George Elliott (AP 105) - Naval Cruise Book

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YOUR TROUBLES ...AND MINE Answered by R. M. GUILDERSON, SM Zfc Dear Chaplain: I have been at sea for seven months now and haven't had a leave for nine months. All these fellows are getting discharged to go home for good and I can't even get a leave. Archibald Q. Boot. Dear Archie: You poor, poor boy, seven whole months at sea. I bet you went through hell too. I feel for you but I just can't reach you. Why don't you write in to the Stars and Stripes? Dear Chaplain: I have been aboard here for over two years and have three years service. Now when they started discharging it has been the married men and young kids with dependents who have been aboard a year or so that rate a discharge. Haw come they don't run this thing fair? Anonymous. Dear Anonymous: You mustn't feel like that. After all those married men have only been able to save up a few thousand dollars, what with their wives working and an allotment. Besides that the Navy wants to get rid of those men that con- tinually cry and sing the blues about how long it has been since they have seen their wives. I heard one troop say, l feel I am not even mar- ried any more. lt's been three weeks since I saw my wife and two weeks since I had a letter from her. Can't you see how those poor fellows suffer after being away such lengthy time? Dear Chaplain: We have a terrible situation on here. We would like you to clear up this mess. When we crossed the equator we got wild haircuts from the Royal Barber lyou know whol and from The Barber of Seville Higgs. A Bunch of Bald Headed SNlPES . Dear Boys: How well I know what you mean. I have one ear missing and scars all over my head too. Dear Chaplain' There are strange things happening an board here I am new and I don t understand what they mean For instance why do a lot of the one says First call to colors ? A Bewildered Seaman Dear Son: You haven't seen anything yet, but don't be alarmed, they are harmless. Those fellas are eligible for discharge. Or, in other words-out of this world. in Dear Chaplain: I would like some advice on marriage. I love a girl back home who says she loves me but I hear that she is going out with all the fellas at home. Should I ask her to marry me, or shouldn't I? She is 32 and I am 22. A Refrigerator Expert. Dear Lover: Df course you should! Forget all those things lrumorsl. If she tells you she has been true to you just trust in her and love will see you through another war-marriage! Marriage isn't a word-it's a sentence! Dear Chaplain: The boys took a vote today and if it could be arranged we would like to have some of Tiger's Stew for our Christmas dinner instead of turkey and all that old stuff. The Boys from the Fantail. Dear Boys: We will see if it can't be arranged. Would you like it served in bed too? But how could you eat it with your hands tied in that straight locket? Dear Chaplain: Why do men shipping over have to take a rugged physical examination when they already had one to get into this outfit? A Curious Mess Cook. Dear Mess-I Mean Cookie: Don't you know that? Anyone wanting to ship over is presumably off his nut, so they examine him to see if he's out of this world . 3-1 .L .-. RAED NIALPAI-IC: Fl UOY NAC DAER Sll-IT EREI-IT Sl LLITS EPOI-I ROF UOY. A DNEIRF. Dear Dneirf: Me tool First door on your starboard. ' :j: 11: 72: Dear Chaplain: Since I came aboard ltwo weeks agol I have seen some gruesome sights, but the worst is those fellows that bark like lions and never smile Who are they? Perplexed Dear Perplexed don t ever let them catch you throwing cigarette butts on deck Oh brother' What language' . I . I . . I : I I fellows pump up at chow and salute when some- Ma Fran, those are Baatswain s Mates--and ll ' ll I ' ' , .

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and relatives peeped at me from behind the fur- niture. My Dad placed me in a chair and told me to take it easy. When I asked him where the head was, he ex- claimed, Why it's still on your neck, After a few minutes explanation he pointed the way. I went in and found a nice clean head--must have just held afield day on it I thought, I tried the faucet to see if the water was on because I didn't know what the water hours were, and I was overjoyed to find the water was onl After I washed I tried to see whose towel I cou'd use and then spied a spotless one with no name on it hanging on a reck. I broke out my stencil and stenciled my name on it right away, Dinner was ready when I came out and I sat down to wonderful chovv, They even had fresh milk and I couIdn't find a single trace of stew I forgot where I was for a minute and heard my gruff voice bellow, Where the hell the damn butter? My brother tried to cover the blunder up by asking me what I'd have to drink and eyes popped when I said, CaIvert's pleasant I decided I needed some time to think sim I drove over to my girl's house. She greeted me with open arms and she was very disappointed when I hung my coat on one arm and my hat on the other. After I realized what I had done, I drew her aside. It was then I could see a young brat standing there so I took a bar of pogie bait and Shoved it down his throat saying Myl My' what a big boy loud enough so his sister couldn't hear him choking. After a wild night of chasing my girl through the house, I went home and hit the sack. I next remember hearing an alarm and I jumped up hollering GO-all hands to battle stations . I found it to be only the alarm clock. Just then my Mother passed the word for chow, so I rushed down to be first in chow line, but my Dad had beaten me. When I found out we didn't have vi' , ,gp t I ,wqianl Q-, .1 I ' . 6.135 s- I 4 II I f 5x9 1 Q , , 1 msgs ' M 'l'. J. Slffflifllil rrilrl l r1n1iIjf dehydrated scrambled eggs or beans I almost tainted We were having fresh eggs-fresh eggs, imagine itlll So to you fellows who are about to return to civilized world I thought I'd tell you my story so you can adjust yourself better and not be thought of as cracked up and strange. ,N. W

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THE SHlP'S PARTY OR THE FACES ON THE BARROOM FLOOR Before I begin on UCCQIJFII' ot .-ihct hit Quss Holl in 'Frisco on Moy 3 sfo 9 I wsu c tae stote the difference between 2-1 pescen spectoble ond quiet ire.-I off: foe Qfsrw browling ond boisterous group s holl I',TI'lf:ff:3l.,1II',I tits, Q'.Qh'QV','1 . 4-, scsi I'iurirIrr:rI', of Imrrel, pf f--cf Vlr,vv tri g,rf,rf:ffrl in itil ' , . T- - 4 typifsfil riiqht fur fyiri FV',Lff'.I, ., L, I rnriflr: rn, ww, Ir ,rii Iqrsrui, Y -, px' , r r I I UIQIV. ini AIITVV 1TVP'J 4 I ,iii 3 gloss, ond o wornon's screom pierced the chilly oir, Peering up over the curbstone I could see o soilor descend onto the sidewolk. This wos the ploce, no doubt obout it . . . I should hove reolized thot when I sow the women ond chil- dren being evocuoted from the Sutter Street dis- trict. Yes, few residents hod missed heoring abou the George F. ElIiott's porty, Wfith o tug ot mx woist to ossure me my retresh- ments were still there I boldly scoled the oscend- :ng steps to the oreno known os Russion I-Ioll. Siu:-nped up ogoinst the bulkheod were two SP's who o'though they knew me, hod suspicions I wos C spy from the Pennsxj' the old scow they TfI'QCT to scuttle otter the Civil Wor, but otter :necaing nm credentiols ond returning one 3 west emptx thex permitted me to enter. The goof swung beck rexieoling o smoll swimming :oo cf' :eer filled with bodies tlooting toword 5,3 -swf .Jv- .-.Qs stout to plunge in ond swim tor the bor is w f- when 3 xoung womon in her eorly seven TZ' 'IJ 'exist me being pursued by one of 3 L r ' gniets whose girdle hod broken, ree N?5f ' .-.5 V, as