Glenville High School - Olympiad Yearbook (Cleveland, OH)

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LAST WILL AND TESTAMENT OF THE CLASS OF JANUARY, 1936 We, the humble subjects of King Jack, of the Class of January ’36, in the glorious court of Glcnville, at the round table in the teachers’ lunchroom, do now make our last will and testament. In possession of all our faculties, we bequeath to our survivors the never ending search for the Holy Grail of Knowledge. May ye prove more successful in your search for it than did we. We bequeath ye our castles wherein each day reposed our hats and coats, and each night our school books. To ve we leave that most fearsome dragon the office bench, which has conquered so many of our gallant knights. Happy we arc to leave to ye who remain behind in Glcnville Courts the temperamental drinking fountains, where many weary searchers for the Grail of Knowledge were drowned, while seeking to refresh themselves. The battle scarred desks which hold so many of our noted signatures, and so many of our hasty memoranda in case of tests, we bequeath ye too. May they do ye as much good in times of uneasiness as they did us. In spite of all our noble efforts to subdue the villainous Black Knights of the Guard System, we admit ourselves defeated. The flower of manhood, yea, the bravery of a Lancelot, the beauty of a Guinevere, and the tears of an Elaine, proved of no avail against the fearsome warriors of Mr. Bahner. They have withstood all attacks and have remained victorious throughout. So the guard system too we leave ye, with the augury that ye will have as little success with it as we. With deep regret we must bequeath the lunchroom, where the Ogre Indigestion, and his Mistress Weak-Wili have destroyed so many of our hapless comrades by feeding them the devil's own stew, that most mysterious concoction—the hot dog. The faculty, released from the strain of pushing stubborn seniors through u course successfully, are worn and weary, and grateful for the brief respite from their labors which our commencement gives them. Treat in kindly and humane manner those of our ranks who were not pushed hard enough hv their pedagogues, and who remain behind. Cherish them and keep them in glorious Glenville until they die of old age if necessary. Behind us remain the foot worn stairs which have borne our many weights, and upon which many of us have sprained ankles and almost broken our necks. They refuse to aid us in our start up the ladder of success. The gushing, gurgling rivulets that trickle down upon unsuspecting necks in room 3 will remain behind as an excellent advertisement for the plumbing trade. The long narrow corridor betwixt the lunchroom and the gym. we leave to any prospective murder mystery writer, or any prospective murderer. It is one of the few spots in glorious Glenville unaffected by guards and loiterers alike. It would of a certainty be a perfect background for one of those steamer trunk murders, as it is just about wide enough to accommodate a medium sized steamer trunk. Those among yc who have acute and delicate senses of smell will find to your regret that we must depart without the odiferous chemistry laboratory that so often fills the upper halls of Glenville Court with pungent, unpleasant odors. There is too, the antechamber of Miss Davies’ office which usually contains many outwardly calm, hut inwardly quaking Glenvillitcs. The time grows near for us to depart. Our heads arc deep-bowed with sadness, but our eyes sliine with a breath-taking feeling of expectation. We crave one final boon. Protect with your lives the various possessions and objects we leave behind, and abuse them with the utmost discretion. Signed-------------King Jack and his subjects. This document having been duly witnessed is declared legal and valid. Drawn up by Notary Public................................Evelyn Schildhouse First Witness ..................................................AJyce Kohn Second Witness .............................................Gilbert Margulis •Unfortunately the desks have been repaired since this document was drawn up and our noted signatures will not descend unto posterity. 30]

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