Gettysburg High School - Cannon Aid Yearbook (Gettysburg, PA)

Page 18 text:

611155 Will Ronnie Baker wills his false teeth to Mary Knecht. George Bartram Wills his spikes to Jerome Hoschouer. Wayne Burns Wills his 57 Chev. Che didn't getj to Ronnie Synder. Osa Mae Butts doesn't will anything to anybody, because she hasn't got anything that she wants to will to anybody. Charlie Didier wills his talking ability to Jim Lecklider. Janet Eley wills her short hair to Elnora Wombold. Mary Lou Fine wills her cheerleading skirt to anybody that can Wear it. Julia Fourman wills her tenor sax to anyone who has a good neck and the ability to blow it. Bill Harmon wills his ability to skip school to Harold Knecht. Mary Lou Keihl wills her position on the Honor Roll to Jim Cunningham. Ted Kissinger wills his ability to play basketball to Marvin Miller. Charles Linder Wills his ability to ditch cops to Larry Linder. Donna Jean Miller wills her seat in Government to Juanita McMiller. Sheldon Miller wills his seat in the Senior Room to anyone who thinks he can get all of his books into it. Shirley Miller wills her seat in Drivei-'s T raining to anyone who wants to become an expert driver. Mary Alice Newbauer wills her eight years perfect attendance record to anyone who thinks he can stand to come to school that long. Janice Reeder wills her long dark hair to JoAnn Johnson. Eva Lou Rhoades Wills her dirty dilapidated broken lab equipment to the many mad scientists of G. H. S. Sharalyn Sando wills her red wig to Rosey. Carolyn Wetzel wills her dirty lst aid bandage to any Junior who can tie a square knot. Larry Witwer wills his ability to get to school on time to Ted Shade. Marsha Wombold wills her blue eyes to Mr. Christon. Betty Zacharius wills her sewing ability to Judy Richards. Sharon Laughman wills her A's in Bookkeeping to anyone who wants them. 14

Page 17 text:

Zfiim' Will all Now came this fair young damsel be- fore me and bade me prophesy concerning the divers fates of the class of '58. I straightway gathered unto me various am- ulets, charms, and fatishes useful in the art of divination, and even as the witch of Endore prophesied for King Saul, so did I for this damsel. By artful use of the charms anda powerful in c an at i on , the curtains that obscure the future were rent asunder, and lo! Iwas shewn things no mortal man had ever seen. Sha r alyn Sando, a famous surgeon, appears on a R.V. program performing an extremely delicate brain operation. Oh, well, that ear was too large anyway, she said as she ac cidently cut off half the patient's ear. Marsha Wombold teaching Pig Latin to pigs. Well, good gosh, who else would you teach it to ? Ted Kissinger teaching Algebra II at Gettysburg. E a sie s t course to flunk I ever took. Ronnie Baker giving kids citations for flying too close to rooftops in their heli- copters. Said Air T ro op e r Baker, We never did anything like that when I was a Kid. This younger generation is going to the dogs. Charlie Didier, superintendent of schools at Gettysburg, applying the board of education to the seat of knowledge. Kids need affection. Larry Witwer teaching baseball to the inhabitants of Mars, They eat up all the equipment. George Bartram, the first man to be shot out of an atomic cannon. He's been orbiting for several years. This is be- coming monotonous. Mary Alice Newbauer te aching re- medial talking to retarded parakeetsat the state univ e r s ity . Hello, hello, hello, Mary Alice said. These parakeets have a one track mind. Hello, hello, hello ----- B e tty Zacharias, universally known arbiter of men's fashions. This year they are w e a r i ng galligaskins under mother hubbards, toeless platform shoes while perched above their elegant coiffures are exquisite b onnet s of various shapes and hues. ' .Tulia Fourman, s ch o o l secretary at Gettysburg. I think if I were t r i pl et s I could handle this job better. Janet Eley, hostess on an interplan- etary space ship. I'mnever sure whether some of the s e creatures in outer space wish to date me, or have me for the main course at dinner. Sharon Laughman , author of a new book, Gettysburg, Ohio, which has been banned on Earth. Said she, I don't have a friend left in Gettysburg. Bill Harmon, pilot of an interplanetary freighter. I can hot rod in space. Wayne Burns has developed a method whereby even the squeal of a 'pig may be packaged and sold by meat packing com- panies. Why waste the squeal ? he asked. Charles Linder, chief tester of appli- cants for space pilot's license. Been on this job 10 years, haven't passed a woman yet and don't intend to. Sheldon Miller, one of the leading ed- ucators of the universe,hasjustdeveloped a revolutionary new method of solving the educational ills of the universegeliminate all the students from school. Carolyn writes advice to the lovelorn column. Here is a sample: Dear Miss Carolyn, I have found bits of broken glass in my fo od , sulphuric acid in my coffee, and cyanide tablets in the sugar. D0 you think my wife is trying to get rid of me? .T.L. Dear .I.L., I think your wife is trying to prove your trust in her. If you eat the food as though you suspect nothing, your troubles will all be over. Carolyn. Mary Lou Fine, owner of a lonely hearts club. Every member of my gradu- ating class is a member, she said proudly. I'll find a lonely heart. Osa Mae Butts, president of Gettys- burg School Board. I'm not mentioning any names, but if a ce rtain supt. whose initials are Charlie Didier doesn't shape up, I'm going to ship him out. Eva Rhoade s , R.N. Men are S11C11 babies, they begin to scream before I touch them. J' anic e Reeder, champion hog caller of the midwest. Sooooooo ooooooo ie. Donna Jean Mille r , star pitcher for the Cincinnati Red Legs. I got my practice throwing spit balls in school. Shirley Miller, teacher of judo at West Point. Anyone wanna wrassle ? Mary Lou Keihl is seen skating around Mars at sucha great speed that the Presi- dent of the U.S. asked if another SpudniCk had been invented. Written by Mr. Van Hoose

Page 19 text:

Left to Left to Left to Left to Right Right Right Right Row l Row Z Row 3 Row 4 crzivr Pvrsamzlify fist On Page Best Homemaker - Janice Reeder Happy-Go-Lucky - Marsha Wornbold 8: Charles Linder Quietest - Betty Zacharias gf Ted Kissinger Most Athletic - Ron Baker Sr Mary Lou Fine Most Independent - Julia Ann Fourrnan Sf Osa Mae Butts Most School Spirit - Sharon Laughrnan 8: Donna Jean Miller Most Versatile - Sharalyn Sando Most Likely to Succeed - Eva Lou Rhoades Biggest Screwballs - Janet Eley Z9 Larry Witwer Best Manners - Shirley Miller Most Talented - George Bartram Best Looking - Carolyn Wetzel Sr Bill Harmon Most Studious - Sheldon Miller 8: Mary Alice Newbauer Best Sleeper - Wayne Burns Most Friendliest - Mary Lou Keihl