at one time or another, every individual in his U. S. History class. MR. TOVEYaDi-stink-tive of our wizard chemist and mathematician are the creations of his classes in the way of strong and foul odors that penetrate the audi- torium on social occasions. The only danger involved in this di-stink-tion is that of someone suffocating from holding his nose. MRS. STRANAHANaAlthough only this year a member of the forces of G. H. st 0. K35 torder keepersl, our English teach is marked with the trait of looking like a combination of the wise old owl and Cleopatra and with a vocabulary that would stump the quiz kids. MISS BURNETTEaYoung and attractive, one would hardly suspect Miss Burnette of possessing any peculiarities. Only those acquainted with her class-room manner know and understand her habit of giving hair-raising tests. . MISS SMITH-With an almost flawless personality, only one eccentricity dis- tinguishes her from her fellow instructors. The flaw is pulling ears. Perhaps that is the reason lads of the 01d Alma Mater have such large and oddly shaped organs of hearing. MR. GRONEWALD-The proud parent of one very young and handsome son, he is easily identified by his self-satisfied expression and over-sized chest. MR. TAYLOR-A rugged example of physical mis-fitness, Coach displays many unusual qualities as intelligence, patience, and a strong resemblance to superman. MISS BAKERaA cute, cunning cup cake that isnt on the bread line, but knows how to raise the dough. MRS. MILLAY-If you ever should chance to wander down kitchen way around lunch time, Mrs. Millay is sure to be found discussing her hubby With a bushel of beans brewin, before her.

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PRE-BOOS OF COMING RETRACTIONS One evening in the future year of 1963 Ed Freer, owner and manager of the Tar Theatre, is amazed to see many of his classmates of tt43,i in the Snews Reel. Edis 01d maid sister Dot, is selling tickets. The ticket taker, Verbert Crevling, has gone ber- serk and is tearing everything available in two. The feature of the evening is ttFrankenstein Meets Tarzan in a Blackout? starring Frankenstein Sarsfield, with the Sarong King, Norman Dingmon and his mate, Virginia Binns. The auditorium darkens as on the screen appears Snews Commentator Frederic House. He speaks above the fanfare, itCamera Deadlines from the Snews of the Day? tiThese are scenes of the holdup of the uptown restauranteGroves ttGreasy Spoon located next door to Wedgwood's ttSticky Fork? by the Goosebump gang. Leader of the gang, Loren tBabyfacei Storkel, assisted by Jim tMousyi Graham, George tDimplesi Layman and Lois J ean tTootsi Niva, made his get-away with two lumps of sugar and a genuine rubber eraser. uThe world of sports presents the Fish Bowl featuring the Fat Men versus the Bald Men. Star players on the Baldy team are Calvin Linden with his naked dome glistening in the sun and that gruesome guard, Billiard Ball Baggarley. On the Fatty team is Mr. 5x5 Rostad and Bounteous Bread-basket Hansen. On the sidelines note the socialite Charl Davenport selling ttKernel Willyam Sarsfieldis cure-all hair restorer and slenderizer? The Baldy team won the game by a hairis breath. itHere you see the famous Harry Mill Museum. Bouncing ping-pong balls on an ancient old antique are three old bachelor professors, the respective Richards- Dolph, Rude and G055. On second glance, that is not an antique, butithe gay old dowager, Doris Yeley. nFrom the Womanis World comes the report that the former Miss Helen Kelley, seventh wife of that Latin Lover Jim Potter, is suing for divorce on Maxwell House grounds tonly one cup per customer, rationingJ Mrs. Pot, seventh, declares the cause of separation is Bubbles Spalding, night club dancer in Jack Case,s itCock Roach Club? Other employees of the night club are: Bouncer, Gale Algers; Hat-Check Girl, Birdie Dodson and Cigarette Girl, Janice Garner. Miss Kelleyis 7 unfortunate pre- decessors were Miss Dog Patch of 1954, Jerry DeClerk; the woo woo girl, Mabel Henderson; the hotcha-gal, Rosemary Doubravsky; Princess of Hello Hollow, Alice Emerson; Duchess of Shangri-La, June Moore, and the incubator heiress, Hazel Hatch. This is Pills Painless Hospital. The bearded gent with the pliers and saw is the veterinarian in charge, Emmett Hoctor, M. D., I. O. U., C. O. D. and P. U. He and thevnurse, Rosemary Hatfield, are discussing the critical condition of Addison tMa- hatmai Goddard Who is entering the 32nd day of a 79 day fast. The fast is a result of his defeat in the presidential election by Cotton Lawson and his political party of prohibitionists which includes Don Hoctor, Eugene Niva and Harvey Wilson. In this ward is the genius composer, Wally Hornibrook, who is receiving treatment for St. Vitus dance of the tonsil due to too much jive on the basooka. In the bed across the hall is Paul Abshier suffering from x-ray vision resulting from an overdose of carrots. ttRushing down the hall in his pink and purple poka dot zuit suit, Kenny Fisk is carrying a bouquet of celery to Wanda VanHoy who is recovering from that disastrous day 20 years ago when the famous 43rs discovered the author of this psychic dribble? -THE END