Glebe Collegiate Institute - Lux Glebana Yearbook (Ottawa, Ontario Canada)

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There was a young man of Bel- grave Who lived all alone in a cave, Each morning at nine He plunged into the brine And floated back home on a wave. Miss Laidlaw Cin health classi' Give an example of fattening food. Barbara Sawyer: Peanuts, Miss Laidlaw: How do you know? Barbara: Why, look at the elephant! B. Baird: Ought I to be pun- ished for something I have never done? Mr. Ralph: Of course not. Baird: Cheaving a sigh of reliefl I haven't got my French done. The Seven Stages of Courtship. 1. Miss Margaret so-and-so. 2 . Margaret. 3 . Maggie. 4. Kid. 5. Darlingest. 6. Dear. 7. Hi, you! While learning to shoot in the corps A private looked into the borps Of another man's gun Who partly for fun, Let it off and forgot to shout Forps . You cannot get eggs without hens , said a teacher stressing a point. I know somebody who can, piped a voice from the back. Please explain yourself, said the teacher irritably. He keeps ducks, was Mac- Fold's reply. A NEW RECIPE FOR GLEBE STEVV. A mother asked her first-form son to take down a radio recipe. He did his best, poor boy, but got two stations at once. One was a morning exercise, the other was the recipe. This is what he wrote down. Hands on hips, place one cup of flour on the shoulders, raise knees and depress toes and mix thoroughly in one cup of sour milk. Repeat six times. Inhale quickly one half teaspoonful of baking soda, lower legs and mash two boiled eggs in a seive. Exhale, breathe naturally and sift into a bowl. Attention! Lie flat on the floor and roll the white of an egg backwards and forwards until it comes to the boil. In five minutes remove from heat and rub smartly Page 1 02 ' with a rou h towel. Dress in warm E flannels and serve with fish chips. Miss Muir: Aren't you the same man I gave the biscuits to last week? Tramp: No, Miss, and the doctor says I never will be again. Marilyn: This make of lip- stick is quite popular with the girls. 7Betty: Er. . Do the boys like it. Mr. Shannette: You're the slowest boy I've ever seen. Aren't you quick at anything? Doug. Moon: Yes, sir, no one gets tired as quickly as I do. Mr. Edey: flocking at son's reportj What's the meaning of this? Donald: Yes, Dad, couldn't you sue them for libel? SCHOOLBOY HOWLERS The inhabitants of the Island of Crete are called creatures. Cowhide is very useful in many ways and serves to keep the cow together. Some queer people--William of the Oranges: Cardigan Wolseyg Joan of Arc was Noah's sister. A pawnbroker's sign of the three balls means that it is two to one that you do not get it out again. A monologueis a conversation between two people such as teacher and pupil. A vacuum is nothing shut up in a box. After I wash my face I look in the mirror to see if it's clean. Don't you? Don't have to. I just look at the towel. Wlll1o is belle to-night? asked s e, As they stood on the dance-hall floor. He looked around the room to see, And she spoke to him no more. She Hunked in Latin, failed in French. We heard her sadly hiss, 1'd like to find the guy who said That ignorance is bliss . CURSES AND BLESSINGS Regular and devastating drop- per of bricks-Reputation for refreshing candour. Corn on little toe-Excuse to avoid walk with Cedric. Np ear for music-Don't have to listen to concerts. dFrail finances-Can't be touch- e . Poor conversationalist-Always get more to eat at dinner. Never offered seats in 'buses- Good for the figure to stand. Bushy eyebrows-Adore pluck- ing them. Never recognize a hint-Never feel insulted. Always squeeze toothpaste in middle-Good for toothpaste trade Rarely get invited out-No circles under eyes. Often lose key and enter house by window-Wonderful topic for neighbours' tea parties. Always tell same story to same person-They know when to laugh. Never understand a joke-AL ways mistaken for a perfect lady. Poor opinion of self-Never disappointed in other peop1e's. LETTERS TO THE EDITOR. Dear Editor: I can't eat, I can't sleep, and I can't even do my homework and so I come to you. Please help me. I, am only a first- former and I am possessed with a mad obsession. I yearn to stroke a Fifth-Form Boy's hair. Every day I wait for him to pass. His hair is so beautifully waved and alluringly dampened I can't resist it. What shall I do? He is so superior. YEARNING. Dear Yearning: You must try to control your mania. Try laying out spaghetti in a reasonable facsimile and stroke it tenderly. If this does not work, wait in a dark corner on top of a step ladder and with a special dispensation from Heaven you may be able to reach his lofty brow. My dear Editor: O, we abused first-formers with our trials and tribulations! Some- one ought to write an essay on, Looking at a First Former . The second-formers look down on us. The Third-formers look over us. The fourth-formers look the other way. The fifth-formers don't even look,-they don't know we're there. Alack and alas! QEditor's note-with apologies to Mr. Atkinson for the Limericksl. LUX GLEBANA

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' 1 School Class Pins AND SCHOOL PRIZES Having at our disposal the unique facilities of the Birks Craft Shops, we are enabled to offer original suggestions for every requirement in School Class Pins and Fraternal Jewellery Designs and estimates furm'sh.ed upon request HENRY BIRKS 8: SONS LIMITED 101 SPARKS STREET OTTAWA Gordon Beattie: Ugh! There was a Worm in that apple. Donna Maclennan: Here, take a drink of water and Wash it down. G. Beattie: Wash it down nothing! Let the beggar walk. Compliments qf Weldon J. Graham Ltd. l ' Drugs and Soda Fountain 90 SPARKS ST. PHONE 2-4837 Jim Kenney: Say, barber, have you got another razor? Barber: Yes sir! Why? J. K. If this keeps up, I'd like to defend myself. l Phone 7-1042 TWINS BEAUTY SALON Specialists in haircutting, F ingerwaving, Oil Treatments, Etc. Quality Permanent Waves 1101 Bronson Ave. Ann and Helen Walter