Garfield Junior High School - Gleaner Yearbook (Berkeley, CA)

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JOKES That Howard Whisler has a good head on his shoulders. The only trouble is that it ' s a different one every night. Overheard at the Roseway: Waiter, is this coke or root-beer? What ' s it taste like? Nail polish. Well, it must be coke because our root-beer tastes like paint remover. Mr. Van Matre: What ' s the difference between eight and five? John Creighton: That ' s what I say—what ' s the difference? Dear teacher, wrote Mrs. Haines, you must not whack my little Thornton over the head with a ruler. He is a very delicate little boy. We never hit him at home except in self defense. Mrs. Brubaker: I hope I didn ' t see you cheat- ing, Jo Ann. Jo Ann Polly: I hope so, too. Mrs. Bagnall: Mike, where is the dot that ' s supposed to be over the ' i ' ? Mike Murphy: It ' s still in the pencil. Bob Klopton: Teacher, I ain ' t got no pencil. Shocked at the expression, the teacher ex- claimed: Oh, Bob, I have no pencil! Bob Klopton: So youse is in the same fix. George Parks was naughty at school so he had to write a 50-word composition. He wrote, I hod a little kitty and I lost him. I called ' Here kitty, kitty, kitty, kitty, kitty, kitty, kitty, kitty, kitty, ' etc., etc. Mrs. Choisser: If I cut a piece of paper in two, what would I have? S. Emerson: Halves. Mrs. Choisser: And if I cut it in four pieces? S. Emerson: Fourths. Mrs. Choisser: And if ! cut it into 8,000 pieces? S. Emerson: Duh confetti. Mrs. Curtice: Potty, I ' m ashamed of you. When I was no bigger than you I could reel off all the Presidents in order without hesitation. Potty Paine: Yeah, but there were only three or four of them then. Mr. Von Matre: David, why did you put a fire cracker in my desk? David Best: Because I couldn ' t find a time bomb. Miss Laurens: What ore manners. Bob? Bob DeJohn: Manners are the noises you don ' t moke when you ' re eating soup. Miss Collar at a restaurant: This coffee tastes like mud. Waitress: Well, it was ground just this morn- ing. Tom Caswell: How do you get your kid sister to dig so many fishing worms for you? Charles Linford: Oh, it ' s easy. Out of every ten she digs up I let her have three to eat. Dick Huish: I can tell you what the score of the baseball game is going to be before it starts. Bill Gonser: You can? What is it going to be? Dick Huish: Nothing to nothing. Miss Brubaker: How much ore six and four? Alan Scott: Oh, about eleven. Miss Brubaker: Wrong. Six and four are ten. Alan Scott: But I thought five and five are ten. Lois Nathan: I ' m taking French, Spanish, and Algebra. Dee Dee McCuistian: Huh. Soy ' hello ' in Alge- bra. Solly Roberts in the cafeteria: Hot dog. V aitress: With pleasure. Sally Roberts: No, with mustard. Marjorie Runser (finishing on audition): Well, Mrs. Young, how do you like my singing? Mrs. Young (sadly): I accompanied you on the white keys and on the black keys, but you sing in the cracks. Junior Delinquent (on the first 7 car after school): The nerve of that conductor. He looked at me as if I didn ' t pay my fore. Friend: What did you do? J. D.: I looked at him as if I did. Grenade Wilson: What is worse than to find a worm when you bite into on apple? Bob Daily: Half a worm. Mrs. Rowell: What is the opposite of sorrow? Bill Browning: Joy. Mrs. Rowell: And the opposite of misery? Bill Browning: Happiness. Miss Rowell: And the opposite of woe? Bill Browning: Giddap. Ed Nelson (in a solemn campaign speech): All that 1 am or ever will be, I owe to my mother. Heckler (hired by Howard W.): Why don ' t you give her two bits and square the account? I had the toughest time of my life. First, I got angina pectoris, and then arteriosclerosis. Just as I was recovering from these, I got tuberculosis, double pneumonia and phthisis. Then they gave me hypodermic. Appendicitis was followed by tonsillectomy. These gave way to aphasia and hypertrophic cirrhosis. I completely lost my mem- ory for a while. 1 know I hod diabetes and acute indigestion, besides gastritis, rheumatism, lum- bago and neuritis. I ' ll never know how I pulled through. It was the hardest spelling test I ever hod.