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Page 40 text:
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ig The REVlEXVIQ2j fag' Grandpa had an easy chair, Johnny had a pin. Father had a razor strap, Johnny's pants were thin. Give me an example of period furniture- XVell, replied the student, I'd say an elec- tric chair-because it ends a sentence. lllother-- Now, children, don't quarrel. XVhat's the matter?i' Harold- lVeire playin' ship wreck, an' .Susie won't go in the bathroom and drown herselff' Mr. Sabish- Have you seen the new bal- loon tires ? g Harold Fohl- lVhy, who ever heard of a balloon needing tires.', lleiiss Blaska- Every day we breathe oxygen. Joe Pilon, what do we breathe at night ? ' joe Pilon- Nitrogen bliss Stocking: Henry, spell 'weatherf Henry: f'VV-e-t-t-h-e-r. Teacher: VVell, that's certainly the worst spell of weather we've had for some time. lt was a lesson on punctuation and jimmy was falling asleep at his desk. Now, said the teacher, Ulf I say, 'I must leave, as I have an engagement-by the way what is the time ?', I place a dash after 'engagement' because the sentence is broken off abruptly. At that moment she caught sight of the dozing boy. Now, then, Jimmy, you are not listen- ing. What was I saying? she asked him. Please, Miss Faustgenf' said Jimmy, with a start, you were telliing us- you said 'dash' because your engagement was broken off abruptly! A hir. Rose was giving his class a lesson about the Pine Ufood. He asked: VVhich boy can tell me the pine which has the longest and sharpest needles? Up went a hand in the front row. lN'Ir. Rose: VVell, Johnny? Johnny: Please, sir, porcupine. lVIr. Hanlon: I am surprised at your not knowing the date of Columbus' discovery of America. It's right at the beginning of the chapter. Young Hopeful: Im sorry. I thought it was his telephone number. ' The inspector was examining the boys concerning the story of David and Goliath. He had been describing the parts of Go1iath's armour, and asked, Now, boys, what was it Goliath forgot to do ? Expecting the answer to be that he had forgotten to close his visor, the reply was, Please, sir, he forgot to duck! lVIiss Reilly- Now, class, can you tell us what a primitive forest is ? lVIary- A primitive forest is a place where no human hand has ever set foot. Vulgar Customer fdisgustedlyj- Hi, waiter, what d'you call this stuff? XVaiter- That's very good soup, 'Creme Raine'. V. C.- I can taste the rain all right, but the cook's forgot the cream. Elaine B. fat a Zooj : Why is that monkey acting so funny ? Gordon Q'B.: Oh, don't bother about him he's just looking for the key to the ele- phant's.trunk. The Night Before Exams Now I lay me down to sleep, To study hard I've tried, If I should die before I wake, l'd have no blamed exams to take. I Page thirty-eight
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Page 39 text:
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A man w +5 Mr. Geige l The REVIEW 1925 Qi' Bright Answers r, talking about the seeds of different trees: 'Hickory 11uts weren't made for us, what were they made for? Catherine ll'lcGrath: The squirrels. D. llflineau: ll'Iy, you eat well. ' Fat Guell: I ought to, l've practiced all my life. - llfliss Frost : ls your hand up or down ? Harold H.: No. Nlr. Geiger: VVhat are some of the fine points of San R. Gorn: H Francisco ? It has a golden gate. John T.: Judging from my writing, how old am I? hfliss Frost: Judging from your writing, you are fourfi , ci ll-Ir. Green four Fords a ez If Henry Ford built just year they would cost about S4000 a piece. D. Lynch : But he doesnltf' Teacher: lfVe have several plants and Howers named with the prefix 'dog'. The dog-violet an d dog-rose are well known. Can anyone name another. T. Hutchins: I know, Collie-flower. alking along the street saw Halley Crouch struggling to ring door bell he couldn't reach. ln a kindly manner he stepped up and rang the bell saying, Now, little boy, what do we do next ? Halley answered, Run like the dickensf' and he suited the action to the word. V A, Home Economics Girl walked briskly into a grocery store, and looked for a few good egg-plants. As the grocer was wrap- ping them up, she asked, How deep should these be planted to get the best results ? Planted? said the astonished grocer. You're not going to plant them are you? Yes, replied the girl. Our teacher told us to use nothing but fresh eggs, and the stores are so unreliable, I have decided to raise my own. Teacher: VVhat is an organ in the mouth? Art: A tooth. Teacher: Hlfxnlilt kind of an organ is it? Art: A grind organ. :J lllr. Geiger to Thelma Barbeau: lVhere is sugar cane grown ? C. lVIcGrath: l'Alaska. lylr. Geiger: Let Thelma do her own thinking. Catherine: Now, Thelma, can you tell me where it is grown ? Thelma: lVell now, she told me, Alas- ka. - ll-'Iiss llfloe lin citizenshipj: You can compare the three things capital, labor, and natural resources to a three legged stool. lf one leg is taken away the stool falls down. Tom lfVilson: Put the stool against the wall. -his llflurrayt VVhere have you been ? S. Benz: Looking for work. i' t lVI. lllurray: lVIan, oh man! your curiosity's gonna get you into trouble if you don't look out. N. Egelhoff: VVhen l want to borrow money l never go to a friend. Ed. Heister: Say, Norman, let's be friendsf' J. llflclntosh came back from the circus very much excited. Oh, Riammaf' he cried, janet spilled some peanuts and the ele- phant picked them all up with his vacuum cleanerf' lVIother, complained R. Strebe, I don't feel well. Mother: That's too bad. VVherc do you feel the worst? Russel: ln school I feel just terrible. Anna Rauls: You remind me of just so much brown sugar. Victor Prey: VVhy?,' Anna: Oh, you are so unrefinedf' Page thirty-seven I 1
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