Gettysburg College - Spectrum Yearbook (Gettysburg, PA)

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rated a quantity of «lark fluid at the very feet of our hero. Horace drew hack and struck an attitude so forcibly that he lost both his poise and his suitcase. Said the expectorator to our expectant Horace, “Have you seen Doctor Granville this balmy eve? “No.” replied Horace in his beautifully modulated tones, “not as yet. but I hope to soon. “Ah so «lo we all. sai«l “Freddie pensively, “but pcrha| not in the same place. However, if you see him, will you Ik kind enough to tell him that, unless he grants the request of the Purity League for a longer clia| el period, we shall jiosttivcly refuse to use the swimming pool. “1 shall be delighted,” replied Horace quickly. “Would you direct me. please, to Pennsylvania Hall, where 1 have engaged rooms? “You a«lmit l»eiiig a freshman? asked “Freddie, shifting his quid with great skill. “Yes, this year. 1 think,” replied our hero in s« mc confusion. “1 am very glad. answered “Freddie gravely, “that you have thus early acquired the habit of thinking. Do you know that some of our freshmen never begin to think before the second or third year. It is most annoying. I should lie glad to direct you to Old Dorm, which i known as Pennsylvania Hall only in the catalogue, but I think that Doctor Granville would feel slighted if you did not first call on him. You have read the College Catalogue, of course?” “I am afrabl that 1 haven't quite finished it----- “Do so,” said the driver of the machine, breaking into the conversation. “You will find in it. my young friend,” he continued impressively, “much useful information concerning the red shale Iselt and the salubrious climate of the neigh I tor hood. There arc found therein, directions as to the proper method of making a bequest, how to borrow money from the College Treasurer, and how to get through college on three hundred and twenty-six dollars and sixty-five cents a y ar. You will find our President in the Whte House, just beyond the Chapel,” “Freddie” informed Horace. Then the driver of the machine experimented with various levers, and the car lunged forward coughing fire. His heart overflowing with gratitude for the excellent advice so freely given him. Horace walked up the cement walk toward a picturesque, vine-clad building which he recognized as Brua Chapel. Beyond he saw the White House, ami toward its windows aglow with welcome, he turned his steps. He rang the liell and was first greeted by the welcoming bark of “Davie. the «»fii- cial dog, an animal with long white hair and a plclieian taste for chasing cats. Sum- moned by Davie's barking, a pleasant faced lady came to the door, smiled a welcome, and said. Come right in. 1 am Mrs. Granville. The Doctor will see you in just a mo- ment. He is so busy this evening. You are------------? “Horace Ellsworth Spoof, at your service, Madame, of Appendicitis. Pennsylvania. I am desirous of entering this institution of learning as a freshman. “Now isn’t that sweet. pnrre«l I-i Gnuide Dame, as they sat down. What course are you taking? “Why 1 thought of taking several course . Father, who goes in for pajier lunging and that sort of thing, wants me to follow in his step and take up art. Mother thinks that I am best suited for the ministry and ministerial aid. My own tastes incline toward en- gineering. To me Nature seems, in her wilder form , to lie ever calling for a conqueror. At every mud hole our ancestral Ford groans for a road; every tumbling stream ought to be dammed. All that can l c arranged, of course. replied Mrs. Granville sympathetically. Perhaps you can take Engineering, go to the movies and Co-Eds for art, ami still get ministerial aid. Such things have been «lone. However, the first thing is to get com- fortably settled here among my big family of boys. Did you bring plenty of warm un- it

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Chapter I In Which the Hero Enters Nearing the suburbs of Gettysburg, the Harrisburg bullet, hardly forty minutes late shrieked triumphantly and lurched ahead, swaying like a tired runner in his final burst of speed. It was the night liefore the opening of Pennsylvania College for the school year of 1920-1921. and the train was crowded with students. These were busily gathering to- gether their belongings and crowding excitedly toward the doors. One of them, however, a sandy haired youth with a cowlick, mild blue eyes, and a propensity for chewing straw, sat unmoved by the bustle about him. Horace was systematically checking over his liaggagc. ami was annoyed to discover that his favorite tooth brush had l»ccu left behind To many this would have seemed an insuperable dif- ficulty, but after a moment’s thought. Horace disposed of it by deciding to buy a new- brush. This suggests the fact that Horace, although really not much to look at, was a re- markable youth. When he smiled hr had a fine open face fitted with alxmt the usual number of teeth He hail a solid, dependable Ux k, inherited from generations of paper hangers before him who were renowned in the community as stickers. An air of ”je nc sais pas quoi” in his bearing indicated that the hours spent over mail order catalogues had sophisticated but not embittered him. Horace was a nun with a purjiose, even if he was not absolutely sure what it might 1«. With one last culminating lurch, the bullet came to a stop in iettysburg's main station Horace gathered together his suitcase, the remains of his lunch, neatly pre- served in the “Corner Courier, ami his ukulele, and followed the jostling crowd out of the coach. The platform was crowrled with old ami new students. There were widc-cycd tlaisykickcrs from the tall grass, arrayed in mail order clothes, mingling with the more sophisticated natives of Williamsjxirt, Kenovo. Harrisburg, Bloomsbtirg. and other teem- ing centers of |xipulation. Most of them seemed to have friends or to lie nuking them, but Horace was alone. The dignity of his licaring seemed to hold him aloof from the vulgarity of a crowd. He was recalling with emotion his |urents’ admonitions, and feel- ing in his right breast pocket to see if the safety pin which protected his modest capital was still secure, when lie was approached by a | olite. kliaki-clad individual who offered to show him about the Imttlefield. Horace was suspicious of this oily stranger, and avoided his offer by inquiring the way to the College. He was given the necessary directions, ami. in a moment or two. or at most three. Horace stood liefore the College Gates. Other pedestrians were coming and going, lmt Horace stopjied and stood silent liefore those | ortals, wrapficd in heavy thought and a knit throat warmer This seemed to him a big moment—a serious crisis. His mood was one of lofty exaltation not iitunixcd by the same reluctance be lud felt when, in tones suggestive of dire |K ssibilirics. his father had mentioned the woodshed. ’‘What a serious step is this,” he soliloquized. “And how my new yellow shoes pinch. Tan shoes always did give me corns. Oh dear.” He was rapidly becoming blue, or if not blue a sort of dissatisfied mauve, when his reverie was interrupted by the tor- Ktous approach of what, in a moment of genuine enthusiasm, might have b.-en called a motorcar, seemingly in the last paroxysms of miliary tuberculosis. The car was lilieti with some boisterous persons, who Horace jutlgcd to be students, ringing a song. Horace could nuke out only the w ords “ h Gettysburg.” The car stopped licside Horace and one of the occupants whom his companions calleri “Freddie,” leaner! out ami cxjicvto- 11

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COI.I.EKE CATES derthiitgs and heavy blankets? For proper ventilation, the window in Pennsylvania Hall arc so constructed that plenty of good fre h air is admitted when the steam is turned off, and (lien, in the winter time when the snow is on the ground and the snowball arc in the air, one's windows arc pretty apt to l»c broken, don’t you know Blushing, for he was a modest soul, Horace assured her that he was well provided with the warmer sort of woolly jiajamas. storm-proof internal overalls, and a store of blankets. At this point the charming tete-a-tete was interrupted by the Doctor himself, whose deep-throated laugh Horace had heard at intervals from the next room. “Doctor Granville—Mr Spoof of Appendicitis, Pennsylvania,” said Mrs. Granville in her best manner. Charmed. I’m sure,” said Horace, ne er more at his ease, as he shook hand with the genial mathematician. Well. Mr. Sjioof, what do you intend to take up? Horace spoke feelingly of his aspirations and of his philosophy of a life of service at some length. And when I do,” he said dramatically, Appendicitis will lie on the map.” Quite so. juite so. of course they will be very prom! of you. I think that now you ought to get settled in your room. Old Dorm is the largo white building to your left as you leave. The janitor will let you in. Tomorrow wc shall «ce about registration.” With these words the President arose as a sign that the interview was at an end. Thanking the Granvilles for their kind less and promising to return later. Horace took his departure Across the campus. Iirhind a lacy screen of trees just shedding IS