Gettysburg Academy - Osoga Yearbook (Gettysburg, PA)

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GETTYSBURG ACADEMY masters of the palate Llke the renowned D1nty Moores his speclal dlsh IS Corn Beef and Cabbage He sells more of thls concoctlon than Henry does Fords In a llttle red school house settlng far back ln the country we find one of our old classmates teachlng llttle tots all about how Columbo d1d hls stuff away back IH the year 1492 MISS Maybelle Aspers has more patlence than Mexlco has revolutlons She gets asked so many quest1ons each day that lt would have made Edlson go hide h1S face ln shame lf he would have but trled to answer one half of them Pleachlng with the eloquence of Edmond Burke thoughts that astound the thlnklng world and most llkely make Socrates turn over ln h1s anclent bler fnot beerj IS how we find Harry Flem mg Gracey No motlons .ue useless or any words vxasted when Harly shows hls vsares on Sunday There IS a college near by from which mam students attend and much to Harry s credlt no one falls mto the pltfalls of M01 pheus Through the d1n of battle er the top of the shoutlng ac clalmlng rabble sounds the crash of the champlon s deadly rlght a row of Syrlan Soup Ladles The champeen IS one Ralph R Pyle the Te1r1ble Turk from Somerset Pa Ralph thlough hls tlreless efforts and mdomxnable courage fought hls vxay through a horde of medxocre he IVIQS and finally 1n a bloody battle lald the world s best low vxlth that wlcked rlght cross It was thls blow that stood hlm IH such good stead whlle endeavorlng to 6V1Ct certaln persons from hls room Nova ladles and gentlemen step rlght th1S way and vlew the worlds greatest eater Randolf Jerome Mullen Ever slnce lnfancy Randolf had an lnexhaustable and feroclous appetlte He could eat more iudas paste ln one meal than the rest of the academy could mastlcate 1n an entlre month Travelllng wlth Feedem and Eatem the greatest show on the face of the earth Mullen has the deslred posltlon of World s champlon Ple Eater Guaranteelng to eat at least ten more p10S any flavor whatsoever than any ten men He has been more than success ful ln the last twenty years and the clrcus that he travels with Pug 48 g . . , . 3 1 . . , A K 9 ' ' H V uw . ui H :Y . . . l . v V . Y , . 1 , ' . v v ' . . . , . , . as it crushes the Challengers jaw and knocks said hombre for ' , an u ' Q l V L y . 1 ls. . . . I . V . Q . S y . . , A Y. . . .K Y . . . . , . ll' 77 ' ll !! Cl 77 . 7 . . . , 1. . , . ' 7 7 ' ' 6

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GETTYSBURG ACADEMY the most romantlc plctures that has ever been screened The robust younthful and amazlngly good looklng hero clasps the falntlng rosy llpped herolne ln a dylng embrace-an embrace that IS so full of eternal passlon an embrace that would have made Rudolf Valentlno look llke a cave man the crowds are swept ofl' their feet by the choklng reallty of the scene and are unanlmous ln the dec1s1on that Charles Alfred Esterly 19 the most convmclng hero that the s1lver sheet has ever known Charles has the women of the natlon at h1s feet anythlng any where at any tlme IS h1s for the asklng Congratulatlons Charles hey back there drop that brlck Washlng h1s llfe away soap suds and solled clothes know hlm better than the enslaved Ethloplan knew Llncoln And h1S name IS Albert Faber II1s father owned a laundry but Albert mar rled for love and not for money Love was thlcker than the frostlng on a weddlng cake but 1n a year this love had vanlshed but the marrlage certlficate had not And as hls Wlfe had proved to be an lndolent lazy Wench Albert d1d hls stuff wlth a tub and a bar of 99 9 per cent pure HIS wlfe proved an ex cellent advertlslng agent and there were more washlngs comlng ln regularly each week than there were Germans golng out of France Back to the scenes of hls chlldhood IS where we find Alban Russel Flchtner He IS a member of that group that tells the tourlsts how General Lee should have fought the battle of G Burg but d1dnt Doc found that there was no place that people would swallow h1s 11ne as well as back here ln the lxttle hamlet of Gettysburg He has lmproved hls subJect matter smoothed over the glarlng and dublous parts brought out 1n strong fand also welcome! rellef the proverb1al truth t1ll now none would suspect that the lxne of old was the same as the lme of today only used w1th dxscretlon Never devlatlng one solltary 1nch from hls set course 1n hlS pursult of knowledge Aldes Alderfer Frantz has finally obtalned the exalted pos1t1on of chlef chef ln the Greasy Spoon New Oxford s latest bld for cuhnary fame He has studled both 1n the U S and abroad gleamng much knowledge from the French Page 47 1 9 t . , ' , . t T , . 7 9 ' lt - - n - 9 7 ' y , ' J 9 n Y u ' 17 u ' n - - - . . . . . . . r ' ' ' ' CK 77 , . . . . i

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GETTYSBURG ACADEMY has been on the verge of bankruptcy several tlmes paylng' for the DIES that Randolf Jerome confiscated A large scmtlllatlng gold leafed Slgn bearmg the name R S Ayoob swlnglng to md fro ln the gentle August zephers that are so welcome over the torrld sultry and forebodmg buslness houses that one finds ln lower Broadway proclalms to the world that herem resldes the greatest lawyer that has ever been know n lhs knowledge IS unbounded not only ln legal mattels but ln every walk of llfe on exery occ lslon wlth rlch or poor he can converse Wlth an lntelllgence that astounds all who hear hum Right now he has more cases than Ilalg Sz llalg ever had Never has he lost one of these sults fnot t3llOI'9Cl but legalj ar gumg wlth a force that 1s unreslstable and wlth reasons that are unfhnchlng the dlverse exents th xt are to befall ex ers Member of the class of 1923 I w1ll retlre unto obl1v1on and avs a1t the fullfllment of mx prognostxcatlons Many surprlses have undoubtedly been unfurled to the e xger ew es that have 1n these llnes read thelr destlnv I do not offer prop1tat1on to those ww ho may seem offended by the reyelatlons that are conta1ned herem nelther do I clre to galn approbatlon from those more lucks mortals vshom the Gods haxe faxored My task was to forsee events that wx ere yet to be I have clone th1s w1thout trymg to gloss over any of the harsher and more austere futures nelther have I magnlfied or extolled any of the futures of the lucklex mortals of thlQ class I leave you now to your thoughts lamentat1ons and exulta tlons EXEUNT 1923 'Ill O9 , . . . , . y . . I . Q , I , Q - .. I . . c , . . sr A n I Y n . , I Ek. y . . v rc . . - l L. S C C ' Q Q , . c .I . c l c G c . A k n n L . A l C ' C n K p S sl Now that this task is completed, now that I have forcasted ' I ' . 2 ' j ..s C 1 , ', 2 U' . ' , . . H ., . I l L . l . A v C k Y ' u C. I . . 2 C. c . . U' c f ' I ' c ' . . . 1 L ky . . ' x CLA. , K -