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Page 15 text:
A PARODY ON " AMERIA THE BEAUTIFUL " Or, Ode to L. M. Oh, beautiful for shoulders broad, For smile of flashing hue. For lashes curling, long, and dark, ' Round eyes of grayish blue. Oh, beautiful for tuba played With skill of first degree. For personality that charms Some people, such as me. Oh, beautiful for tousled hair, A golden brownish shade. For sweaters with block G ' s and stripes, Through athletics made. Oh, beautiful for muscles hard, For form so strong and tall, My heart jumps each time that I Pass by you in the hall. Oh, beautiful with all these things, For high mentality. All this is true, but why do you Like them instead of me? Bob Sutherland: " What ' s that piece of string tied around your finger for? " Bozo W.: " That ' s a knot. Forget-me-not is a flower; with flour we make bread, and with bread we eat cheese. This is to remind me to buy pickled onions. " Anne Parrish: " Do you believe that clothes make the man? " Betty Murray: " Well, a good suit has made many a lawyer. " Mrs. Mead: " Arithmetic is an exact science. Figures can ' t lie. For instance, if one man can build a house in 12 days, 12 men can build it in one. " Jerry Wilson: " Then 288 men can build it in one hour, 17,280 in one minutes, or 1,036,800 in one second. " Miss Lowery: " Why does the cream rise to the top of the milk? " Joan Andersen: " So the people can get it. " ? He cuts his classes; in math gets D ' s. He flirts with every girl he sees. He falsely thinks he ' s directly descended From Adam Lazonga, with Romeo blended. He trips girls going down the stairs. He ' s true to you (as thus he swears. You think he looks you in the eye — He ' s really watching some blonde go by.) When you even spoke to a boy, he ' d fume. But he could chase every girl in the room. He ' s a rowdy in public and thinks that he ' s funny. His word is as useful as counterfeit money. Like calling cards, he distributes his pin. Those could, who have worn it, a union begin. He does as he pleases — the devil may care! (The devil, wits ended, is tearing his hair.) He ' s egotistical, unpredictable, Irresponsible, unrestrictable. Now who would fall for a guy like this! ! (Well, you can add me to the list.) Mr. Pederson had lectured on the various facts of communism, fascism and naziism. Then turn- ing to the bright pupil, he said: " Bill Farwell, what would you do with all these isms? " Bill Farwell: " I ' d make them all wasms! " Joe Wyman: " V hat ' s become of the hiker ' s club? " Don Schuler: " Oh, it disbanded. It was getting too hard to persuade passing motorists to pick us up and give us a lift. " Miss Stone: " What is gravity? " Bob Anderson: " Well, it was first discovered by Isaac Newton. It ' s chiefly noticeable in the autumn when the apples are falling from the tree. " Mrs. Bagnall (looking over Phil Mower ' s home work): " I don ' t see how it ' s possible for a single person to make so many mistakes. " Phil (proudly): " It isn ' t any single person, teacher. Father helped me. " BABY PICTURES— See Page 5
Page 14 text:
Name Answers to Mirror Not ed for Needs Most Fate MacDonald, Lloyd Mac Tan President Nancy Tubist Mainwaring, Doris Doris Cute Voice Don ' t know Society Mansfield, James Jim Glasses Funny Charlotte M Screwball Martin, Joy Martin Devilish Those eyes Another May 17 Housewife May, Kenneth Kenny Shy Thisbe Outwardness Husband Mayer, Charles Charlie Scientist Bad grades Good grades Scientist McBride, Ross Ross Gloss Floss Get a hoss!! Boss McCallum, Ellen Ellen Face Story OH! BOY! ! McCellan, Betty Betty Dark Good reader A man Society woman McCord, Charlotte McCord Intelligent Bright cracks Jim M Good wife McGiffert, David Dave Good Boys ' Ass ' n P A girl Athlete McKimmins, Mark Mark Short Temper Another Mayl7 Dentist McLaughlin, William Bill " Toughy Toughness Tweezy 1 ! ! I McNab, Jean Jean Blonde Blonde hair Peter Wife of a meat seller McNab, Peter Pete Plump Fooling Jean Meat seller Meadows, Jean Jean Plump Writing R. M Writer Meers, Jeanne Lou Jeanie Cute voice Songs Swing music Bonnie Baker Merkle, Mary Lou Merkle Curly hair Baseball Gee whiz! Athlete Meyer, Helen Helen Prettiness Singing voice Nothing Firefly Millar, George George -Himself Snobbery Dave Imry Commuter Miller, Barbara Miller Smiles Art Art C Designer Miller, Lawrence Larry Red Alto New script Actor Miller, Marinell Marinell Surprise! Voice Bob C Miller Mitchell, Marjorie Margy Fun Likeableness A frown Whoops!! Mohr, Donald Don Quiet Quietness Firecracker ???? Moriarity, Gloria Gloria Wow!!! Ice-skating Can ' t say Prodigy Mower, Philip Phil Height Drums Mr. Minzyk Gene Kiupa Muratore, Lois Lois Sweetness Being Lois Push ' em Lois M. Muryhy, Eugene Eugene ? ? ? Mystery man Murray, Betty Murray Dimples Hair-cuts Lamborn Lady of leisure Nelson, Robert Bob A gentleman Manners To shout Quince Nelson, Bruce Bruce Good naturedness Latin Miss Martin Nice guy Nelson, Dorothy Dorothy Friendly Friendliness A boy Secretary Nelson, Marion Marion Darling Bianca Loud voice Skiing Nielson, Wallace Wally Dick Fooling arou nd Good grades Loafer Ninekirk, Cameron Cammie Girl-shy Hortensio Anne Hubby Null, Pat Pat Glasses Clothes Hair cut Actress Olssen, Bertha Lips !!!!.: ?? A guy Bachelorette Olysleger, Ans Ans Dutchie American English American Orbiz, Clara Clara Black hair Black hair Blonde hair Black hair Palmgren, Carolyn Palmgren " B " Clothes Another May 16 Zorina II Paquette, Helen Helen Buttercup Nails Nail cutter Singer Parker, Helen Helen Braids Sports Hair cut Playground director Parrish, Anne Parrish A riot Soc. sec Camie New York Patche, Clinton Clinton Short Girl friends Pat R Playboy Patterson, Edward Ed Hair Acting Jo- Anne Turner Butter Pennell, Don Don Miss Brush P. A Margaret H Dancing teacher Penrose, Margaret Penny Glasses Anything Anyone Bruce B. Petersmeyer, Joy Pale-face Freckles Smart brothers A fella Model Peterson, Roy Roy - O boy! Glub! Patience Grade " A " Peyovich, Tom Tom Tan Paler Tan Lifeguard Porter, William Bill Short Swell pres.H. S Pat Ball President Queener, Eugene Joe Small Can ' t say Nancy Clapham Uh!! Reynolds, John John Good-looking Eyes --A swell girl Working man Rickli, Norman Norman Black hair Drawing Bad grade Architect Rinke, Marian Marian Dinky? Talking Dinkeyness Wife Robertson, James jpie Face Blondie Sport clothes Another May 16 Good guy Robinson, Frank Frank Hair Wood shop ' Traps . .. Wood Rogers, Patsy Pat Cute Talking back Chnton P Swell gal Rogers, Ward Rogers Sun-burn? Censored Alice Lyle Lifeguard Ryan, Patty Patty Fun Jumping around Soother Giddy Sanford, David Davie Sister Sister Sister Bachelor Sanford, Margaret Maggy Brother Brother Brother Bachelorette Sauer, Betty Sauer Toughy Athletics Good grades With circus Schueler, Dorner Don Tow head Athletics Carol Bliss Gym teacher Schurman, Charles Beeze Bands Crashing dances Vesta Adams Singer Schofield, Barbara Barbara Cute Hair Cute guy Housewife Senimon, Junior Junior Eyes Good lookin ' Midge Secret romance Severn, Audrey L ' il Audrey Big eyes Dancing Anne Love affairs Sheats , George Touchstone Clown Algebra Circus Hubby Shields, Robert Bob Quiet Clarinet Voice In an orchestra Sylva, William Bill Dark Drawings A Camel Betty Smith, Hazel Hazel Small Sewing Length A seamstress Smith, Margaret Maggie Hair Accordion Accordion Accordionist Smits, Henry Hank Smile Trombone A picture Coffee-taster Soweh, Wilham Bill Pill Car Bath Truck driver Stanislawski, Joseph Joe Shorty Stare ■- Megaphibe Yell leader Starner, George George Mucles Baldy , Hair Prize fighter Stevens, Lyle Lyle Bad boy Throwing hammers Goodness Clergyman Stevens, Bob Bob Tall Height Florence D Gambler Stirton, Helen Helen Glasses Drawing Som e fun Ice skater Stone, Leslie Leslie Leslie Leslie Leslie Leslie Story, Jack Story Darkness Voice Pat? Singer Stout, Claire Claire Cutie Clothes A man Model Strieker, Jacqueline Jacliie Suits Roos Bros, suit Hinks ' suit Suiter Terry, Earnest Terry Funny guy Humor Gerry Wilson Gigalo Thomas, Doris Doris Cute hair Gleaner A man Editor ■Pom, Eddie Eddie Black hair Running. A gal Track man Tom, Gee... Gee Gee Gee -Smartness A gal Track man Turner, Joanne Joanne Tall Voice Ed Patterson Shopper Ulmer, Dorothy Dorthy It ' s broken Accordion Another Doris Nurse Underwood, Pat Pat Eyelashes Singing lessons John Cummings Opera star Van Brunt, Ted Ted Baby face .Stories Nancy Doctor Von Steitz, Gerarda Gerarda Mirror full Ahem! Silence Scientist , Wagner, James Jimmy A boy Vesta A pin? Tysander Watson, Beverly Beverly Pug nose Typing Comb Typist Wharton, Betty Jan Flirt White lies Haberdasher Haberdasher Whitelaw, Joe Joe Good-looking Eyelashes Carl Zemm Actor Wilkerson, Ella Mae. Ella Mae Umn Stories ha ha L ' il Abner (Cinder)ella Wilson, Geraldine Gerry Bob Perfecto! Singer Berkeley Hi!! Ginny Simms Winslow, Alan Wins Good competition Saxophone Marg. Fay Bootblack Wise, Shirley Shirley Short Her brother Langille Fiddle player Wiser, Ray Ray Sun ray Hey! Pay Gay Ray Wyman, Joe Joe Freckles Tennis To win The winnah Windersheim, Johnh Wendy Bands Accent A German frau Citizen Zander, Valerie Valerie Rich Gum supply To chew Society Zehm, Karl Karl Babista Being tardy Mrs. Archer Comedian Zerangue, Jane Jane Braidminus Puck Rolling pin Ballet dancer Eastman, Elizabeth Dizzy Lipstick Hair-combing Someone Old maid
Page 16 text:
1. B. J. T. P.— NOT S. S. Troopers 2. Bell ' ll Ring 3. My Kingdom for a Horse 4. Model Club 5. Off that Bench 6. Hey Mac! 7. Swing and Sway 8. Stag Party 9. Short Bunt 10. Stand Still 11. Put Put 12. Assemblies— HUMMMM 13. Whistler 14. " As You Like It " We Did THE WORM I He crawls, he steps, he skims along the grass Plucking out his watch he frowns, He ' s late for Easter Mass. He frowns, he pouts, he makes an awfu l face. He ' ll have to hurry madly And muss his shirt of lace!
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