George Elliott (AP 105) - Naval Cruise Book

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THE SHlP'S PARTY OR THE FACES ON THE BARROOM FLOOR Before I begin on UCCQIJFII' ot .-ihct hit Quss Holl in 'Frisco on Moy 3 sfo 9 I wsu c tae stote the difference between 2-1 pescen spectoble ond quiet ire.-I off: foe Qfsrw browling ond boisterous group s holl I',TI'lf:ff:3l.,1II',I tits, Q'.Qh'QV','1 . 4-, scsi I'iurirIrr:rI', of Imrrel, pf f--cf Vlr,vv tri g,rf,rf:ffrl in itil ' , . T- - 4 typifsfil riiqht fur fyiri FV',Lff'.I, ., L, I rnriflr: rn, ww, Ir ,rii Iqrsrui, Y -, px' , r r I I UIQIV. ini AIITVV 1TVP'J 4 I ,iii 3 gloss, ond o wornon's screom pierced the chilly oir, Peering up over the curbstone I could see o soilor descend onto the sidewolk. This wos the ploce, no doubt obout it . . . I should hove reolized thot when I sow the women ond chil- dren being evocuoted from the Sutter Street dis- trict. Yes, few residents hod missed heoring abou the George F. ElIiott's porty, Wfith o tug ot mx woist to ossure me my retresh- ments were still there I boldly scoled the oscend- :ng steps to the oreno known os Russion I-Ioll. Siu:-nped up ogoinst the bulkheod were two SP's who o'though they knew me, hod suspicions I wos C spy from the Pennsxj' the old scow they TfI'QCT to scuttle otter the Civil Wor, but otter :necaing nm credentiols ond returning one 3 west emptx thex permitted me to enter. The goof swung beck rexieoling o smoll swimming :oo cf' :eer filled with bodies tlooting toword 5,3 -swf .Jv- .-.Qs stout to plunge in ond swim tor the bor is w f- when 3 xoung womon in her eorly seven TZ' 'IJ 'exist me being pursued by one of 3 L r ' gniets whose girdle hod broken, ree N?5f ' .-.5 V, as

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YOUR TROUBLES ...AND MINE Answered by R. M. GUILDERSON, SM Zfc Dear Chaplain: I have been at sea for seven months now and haven't had a leave for nine months. All these fellows are getting discharged to go home for good and I can't even get a leave. Archibald Q. Boot. Dear Archie: You poor, poor boy, seven whole months at sea. I bet you went through hell too. I feel for you but I just can't reach you. Why don't you write in to the Stars and Stripes? Dear Chaplain: I have been aboard here for over two years and have three years service. Now when they started discharging it has been the married men and young kids with dependents who have been aboard a year or so that rate a discharge. Haw come they don't run this thing fair? Anonymous. Dear Anonymous: You mustn't feel like that. After all those married men have only been able to save up a few thousand dollars, what with their wives working and an allotment. Besides that the Navy wants to get rid of those men that con- tinually cry and sing the blues about how long it has been since they have seen their wives. I heard one troop say, l feel I am not even mar- ried any more. lt's been three weeks since I saw my wife and two weeks since I had a letter from her. Can't you see how those poor fellows suffer after being away such lengthy time? Dear Chaplain: We have a terrible situation on here. We would like you to clear up this mess. When we crossed the equator we got wild haircuts from the Royal Barber lyou know whol and from The Barber of Seville Higgs. A Bunch of Bald Headed SNlPES . Dear Boys: How well I know what you mean. I have one ear missing and scars all over my head too. Dear Chaplain' There are strange things happening an board here I am new and I don t understand what they mean For instance why do a lot of the one says First call to colors ? A Bewildered Seaman Dear Son: You haven't seen anything yet, but don't be alarmed, they are harmless. Those fellas are eligible for discharge. Or, in other words-out of this world. in Dear Chaplain: I would like some advice on marriage. I love a girl back home who says she loves me but I hear that she is going out with all the fellas at home. Should I ask her to marry me, or shouldn't I? She is 32 and I am 22. A Refrigerator Expert. Dear Lover: Df course you should! Forget all those things lrumorsl. If she tells you she has been true to you just trust in her and love will see you through another war-marriage! Marriage isn't a word-it's a sentence! Dear Chaplain: The boys took a vote today and if it could be arranged we would like to have some of Tiger's Stew for our Christmas dinner instead of turkey and all that old stuff. The Boys from the Fantail. Dear Boys: We will see if it can't be arranged. Would you like it served in bed too? But how could you eat it with your hands tied in that straight locket? Dear Chaplain: Why do men shipping over have to take a rugged physical examination when they already had one to get into this outfit? A Curious Mess Cook. Dear Mess-I Mean Cookie: Don't you know that? Anyone wanting to ship over is presumably off his nut, so they examine him to see if he's out of this world . 3-1 .L .-. RAED NIALPAI-IC: Fl UOY NAC DAER Sll-IT EREI-IT Sl LLITS EPOI-I ROF UOY. A DNEIRF. Dear Dneirf: Me tool First door on your starboard. ' :j: 11: 72: Dear Chaplain: Since I came aboard ltwo weeks agol I have seen some gruesome sights, but the worst is those fellows that bark like lions and never smile Who are they? Perplexed Dear Perplexed don t ever let them catch you throwing cigarette butts on deck Oh brother' What language' . I . I . . I : I I fellows pump up at chow and salute when some- Ma Fran, those are Baatswain s Mates--and ll ' ll I ' ' , .

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f vealng a fallen chest that could easily be mis- taken for a balloon. Knowing he could never catch the damsel, I joined the fellows hanging onto the brass rail at the base of the bar. The system in use was this: The bartender would have a drink, then bring one out to the first man in line, open his mouth, pour it in and close it. By the time he came to me he was trying to open my eyes, pour it in my nose and close my ears. From my horizontal position I could just make out the forms of people putting on a show for the two or three persons still sitting in their chairs. I wasn't auite sure what was going on, but it seemed that three girls were doing a strip tease while various gentlemen lunged at them, only to fall on their faces and rest in deep, deep slumber Icommonly referred to in sophisticated circles as being out coId l. As I lay gazing at the overhead, a young woman with three heads pushed one of her faces up to mine and asked me if I knew where her husband was. I-ler description of him led me to believe she had married everyone there. He was a sailor, had a white hot on when he came in, was very good looking, and was definitely very intoxi- cated. The band mixed some music from The Fifth Concerto and Sweet Adeline, and swung out with a rendition never heard before, and probably not heard by nine-tenths of the gathering there that night. As I walked off the floor with the lost wife, something seemed wrong and I thought her to be on stilts, for I am six feet two and she was towering over me like a giant. Little did I know I had been dancing on my knees. Pulling myself together, I stood up lwith the help of four of my friendsl and found myself in the midst of a group of ship's officers. An argu- ment was in progress on the subject, Were midshipmen graduates any better than ninety- day wonders? After I had given my opinion ldue to the fact that devoted students of the- ology may read this book we shall not publish the author's opinionl, I was promptly placed on report by all the officers present, save those who were lying lifeless on the deck. Nothing was done with me since the SP's could not be aroused from their unconscious state. On next opening my eyes I found mself at the bar again where, by a strange coincidence, all persons able to move were gathered. When they all were tottering the Exec decided it would take twelve hours to pack the bodies back to the ship, and extended the liberty for that reason. With this happy news I fell into a deep, black hole and woke up three days later on the ship with a six eleven night cap on my swollen head.