Glens Falls High School - Red and Black Yearbook (Glens Falls, NY)

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27 THE RED and BLACK Miss Ruth Rockwell, famous lady balloonist. Miss Rockwell carries with her as ballast Mr. Walter Rosenberg and Mr. Ralph Bullock. No, Ralph, you are not going to be tied on the end of the rope. lSee Iroquois for March.l Who is this familiar person now appearing before me? It is Miss Dorotha Wescott, census taker for Ft. Edward. Miss Wescott, having interviewed the entire population of her district fall three of themj, is spending a quiet afternoon at the city hall with Miss Agnes Wiley, Mayoress of Glens Falls. The two public officials are discussing the new tax bill, the latest crochet pattern, and the diHiculty of supporting one's husband in the style to which he has been accustomed. And now the biggest and most exciting scene of all floats before me. l find myself present at a small circus, managed by several of our old friends and being held near a little country hamlet. As l enter the small gate, pushing through the vast crowd feleven in all, to be exactb, l see a sign reading: 'Awkumon Circus Biggest show for its size on earth.' l step up to the ticket booth, and, for a dime, am handed a small piece of pasteboard by Miss Bethenia McCreery. A few steps farther, and the ticket is rudely snatched from my grasp by Miss McCreery, who rushes back to her window to sell it again. As l stroll about the circus grounds l see Alec Silverman as Wild Man- plus a shredded wheat skirt and with much the same ferocious expression he once exhibited as the 'Prince of Morocco., A little farther on l see Miss Dorothy Dickinson, snake charmer, with several sleepy and careworn reptiles twined gracefully around her neck. From the con- tented expression on Dot's face, I gather she is thinking of pay day. ln the next tent a trained flea show is going on, managed by Miss Sara Broomell. As Miss Broomell cracks the whip, the little fleas arrange themselves in a row-then the first hops up and wheels a second in a little wheelbarrow. A third jumps through a hoop, and a fourth does the shimmy. This show is now over and Miss Broomell carefully puts the little animals to bed on a nearby dog. As I emerge from the tent and look about me I see several hicks and hayrubes getting severely sunburned by watching Miss Rose Alter performing her celebrated tight rope act fifty feet in the air. She slips! She screams! A shudder runs through the crowd. No! she is safe. l breathe again. But how undignified, for our valedictorian, Miss Alter, is now suspended screaming in mid air by the in- visible wire which held her in the first place. Near by l see an exciting race going on, with Miss Adeline Irwin, noted jockeyess, urging on her plodding farmhorse.

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THEQRED and BLACK 26 to the Love I..orn.' by Beatrice Nearfacts fonce known as Ruth Doughtyj. Margaret is seeking the answer to her query, 'Shall I marry the village pastor or the janitor?' The wild acclaim of thousands meets my ears with the enthusiastic shouts of 'Norris, Norris, Norris!' In the prize fighting ring I see Wilber Norris trium- phant, while at his feet lie eight fatally injured men laid low by his mighty hand. Mr. Norris is graciously allowing himself to be photographed for the newspapers, having won a purse of 350,000 There gradually comes before me the picture of Kenneth Ellsworth as deacon of the church at Smith's Basin. Dear Deacon Ellsworth seems to be quite the idol of his small congregation-bless his soul! What an uproar! The whir of machinery and the sound of voices meet my ears. In his private office, I see Clendon Bush, editor-in-chief of 'The Daily Blastf Mr. Bush, as usual a great patron of education, has just finished signing a 55,000 check as first prize for a Latin translating contest, conducted by 'The Blastf It may be appropriate to remark here that the winner of the Latin contest is Miss Edna Everts. This time I see a stage, filled with gaily dressed people, and I perceive a musical comedy is being given. The figure which impresses me most is one whom Inow see to be Mr. I-Iarold Lambertson. But how strangely Harold is acting! Has he the St. Vitus's dance, or the shaking palsy? Not so. I now perceive by a program that Mr. Lambertson is hailed as a great exponent of modern jazz dancing. In this scene before me, in the front row of the audience, I see one other familiar figure, namely Simon Yaffee, eminent writer of students' encyclopedias. Mr. Yaffee is making a scientific study of Mr. Lambertson's contortions as material for his new book, 'The Close Relationship between Monkey and Man.' As I gaze far into the future I see that Wallace Reid, our once handsome matinee idol, can no longer hold our interest. But his place is not vacant, for it is now ably held by Harold Austin, who once sprang into national fame as 'Bassaniof As I gaze, I see Mr. Austin reading one of the 2,421 'mash' notes he has received on this particular day from love-sick girls all over the country. S' Alas! To what depths former greatness can sink. I now see our once famous athlete, M. Chapman, but ah! how changed. Poor Monty, broken in spirit, harrassed and henpecked, seems to be on a Sunday outing at Round Pond with his four-year-old son. From this sad scene of wrecked glory I hear his patient voice sayingf'No, no,-Oswald mustn't take home pretty pond in his pocket. Naughty! Naughty! Papa spank!' But let us haste with all convenient speed from this scene of placid domesticity! From one who has sunk to the lowest station of human existence. let us tum our attention to one who has attained the highest point of success. I now behold

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THE RED and BLACK 28 And now the circus is fading away, said Minerva. What is this I see before me? Matilda Atiyeh, a poet, starving in an attic! Icheer up, Matilda, they'll appreciate your work in two or three hundred yearsll Minerva stopped and passed her hand over her forehead. There, I guess I've told you everything, she finished triumphantly. I-Iark! The serpent is coming back-I must go now, and again I heard its clattering folds on the base- ment stairs. Dawn was breaking. A rosy flush was slowly spreading over the east, and the first struggling beams of the sun were lighting up the dusky corners of the hall- way. Minerva arose and placed one foot on her pedestal. l've enjoyed talking to you so much, she whispered, and now I must go. I heard a key turn in the lock-it was the janitor. Perhaps there was yet time for one more question. I seized her robe. Minerva, I pleaded wildly, tell me one more thing-will next year's class be as bright as this one? H But it was too late. I-Ier robe melted from my grasp and once more she stood on her pedestal, coldly and lifelessly beautiful. The momentous question re- mained unsolved, and time alone can answer it. Kalfiryn Eddy. Between optimist and pessimist The difference is droll. The optimist sees the doughnut, The pessimist sees the hole. CLASS OPTIMIST It is scarcely necessary for me to go into details about the achievements and merits of the present Senior Class, since all have had them for a living example for varying lengths of time, beginning with the unhappy Freshmen who have known us only a term, up to the happy teachers who have had us under gentle OJ guidance for four or more years. Naturally every class thinks it is the best class ever gradu- ated, but we have proofs which show beyond a doubt that we are the most excep- tional class the Glens Falls High has ever had to its credit. a We consider ourselves to have done our best work with the late World War problem. Of course everyone is aware that we ended the war, but some may not know how, so for their benefit I will explain briefly. During its course we sent several messages to the Kaiser, telling him exactly what we thought of him. This terrified him exceedingly and he finally took our notes to the Grand Council, where