Gettysburg College - Spectrum Yearbook (Gettysburg, PA)

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94 IN LAB. T is with fear and trembling, and with a mental organism en- shrouded with chemical mists, that we attempt to immortalize the deeds performed by the experimenters of '9-l. On the bright sunny morning of Sept. 19th, we marshalecl our lines and advanced towards the building famous in song and story for its bad odors, and which some are mean enough to call the cook-shop. lrVith an air of resignation, co-mingled with just enough Junior dignity charac- teristic of we soon to become chemists, we took our chairs in the lecture room, and listened to the Hrst learned harangue of our worthy chemical doctor. After the lecture we were advised as to the best texts, and were assigned our desks. Professor Remsenf' of Hagers- town fame, was present, but was too modest to recommend his own text-book. This the doctor willingly did for him. VVe took an inventory of our desks, grabbed our directories, rolled up our sleeves, put on our aprons, and were ready to smash ten beakers and Hfteen test tubes the first period. And Why not? The doctor's introductory lecture had filled us clear up to the brim with enthusiasm, and we meditated on the precious thought, surely there is no science more ennobling and more worthy of study than chemistry. Even Matt Kemp, the- only genius and profound thinker in the class, said that Shakespeare was a chemist, and what was to prevent our aspiring to fame? John Fair happened to over- hear the remark, and said, I objectf, whereupon Matt braced his assertion by declaring that the great English playwright certainly believed that chemical changes were everywhere taking place, and that matter was constantly assuming new forms, for did not Hamlet, say: Man may fish with the worm that hath eat of a king, And eat of the fish that hath fed of that worm. This was the only time Kemp was warmed up during his entire- Junior Year, and he completely crushed the gentleman from Altoona, when he quoted the following : Imperious Caesar, dead and turned to clay, Might stop a hole to keep the wind away. Oh ! that the earth which kept the world in awe Should patch a wall to expel the winter's flaw. 41

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CLASS OF '94

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Dutch Nickel was with us then, and he said he believed the doctor wore a cap in Lab. because part of his ornamentation was gone, and he spent all his time trying to surmise what Dame Nature could possibly have done with it. At last Fick looked up from his desk and told Dutch it had been sold to the Seniors for seed to raise Commencement whiskers, and when Fick says anything, that settles it. Dutch then became famous for the vast amounts of H 2 S he could evolve in the corners of Lab. without Doc Menges catch- ing on, but while his fame was high, he sought another clime. VVe don't know as much about psychology as we do about chemistry, and if you ask Dr. McKnight a frank question, how we plowed through the Hrst recitation after VVashington's Birthday, he will tell you we have Porter down fine. Seebach said the only thing he remembered from Porter Was, that, - every scientific experi- ment is an act of reverent worship. He made this announcement in Lab. one day, and 4' Johnny Rice said, that if that was so we worshipped enough during the week to excuse us from going to church on Sunday, but Bastian said he would be glad to worship all the time, and, because he expressed himself thus, somebody called him an old reformer Doctor never tires of giving us long lectures and an examination once a week. Bush says if the doctor did not use so many technical terms in his lectures he would fall asleep, but as he is so familiar With such language he easily keeps awake. If the doctor himself does not thoroughly understand a point, he simply turns to Dick Mottern, and this learned gentleman of white black-board fame elucidates the point in question, by an explanation short enough to reach around the earth, and all the planets in the bargain. Amusement puts on her slippers and skips all around Lab. when Big Nick and Billy begin to wrangle over their experiments Nick gets red in the face and looks down on poor little Billy with the same sickly grin on his countenance that he wears when he jumps on a man in a foot-ball game. Billy is going to Sem. in a year, and so he is a good boy. One day when Nick told him that if it Wasn't for the fact that he played the organ so well in the Y. M. C. A., he would burn his head off with H, S OU Billy simply lighted up his countenance With that patent Sunday-school smile, and looked as meek as a little angel. Homer is the longest man in the department, but his height is rapidly decreasing since Doc has been sitting on him regularly three times a day, and for no other reason than that the poor boy amused himself by going through the 42