Glebe Collegiate Institute - Lux Glebana Yearbook (Ottawa, Ontario Canada)

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1 l member-come what may, our motto is 'Play up, play up, and play the game'! Daladier: Still whispering matters unenthusi- astically. Oh yes,-I suppose so. Mussolini: whispering to Hitler. I hope to a pure Aryan that we win. Hitler: reassuringly. Don't worry, we Will. Don't forget I am dealing. Mussolini looks at Hitler with awe and rapture, while cutting the cards. Daladier looks reproachfully at Chamberlain. Hitler deals rapidly-taking his own ha-nd from the bottom of the pack. The four then pick up their cards, and start bidding, starting-for no apparent reason-with Da-ladier. Daladier: I pass. Mussolini: on the principle of the thing. I double!-That is, er, um, I pass too! M ussol-ini looks somewhat embarrassed and shame-faced. Chamberlain: hopefully. I bid an active League of Nations. Hitler: empah-tically. You can have it! I bid a good propaganda campaign. Daladier: I pass. Mussolini: I check. Chamberlain: desperately, Well my hand is good for an honourable settlement, by way of a plan of appeasement. Hitler: Dished again Neville. I bid for the minority rights of Sudetandland, and a future stranglehold on Czecho-Slovakia. And my hand is strong enough to make both bids, too. Chamberlain: Well Adolph, you should know: after all, you dealt. If I was sure you were bluffing I would call you, but- Hitler calmly proceeds to make his bid, having all play in his own hand. Shrieks of joy can be heard from the lawn, M ussolini on hearing them, blushes rosily, and mutters dreamily- Mussolini: My little grandson. He shall be as great as I am. I have nick-named him Little Caesar . Daladier: Tell me frozen-jaw, is that maid really the famous Mme. Benes? Mussolini: with icy dignity. Yes, but she is really nothing. Adolph tells me so. Hitler: as he rakes in a few minor Czech. territories. Yes, as I said before, I am going to have her discharged. -whispering to Mus- Page 30 solini-And pay the new maid out of what we make in this game-eh, Benito? Chamberlain: I say, I wish you wouldn't whisper so. You know jolly well it isn't very polite. Hitler: elated that he has won, and oozing with conjidence. Oh, shut up! What do you think this is, a sewing circle? We're playing at international politics now, and what's more we're playing for keeps! The maid enters with two telegrams ad- dressed to the four of them. She hands them to Daladier who is highly gratified at this mark of attention. He takes them, opens them slowly, and then proceeds to read them in a puzzled voice. Daladier: This one is from Prime Minister Mackenzie King of Canada. He says: Our parliament is somewhat disturbed at vague rumors of trouble Over Theahf' Please set our minds at rest by cabling immediately, so that we may proceed with pressing business of deciding just what our National Anthem is. Otherwise We may have to get a commission, to decide whether or not we should enlarge our al- ready powerful navy. Signed, Mackenzie King, Prime Minister of Canada. Hitler: sarcastically. Oh, take me away, Benito. I am really quite frightened. Daladier: ignoring the interruption. And the other cable is from President Roosevelt. He declares this game is unconstitutional gidlundemocratic. He demands a New ea . Mussolini: groaning. Somebody give him a hot-foot. Chamberlain: Benito Mussolini! I am shock- ed. Such language! Hitler: Il duce is quite right. We do not Want a new deal: we won! Chamberlain, shaken by such straightforward and undiploma-tic language, clutches his um- brella and prepares to make a jlustered exit. Chamberlain: Come Daladier-let ,us leave. The atmosphere here is intolerable. It is evident that these-ah-er-people, have never associated with the Gentlemen of London. Hitler: ignoring Chamberlain's remarks mut- ters to himself. It is a pity we didn't play for higher stakes, but- LUX GLEBANA

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The Eternal Quadrangle lEdiior's Note: Any illusion to persons living or dead are occidental.1 Scene: The Munich room in the house of Europe, Mr. Hitler, Mr. Mussolini, Mr. Chamberlain, and Mr. Daladier are gathered together to play a game of bridge. The four are seated around a bridge table, the legs of which are carved with the heads of daschunds, each one with a pretzel in it's mouth. Mr. Chamberlain and Mr. Dal- adier are playing as partners, while Mr. Hitler and Mr. Mussolini are playing as partners. The room in which they are seated has a French window opening on to a lawn where Mr. Mussolini's grandson is playing. The walls of the room have been recently papered with swastikas. The maid, Mme. Benes, Who is in charge of the Munich room, wanders through the room rather aim- lessly. As the curtain rises, Hitler is seen taking a cigarette and lighter from Cham- berlain, and the conversation around the table is more or less general. Hitler: Well, here we are, all set for an- other meeting. Chamberlain: Yes. Remember the last game we had, Adolphus? Daladier and I are rather in the lead, if I remember cor- rectly. Daladier: politely, Oh oui! Chamberlain: Yes, Yes. We are ahead by a Versailles treaty, and a smashed Ger- many, are we not? Hitler: So you were. Well! we will see how the luck runs this time. I have a feeling we might win, eh Muss.? Mussolini: Whatever you say, Adolphus. Hitler: con-versatlonally, By the way Neville, how do you like these walls? A Chamberlain: Oh the walls are lovely. But I don't like the design on them. Hitler: dryly. I didn't think you would. You see, I created the design myself. In fact I even went so far as to paper the walls, personally. Suddenly a terrific noise is heard from the lawbng a sort of booming followed by some shouts of joy. LUX GLEBANA Daladier: considerably startled. Ma foi! what is that? Mussolini: Just my grand-son playing at soldiers. He takes after me, I guess. Chamberlain: cntt-ingly. Why, Benito, don't tell me you are a grandfather? Why you don't look a day over fifty. Mussolini: innocently. I'm not. Early mar- riages is the secret of our success. The maid Mme Benes. wanders through the roomy Dala-drfer ogles her. Daladier: Ou, La! La! Like gay Paree! Hitler: grrujly. Don't pay any attention to her. I am going to have her discharged and put someone in her place whom I can control. Let us get on with the game. Mussolini: Yes, Yes, of course. Let me see ' -I will cut, and Adolph will deal, and- Chamberlain: t-riamphantly. But if you cut Benito, then I deal, not your partner. Mussolini: Heavens, Neville, we couldn't trouble you to do so much. You must be very tired after all your house-cleaning with John Simon, and Hore-Belisha. Chamberlain: modestly. It's really nothing at all. We learn our work on the cricket fields of Eton. Daladier: By the way Nevvy, will the aeroplanes you are constructing in the Canadian wing of your house be finished yet? Chamberlain: I'm not just sure. I haven't seen any of them yet. Mussolini and Hitler exchange signfzjicanl glances. Hitler: brusquely. 'Well, back to the game. What will the stakes be this time? Mussolini: Let us have high stakes! Chamberlain: Oh decidedly. That is what I always say. If you are going to play at all, you might as well make the game worth while. Hitler: No, not at all. Let us have low stakes for the present. Benito and I want to see how our luck is running before we play to win. Mussolini: a.dm'ir1Tngly. Right once more, Adolph. Low stakes it is. Daladier: whispering. I hope to heavens we win! Chamberlain: In a loud voice. Yes, but re- Page 29

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Chamberlain: pacing up and down. I suppose you think you have Won? threateningly Well, remember the British Bulldog! The strong silent British character: our utter calm in the face of difficulties! Mussolini: simply. The imbeciles. Daladier: to himself. I shudder to think of the cartoons in Punch over this affair. Hitler: nervously. And what that old pelican George Bernard Shaw will write-Huh! He thinks he can write. I'll bet he knows less' about dictating than I do about writ- ing. Chamberlain: impatiently. Enough of this twaddleg come Daladier. But remember, you-he sputters trying to think of an ea:- pressive word-You two old spiders! the Next time we play, a bid for appeasement is chucked. Exit Chamberlain. Daladier: politely. Good-bye gentlemen. Re- member our next game. It is the African suite, I think. Exit Daladier. Mussolini: Well, Adolph, I guess we won. Hitler: speaking more brusquely now they are alone. Yes of course: I expected to. But don't bother me, I must write another chapter to Mein Kampf ,-a sort of diary I am keeping! ' Once more a terrific noise can be heard from the lawn. Hitler: For heavens sake, Mussolini, will you stop that brat from making such a racket? Mussolini: Why that is little Caesar playing at soldiers-innocently, Just like I do. Hitler: I should know about that. Mussolini grows red, as he realizes the fu-ll meaning of Hitler's words. Finally he stalks out of the room, muttering fiercely to himself. Hitler: At last I am alone.-That reminds me, I must go to Austria tomorrow, to meditate in my old cell-good for my soul.-Well, nothing as stimulating as a good game of cards I always say 5 especially if you win-I hate to think what would have happened if Chamberlain had got that bid, though. I must be careful to deal again in 1940.- Scene closes with Hitler writing in a little black book that looks like a diary. . He grows agitated at what he writes. Finally his actions -reach a feverish pitch of excitement. Sud- LUx GLEBANA de-nly he drops his book and springing to his feet, he raises his right hand in the N azi salute. As the curtain closes he roars out- HEIL HITLER. Curtain. Pk Pls 4- The international Affairs Club N THIS year of what might be termed Perpetual Crisis, when two democracies, Czechoslovakia and Spain, have been lost to the Democratic Front of nations, and the prospect of war brought closer, a situ- ation fraught with fearful Cand tearfulj meaning to all our boys and girls, the Inter- national Affairs Club has had less interest shown in it than in previous years. Per- haps it is because the students have become blase with regard to crises. At any rate it is intended next year to reorganize the me- thod of carrying on the work with the object of inducing a larger number of pupils to take part both in formal public speaking and informal discussion. Not that some good work was not done this year. Besides some outside speakers, among whom were Miss Ruth Ellis, who gave us firsthand information about Aus- trian refugees, and the Rev. I. R. Craig who spoke on Democracy's Greatest Chal- lenge, a number of debates were held. Resolved that a democracy confers more beni- flts on the people under it than does a dic- tatorship was the subject of one. In this debate, Miss Elizabeth Serson and Harold Willis for the affirmative defeated Eric Cowan and Frank Palen. Miss Serson did particularly well. Both with logic and rhetoric she demolished the fiimsy edifice the exponents of dictatorship reared. Miss Ruth Agulnik and George McLean were less successful in convincing the judges, Miss Gilhooly, Mr. MacNamara, and Mr. McHugh, that the Russia's form of govern- ment was preferable to that of Germany's. The officers of the International Affairs Club were: Advisory President-C. J. THOMS President-KEITH MCCAFFERY Vice-President-ELIZABETH DRAYTON Secretary-MURRAY DOBIER Committee-DOROTHY BAKER Page 31