Glebe Collegiate Institute - Lux Glebana Yearbook (Ottawa, Ontario Canada)

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UX GLEBANAGXQQQ- ten yards long and games lasted seventy min- utes, there was an obscure wing on an obscure prep school team which, to the admiration of all beholders, had held a bigger opponent scoreless for sixty minutes and now found itself possessed of the ball on its own five yard line. All its kickers were injured and the obscure wing, who had never kicked a ball in his life, was called on to do a forlorn hope behind the goal. It was a very windy day and the obscure wing kicked the ball quite a long distance straight up in the air where the gale was at its best. It carried the ball to midfield where the kindly egg did a high hurdle over the safety man's head and hopped on down the sloping field to the five yard line, a net gain of a hundred yards. The fact that the opposing coach, doubling as umpire, called the play back merely goes to show that the best-intentioned egg is powerless in the face of man's inhumanity to man. There is one, however, which bids fair to stand at the head of the list forever, for it is inconceivable that my oblate spheroid will evei be able to equal it. Dartmouth was the victim. Down at the Polo Grounds, Dartmouth Univer- sity was having a good chance to beat the Princeton team. This game was tight for three periods with Dartmouth a shade better. In the fourth period, Princeton set their kicker to drop-kick from the forty-five yard line. He was an excellent kicker, but he foozled this one completely. It barely cleared the Hnger-tips of the Dartmouth line and did a nose-dive to the ground not more than twenty yards from its point of departure. It went lurching drunk- enly ahead for another fifteen or twenty yards and, in a sudden burst of joyous exuberance, leaped over the Dartmouth cross-bar. That moment was probably the high crisis in Bill Langford's long and brilliant career as a foot- ball referee. He said the darn thing was a field- goal. Dartmouth protested that it was not. It simply could not be, it was manifestly an act of insanity and that the ball ought to be sent to an institution. Langford pointed out that the rules made no provision for insane conduct on the Part of the ball-they merely specified that if, when drop or place kicked, it passed over the cross-bars or uprights, it scored a field-goal. A ball with a Dartmouth bias might have done important things to the final result of the game which was a Princeton victory. Later other incontrovertible authorities rallied round and nA,Sf ALERE FLAMMAM saved one of the best referees from results that might have descended on him out of Dart- mouthis wrath. Thereafter, the rule carried this added reservation, In no case shall it count a goal if the ball, after leaving the kicker's foot, touches the ground before passing over the cross-bar or uprightsf' Thus the rules are closing in a little to cramp the style of the delightful old egg. And now the coaches, in their crusade to dehumanize football and make the world safe for coaching systems, are beginning to tinker a little with the size and shape of the ball. It is something to view with alarm! Half the charm of the game lies in the spontaneous nuttiness of that old oblate spheroid. Before they get through they will have it converted into a safe and sane cube with carrying handles. Or, maybe, they will abolish the ball entirely and play the game on blackboards. T-Q-qQ+ AT THE DENTlST'S by MARY BRUCK, 5-A I sat there, all a-quiver. A story in my lap. I could l1Ot hide a shiver. When, Next! came, with a tap. I rose with knees a-shaking, And blundered to that room. From head to foot still quaking, I went to face my doom. A white form loomed before me- The cause of all my fear. A faintness then came o'er me, For he was coming near. Then, in the chair, he placed me, My mouth, he opened wide, When with a bib he'd graced me, He poked around inside. Next, he began the drilling. I kept my eyes shut tight. He said, Just that small filling Is all we'll do to-night. 4126?

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UX GLEBANAQEQQ- fog'-QPALERE FLAMMAM HOW SILLYFIRJIQHESOLSK AN EGG T A FTER CAREFUL research I found that Rugby football began with the kicking of an infl ated pigls-bladder, back in the Middle Ages. They have civilized the bladder into a leather ball but, apparently, nobody ever thought of modifying its nonsensical contours. And Columbus and Humpty Dumpty notwith- standing, to the contrary, you cannot make an egg behave in a logical manner. A soccer ball is round, a baseball is round, a basketball is round and so are golf balls, hand- balls, ping pong balls, polo balls, billiard balls and marbles. Lawn bowls are merely a trifle lopsided and there is a reason for that. Even a hockey puck is round, if you look at it in the right way. Only this rugby football thing per- sists in remaining an oblate spheroid, with all the idiosyncrasies of conduct for which the spheroid family is so justly celebrated. lt does not roll, like other balls-at least, not much. It hops, and usually it hops in the other direction. It is expected to do practically everything that all the other sporting balls, combined, are expected to do, and several things besides that no round ball in its right mind would think of attempting. That a thousand football coaches come forth, eager and starry-eyed, every September, with brand- new sets of blackboard charts designed to con- trol the conduct of this insane egg bears testi- mony to the unquenchable optimism of the human race. We set out to drop-kick, place- kick unt throw and carr the ludicrous GEORGE H. ASKWITH 4-D Many tales of exploding balls can be re- counted, even among these leather eggs. In a Canadian College game about ten years ago, a kicked ball went limp just as it dropped into the arms of the safety man. He grabbed it by the slack of the pants, and having both hands free for straight-arming, went the route to a touch- down. Another time a drop-kicked ball col- lapsed in the air and settled across the goal-bar. The kicking team claimed that the part hanging inside constituted a Held-goal, the defenders asserted that the outside half was a missed goal. They claimed a touchback. The referee, being quick in the seat of the intellect and much ,attached to his life, declared both teams offside and ordered the play made over again. No one can remotely estimate the number of football results that have hinged on the avid eccentricities of the ball. It is an every-game experience to see punts hop right up to the goal line and then hop away and snuggle down to rest, bringing woe and maybe a touchdown to the miserable defenders. Sometimes it seems as though, throughout a game, the ball was deliberately taking sides. However, the ball for all its cussedness is not always on the side of the unrighteous. Years ago when Helds were one hundred and monstribsity, high, wide and hahdsome on thirty thousand square feet of turf or -T Q mud, every Saturday or week day K-. A ,,.- t kfgfxa' f and then wonder that the rest of W lffffe wk fx? ' the week is too short to explain ' ! QQ K 5 Z mxll Q., the inexplicable things that happen. j E p t x Amt Footballs began acting queer 'X Ml' 'll right at the start. During the first 7 K -- B-,EZ - X Yale-Princeton squabble in 1873, the ball got XX N195- K X stepped on or kicked two ways at once. lt N ' said, Ol and collapsed. It was half an hour X N03 or more before the New Haven sports shops 'jgfis could be made to produce another example of X ' the rare genus. The ball, however, was one of the round, rubber things that blew up with a brass key. alz 5 . .,..,... , .....,........,.... ..,.n..'u11nil5E f' 1 le

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UX GLEBANAGXQQQ HIS FACE WAS OU,RIC A FOOL, Bill , said Stephen, placidly watching the smoke of his cigar curl mistily upward. VVhy don't you quit that busi- ness? Photographers model! Why, it's been ages since we've been down for a swim together. You canlt go ski-ing-you can't go out when there,s moisture in the air- all because you have the perfect head of hair. It isn't decent, Bill-it isn't manly ! CC The cause of this burst of rhetoric was a slim, well-featured young man in the early twenties. His hair was black, curly and luxuriant. Care- fully groomed, it surmounted a clean-cut, youthful face. His chin was determined, and his eyes held a gleam that bespoke ambition. They were sitting together, Stephen I-Iayeock and Bill Lester, two life-long friends, in the former's study. Stephen was a short, thick-set chap with beetling brows and whimsieally lined eyes. The older of the two, he had taken it upon himself to give the other some advice. It's no use, Steve , replied Bill, quietly. '4Heaven knows, I've waited long enough for a job and now that I've found this, I wonlt give it up just because you think it's sissifiedf' Last night , broke in Steve, testily, I saw your picture in a magazine-'Scalpo Hair Tonic made my hair what it is to-day!7 Why, you know as well as I do that you never used the stuff ! Every time I pose for a picture like that I get ten dollars, Steve , said Bill, impressively. What if I do have to give up a few games and parties? If my hair is my bread and butter- .l'm going to look after it. I'm taking out insur- ance on it in the morningn, he continued, with I1 broadening smile as he watched the look of disgust on Steve's face. I suppose you wouldn't care to join me in a little fishing to-morrow? I've got the old shack all fixed upw, said Steve, difiidently. Sorry, Steve , said Bill, regretfully, but thatis too dangerous. My hair would dry out in that air, and besides, I've an appointment with the photographer to do some shots'for the Slapstick Hair Oil Co. to-morrow at four. So long, old man. Sorry you canlt see my way of thinking. QSPALERE FLAMMAM HIS FORTUNE Wx lvmlllllff gf ' 'I- ,ww Wm ff ,Z X 1 1 I fgfyfwggwfxx ,y l XJQQS JOHN LAPP 5.3 of ses, - ' -' , 'gf' of 7'-' It ff fl rw 1' if K ny, L V I 0 in ,ii ,ji hu.. W . Qi -,I .. lf- , M lf' gn, 4 ,.., ui A ,Q iffy, , -t - :,- f - f?Q4 Blf4BX3557 ' Wfle', fix f' . 1, - N., -Q-xv Jr. 'LGood-night , said Steve, gloomily, as he watched Bill go briskly off. It might be imagined from the above dialogue that Bill lacked ambition, and was content to remain in his rather undignined position. Bill, however, simply considered his present job a stepping-stone to higher things. His ambition was to be a commercial artist and he considered his present work a possible means of attaining his goal. He had submitted several layouts to Gregory, the chief of the Art Department of the Acme Advertising Agency and was waiting eagerly for the result. In another part of the city, a more residential section, unknown to himself, Bill was being discussed. Father , said the disturbingly beautiful girl, to a disturbingly ugly old man whom, much against our will, we must take for her father, Who is this young man you have posing for the Scalpo ad.? I think he's just too cute. By these words the young lady intended to convey that she considered the young man very hand' some. Oh, that's young Lester, I believe , said her father, rather irritably. Ratoff picked him up somewhere and he has him posing for all the Hair Tonic ads. Oh, by the way, Sylvia, look over these layouts for me-they're by that same young fellow-W lConIinucd on Page 60 427k