Glebe Collegiate Institute - Lux Glebana Yearbook (Ottawa, Ontario Canada)

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Edited by H. WILLIS H . H A L L I Don't Want to be a Teacher There are many things to do in life A-glitter with romance, A thousand things for me to do If I could get the chance. Oh I could don a pair of tights And rent a cobra snake To twirl and swirl about my feet -Oh, what a pair we'd make! Or I could take up dancing, The high-falutin' kind, Clad in Grecian costume With ribbons down behind I could maybe take up acting, And against the public's jeers I would wail and groan and gnash my teeth And drown the stage in tears. I could study medicine And know the different ills, I could operate on spare ribs And dole out liver pills. I could study art and draw Long and drooping noses, And pictures of the human form In odd and grotesque poses. Or maybe I could write a book Of murders dark and gory, -Of death beneath the butcher's bed 'Twould make a lovely story! I could be a siren too, With a list of torrid lovers And write my love-life in a book With flaming scarlet covers. I could even be a garbage-girl And cast off social fetters To go through all the garbage cans And piece up all the letters There are many lovely things to do Each with a tempting feature But one thing I can say that's sure I'll never 'never be a teacher! HATTIE HALL-5C. Page 98 Thoughts Before the Latin Authors Exam Give me a garland, Put it on my head, Deck me with sweet flowers As one who shall be dead, Forth upon the morrow A sacrifice I'm led To suffer at the altar of teachers who must know What I have learned, what I do know, a What they already know. On that dreaded morning A gloomy day 'twill be, The sky will have bad omens, And heads ache bitterly And Virgil shall turn in his grave In far-off Italyg s His gems are at the altar of teachers who must know What I have learned, what I do know, What they already know. An innocent indicative With false names I shall heap O Aeneas, and Dumnorix In peace you shall not sleep. And from his place in Heaven's vault Brave Julius shall weep His works die at the altar of teachers who must know What I have learned, what I do know, What they already know. But should I do well, What glory shall be mine! What lovely marks await me From the teacher's pencil line! Scholastic oak shall shade my brow Master, should you incline To honour me at the altar of teachers who must -know What I have learned, what I do know, What they already know. ANONYMOUS. Slogan of Macbeth Cleaners QGrand Ra- pids, Michiganj: Out, Damned Spot. Blessed are the meek for they shall ir- ritate the earth. LUX GLEBANA

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SKI TEAM E. Hsccrvmr, N. HUNT, E. Ran-m, D. Pmcm, P. Coma, J. Fmrr, J. Mmns, A. AULT. Ski Club Winners-H. Southam Trophy Winners-F. E. Ault Trophy Winners-Dr. Baird Trophy Winners-Kirby Trophy Winners-Gray Trophy Honomry President J. W. MACLENNAN P1-eszfdenz E. HEGGTVEIT V ice-President A. AULT Secretary-Treaswrerr D. GRAHAM HIS YEAR the Glebe Ski Club en- joyed one of its best years. Fine weather conditions prevailed through- out the winter months and the Glebe skiers demonstrated their superior speed and skill in all their races. At Camp Fortune, the second Week in January, a difficult iive-mile cross-country course was run to determine the personnel of the teams. Eugene Heggtveit, Dave Price, John Fripp and Norris Hunt, by finishing in that order earned a place on Glebe's number one team for the season. On January twenty-seventh, Glebe en- tered four teams in the Southam Trophy race. The first team of Heggtveit, Price Fripp and Hunt won the race and the second team consisting of Ault, Mears, Code and Rettie finished second. Individ- LUX GLEBANA ual honours went to Eugene Heggtveit who covered the five-mile course three minutes ahead of his nearest rival, Dave Price. The following week at Skiskule the Glebe number one team recaptured the Frank E. Ault Trophy. Johnny Fripp defeated seven- ty other contestants to Win the giant slalom race and help bring another cup to Glebe. On the eleventh of February a Glebe team consisting of Fripp, Mears, Code, Rettie and Price retained the Dr. Baird Trophy. In winning the race Johnny Fripp established a new record on the Cote du Nord with the astonishing time of one minute and seven seconds. Under the auspices of the Cliffside Ski Club, the Kirby and Gray Trophy races were held at Skiskule on February eighteenth. By nosing out a strong Ottawa Technical School aggregation, the Glebe team of Price, Mears, Rettie, Hunt, and Acton captured the Kirby Cup. The individual Gray cup went to Dave Price Who must be congratulated for his exceptionally fast time over the gruelling three and a half mile course. Due to an epidemic of the 'fiu, the fifth annual Inter-City Interscholastic compet- ition had to be postponed. Page 97'

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SCHOOL FIFTH FORM NEWS THOUGHTS-'N'--THINGS In the study every day, oh how to pass the time away? Of course it's fun the way they make us walk around the room, and take our seats according to the way we took them every other day. But after all, we did that when we were in Kindergarten! Then, we might, perhaps, write out our long-for- gotten homework. But that's wrong! To study in the study! Why, that's one thing you and I, -the favoured Fifth-would never dare! A revolution then and there would shake the world! So let me say, to those who'll come to Glebe some day, the study is the place where you can do what you would like to do. BUT! If you want to stay in there, remem- ber this,-don't EVER dare to study in the study! Son, that's one thing that is never done! No account of Fifth Formers would be complete without- BRIGHT SAYINGS OF CHILDREN James Browning Roe: An 'op- timist' is someone who borrows money to buy a pocket-book. Roy McGregor Watt Junior: 'Belle' is the feminine of gong. Donna McClennan: A 'sculptor' is a man who makes faces and busts. Keith McCaffrey: 0uch! Miss Cowie: What's wrong, McCaffrey? The McCafI: I've just been in a terrible railway accident. Miss Cowie: CAmazedJ How's that? The McCaff: My train of thou- ght has just been de-railed. GOSSIP AND ADVICE by ELSIE OH! Note to readers, from Elsie Oh! Dear Readers:- Elsie is only one person, although she has written in 'we's', and you'll do us a very great favour, if you'll keep us both singular, please. CWe know that the pronoun is plural, and to 'single' it's break ing the rule. But rules are just made to be broken, and what better place than in school?J So 'we' singular bid you adieu now, and 'we' plural all echo our LUX GLEBANA I EWS... cry. We hope we have made our- selves clear now, so we scram now, so long, and good-by. ELSIE OH! Dear Elsie Oh! My social life is in retreat,- abused, and badly beaten! Why is it I must always meet a girl who hasn't eaten? Please advise a course of action to eliminate this faction. Perplexed fan, BERQTIE WANLESS. Dear Bertie:- Don't let it get you down, my boy, it's just the way of the hoi- polloi. But treat them to corn on the cob some day, and you'1l soon iind them going the opposite way. Yours, ELSIE OH! Last night, while snooping a- round the town, in a blinding storm that was whistling down the highway by that famous Club, QT's, you know, but we can't mention names, it's advertising, you dublj CWell, it rhymes, does- n't it?D your reporter saw, in the darkest nook,-we know it isn't polite to look into dark corners with nary a knock, but we were prepared for the thrillingest shock, -and into the recess we haltingly peered and we found something worse than we had even feared- EMPTY! I We, Ccollectively, individually, and quite literallyb nearly fainted. QUIZZ. Who corresponds to these im- mortal Casanovas of History and -ah-History. Dante and-CDid somebody say Inferno?J fWell, maybe that's not so far Wrong after all.D Argyle Connely- Beth Barclay- Nelson-CNo, my pets, not Jan- ette.J Roy Watt-fany ten constitute a full answer.J INNUENDOES IN THE CLASS-ROOM. Mr. Thoms: The cost of learn- ing to fly will soon be no more than from a few dollars or so upwards. Q Marg B.: And practically noth- mg at all downwards! Teacher: We read in encyclo- pedia that the Arabians were the first to learn the secret of distilling alcohol. Gordon B.: That would ex- plain more than a few of those celebrated 'Arabian Nights'. Teacher: Weavers in Jamaica are now making sports coats out of banana fibre. Archie H.: That, no doubt, is to make them easier to slip on and peel off. Teacher: A statistician says that women spend eighty-seven cents out of every dollar. Edward R.: Such a woman would be a jewel. Most of them spend 51.37. Allan J.: Any dry wine is help- ful in seasickness. Kay D.: Any dry land is good too. INTERPRET, TRANSLATE, OR DECIPHER. Scintillate scintillate, globule vivific, Fain would I know thy nature specific. Loftily poised amid ether cap- acious, And somewhat resembling the gem carbonacious. Cryptogamus concretion never grows On mineral fragments that decline to repose. Ornithological specimens of homo- geneous appendages are of a gregarious nature Invisible, insane. Of too high a temperature to be conveniently dealt with. Concerning rodents, and the high- est form of animal life. Would you be so kind as to lead me to the path which will take eventually to my domain? Which teacher, during the in- fluenza epidemic, congratulated the class on the number of people who had written an all-correct test, sayingg You have done quite well, considering you are only half here! ? Of which teacher is this the fa- vourite expression? All right, children, if you want to whisper, go ahead, but keep it down to a roar. Page .99