v 9- 'Y' 55551- 'fl-WE' .,,, ' 93 ' N y.. Qht g wiht In Defense ofthe Nose The most degraded, abased, and humiliated feature of the human face-the nose-has been completely forgotten: except, as a hay fever sufferer will tell you, during the months of Sep- tember and October. It has been socked , slapped, nipped, and broken: tortured by handker- chiefs: pinched by eye glasses: powdered: pressed against window panes: hit by flying baseball bats: twisted, twitched and forced into all sorts of spasmodic contortions. lt has been thrust into other peoples business and used as a woman's salutation to her inferiors fat a certain slantj. Things have been balanced on them-anything from a rubber ball to a set of china ware: they are an aid to little children in eating: acrobats hang suspended by them: philosophers hang mustaches or beards on them. Indeed it is the point of highest interest of the homo-sapien-istic countenance: the climax of the face. Alas! however it is a thankless life this mistreated organ lives. Before we go further. to understand better the fated lot of the nose, we had best describe a bit about the genders, personalities, and character of the nose, generally speaking. To begin with, there is a masculine nose and a feminine one-though few people know it. They differ in vari- ous ways and functions. Such as: a. The .feminine of the species is more apt toward-what has come to be known commonly- smelling a rat or detecting something rotten in the state of Denmark . The masculine nose has not a gift in the art of such. What little ability there is may be totally obliterated by shrewd handling. b. The feminine is able to be stuck into other people's business with a great deal more ease than the masculine. The latter, indeed, tends toward bashfulness: hence, the mustache for it to hide behind. c. The feminine would rebel at a punch in the nose : the masculine thrives on it. d. The feminine can live at a higher elevation than the masculine. e. The feminine is known to sigh, sniff, and sob: the masculine emits grunts, grumbles, snorts. and cigarette smoke. The two are alike only in that both have what may be called dual or split personalities . . .They lead double lives. In the world of literature we find no odes, sonnets, not even a simple lyric to the nose . . . Cexcept for the like of Cyrano de Bergerac whose nose has brought down nothing but universal contempt and ridicule upon all noses and which we shall please forget for the nosels sake . . . H The poet compares the eyes of his heroine with deep, limpid pools of blue for whatever color particularly appeals to himj: her lips are like rubies : her teeth as pearls : her brow fair as the day . . . but what of the nose? ls it endowed with beautiful similes? Could he not give it a line or two? To be metrical about it: for instance, her nose like a rose or the end of a hose , perhaps-but the poet is merciless. The nose is an outcast from description: a fugitive from elaboration . . . The nose shall never hnd a champion among the realm of poets. Nor is it made fatuous among the annals of history. Achilles glorified the heel: Madame de Pompadour, the lock of hair: and a certain Captain jenkins went so far as to have a war fought over his ear. Not once does the historian mention the nose. Do we know the character of Alulius Caesar's nose fexcept that it was a Roman nosej? or that of Napoleon or Christopher Columbus? 'I hroughout the ages this instrument of smell has been the victim of unsung exist- ence. Perhaps if it had been ornamented or decorated, it would not have been so shunned . . . fan exception are the Oriental rings which we overlook for they bring nothing but pain to the mind of any nosej . . . Wfomen of all civilizations have worn rings in their ears, necklaces around their necks, and bracelets on their wrists. They rouge their lips and cheeks but the nose again is forgotten-as in poetry and history, so in beautification. A dab of pastel upon the tip of the nose, a chain with a watch or locket attached, hanging from it fwhich could be called a noselet or noselace j would do much to heighten the morale and social standing of the nose . . . The next time you are following your nose around do not despise it . . . Praise it! Love it! You are greatly indebted to it and it is so unappreciated. -Mary Ann Taber, '45. C575 ss Q. s 'ttf sa ., .g?ff2'2g,sf i' Q1 V g d. 3, -f
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' ffl fi A tl' ic N 5 Q 4 if if 4 LYQN y y' 'L QM' x AX Qbllk it .-N.t y gy wiv 'fi' We 1' -?-5' The Calendar l eln'uary 2lst-Miss Whitaker threatens to tell 'l'.IJ.l'. il' usual cloths are not restored by Montlay. lfebruary 22ml-jane tlecitles to become a sezunstress. She begins by heuuning eraser cloth. February Qflrtl-'l'iltla learns to bleach. February 29th-O niy! 'l'hey're either too young or too oltl. March flrtl-Many happy returns of the clay, Miss Dully! March tith-Senior Class tries to get partners for May Day. lhey cliscoyer one half ol' class wearing blue, the other hall green antl tlecitle on purple May Day. March Nth-Machine Age cotnes to G.l'.S. March Sith-lfreslunan at work capturing spy in 'he Missing l.ink . Marcli lllth-l'ractice begins for the tlrzunalic club play. March l5th-Miss llully says the saps are rising : il tnttst be spring. March ltith-Seniors go to glass works. 'l'hriving business between Paltnetto antl Alton Park al all tlrug stores. March l7th-Wherc's the Static? March 2Ith-Dramatic Club l'lay. Miss Ginger. Matltlin appears at witulow slightly tlutub. Hol- lantl burnetl eliminating eggs. March 27th-AA'here's Malnic's hanuner? March Illst-Senior Day-Seniors play the fool as usual. April Qllll-Avlll'I'L' is the Static? April flrtl-Megalomaniacs. Sl'llll0lllll'Cllll'S, antl nia- nic-tlepressives inyatle the Senior Class. April 5th-Matltliu turns pink. atlverlises sotne-crA a-personals. April lith-Emeline tnakes trip to the attic. April llth-Annual Board hartl at work. April lllth-Where are Miss Whitaker's scissors? .April llth-Where are Miss jarnagin's scissors? April l2th-Could we borrow Miss lJauiel's scissors? April llth-'l'alk by fiCI'lll3lll Prince l!tnburtius Ill Lowenstein. April l5th-College lloartl lixains for some-Mary kathryn, liltla. liecky. and Helen tlecitle to go Hutlepohl with -lane. April lrlth-Report rartls receiyetl-only Twenty- eight more school clays. not counting sununer school. .April Zllthfllaylor Cilee Club-why is the llllllllllillll bus so empty? Spelling contest begins. April 2lst-Argument over best ligure still going on in geometry class. April 22ml-Has the Static gone out ol' business? .April 2'lth-Where's Matnie's hannner? April 27111-AVlto's got sotne scissors? April 28th-May Day. Rain, rain. go away. I.itlle llonnie willlls to reign. May 5th-Static comes out-in print! Static lloartl elections. May 10th-Annual lloartl elections. May llth-Aren't you borecl? May lflth-Spring leyer-colcl wave causes tlelay. May lflth-Seniors bequeath seats. Don't we wish we eoultl! May 22ncl-23rd-Exanns. May 25th-Class Day. May illilh-Cotinnencentent. See ya' next year. ' ' I fn s fl? ,a. . gat F '45 I , . if I H X H ...V ,. A I ' --- A ni ggi? . A F i ' y . f, X J 'xmas-1-. sc . ef-1, Q J 4' . y .y . Q. 1593 - 'Q . x S, PQ' ky Q 4 it I if Q ,
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