Garfield Junior High School - Gleaner Yearbook (Berkeley, CA)

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GARFIELD GLEANER 31 PSALMS OF CHILDHOOD Lives of great men all remind us, We can make our lives sublime; And, by asking foolish questions, Take up recitation time. Little Johnny was taking his first train ride. Suddenly they came to a tunnel, and upon coming out, he exclaimed, Oh! mother, what a short night. Margaret Palmer: When I go to heaven I am going to ask Shakespeare if he wrote those plays. George Dickie: But he isn ' t there. Margaret: Then you ask him. Teacher: What supports the sun in the heavens ? Edgar: Why the beams, of course. — Ex. Teacher: Describe a sea horse. Bright Pupil: It ' s the present tense saw horse. — Ex. Bob Horner (in H-9 English) : Mercury was goin ' fast. Mrs. Gray: Say it again with the g. Bob Horner: G, Mercury was goin ' fast. Elson Jones: Well, Gregg, what did you do last summer ? Gregg Chandler: Had a job in my father ' s office. Elson Jones: I wasn ' t working either. HELPFUL ROBERT When a lull in the conversation of Mrs. Horner ' s afternoon callers occurred, one lady asked Mrs. Horner ' s small(?) son Robert if he ever helped his mother. Oh, yes, he replied, I always count the spoons after she has company. — Ex. Teacher: John how many times did you talk today? John: Onct. Teacher: What is wrong with that an- swer? Dick: He should have said twict. — Ex. Small boy (entering a grocery store): I want a small loaf of bread. Clerk: Do you want white or graham? Small Boy: It doesn ' t matter, it ' s for a blind lady. — Ex. Mrs. Gray: And so, after a hard fight, Gurth wins. Allen (waking from a dream, as usual): Yes, yes, how much? A Sunday School teacher asked a boy, whose father was a minsiter: What is the first thing your father says when he sits down to the dinner table? The Boy: Go easy on the butter, boys; 69c a pound. — Ex. Why, Johnny, are you going out to play with those holes in your stockings? No, mother, I am going out to play with the boys. Willie fell down the elevator. There they found him eight days later. Everybody said Gee Whiz, What a spoiled boy Willie is. Question: What kind of a robbery is it that is not dangerous? Answer: A safe robbery. Once Joe Scotchler went out into the barn early in the morning. It was a very cold morning, and Joe had no light to see with. He had been told to harness the mule but in the darkness he grabbed the cow. He tried to get the harness on, but couldn ' t, because it wouldn ' t go over the horns of the cow. The farmer, getting angry at the delay, wanted to know what was the matter. Joe said, I can ' t get the harness on, the mule ' s ears are frozen. — Ex. I was very much shocked to hear of Bob ' s death in his airplane. How did it happen? Poor fellow, he was so used to automo- biles when he was ten thousand feet up his engine stalled and he got out to crank it. —Ex. WHEN DAD SHAVES Ma, does papa shave because he has to, or is it just to give him a chance to swear? Annie, called her mistress, just come into the dining room a moment. Now look at this, watch me. I can write my name in the dust on the table. Annie grinned. It ' s a grand thing, she said, to have an eddication. Miss Fraser: What was the great work of Charlemagne? Louis Cross: He converted all of Europe into a single Christian. A DITTY Oh! Chemist of skill Tell me if you will, I think I know where Carbonate, But where did Iodine?

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30 GARFIELD GLEANER THE L-7-P CLASS On August 13, 1923, 38 pupils came from nine nearby grammar schools and formed the Low 7-P class. Mr. Hennessy told us that P stands for Perfect Work and we are trying to make that our motto. Thir- teen pupils have been on the honor roll both periods. We like having different teachers for each subject. In history we have current events once a week. In science, we perform experiments and sometimes, on Fridays, we have moving pictures. In cooking, the girls gave a luncheon to a group of girls. We all enjoy the cafeteria, where we can get good hot lunches for five cents a dish. During the first period we had the Pen- tathlon. In the second period the girls practiced the half-lever and soccer and the boys practiced passball and soccer. In the Sirkus we sold hot dogs in the afternoon. We enjoyed selling them very muchc. We made about thirty dollars. Our class is happy at Garfield school, and we hope to keep improving in our work. MISS LOWREY ' S ADVISORY L-7 The L-7 English class under supervision of Miss Lowrey has formed a club called the A. B. C. club, which means Always Be Careful Club. The idea of this club is to help us remem- ber to watch our English and make every week Better English Week. Whenever anyone makes a bad mistake in English some one says A. B. C. and the of- fender is out of standing. He can get back in standing if he catches someone else in a bad mistake and says A. B. C. The club is a great deal of fun, at the same time helpful. The pupils of our class think there are other classes in the school that would en- joy organizing an A. B. C. club. Dorothy Martin, L-7.

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32 GARFIELD GLEANER John S: How can I keep my feet from going to sleep? Joe S: Don ' t let them turn in. Captain (to passenger): Your lunch is coming up soon. Seasick Passenger: So is my breakfast. Mr. Zimmerman (rushing wildly in): Who on earth put that vase of flowers on my desk? Billy Jensen: Mr. Hennessey put them there. Mr. Zimmerman: Pretty, aren ' t they? David stole a penny, And to the jail was sent, But the judge did not convict him, So he was in a cent. Farmer — What ' s that old hen eating those tacks for? Smarty — She ' s probably going to lay a carpet. Man in swimming — Are you quite sure there are no crocodiles in these waters? Negro on shore — Yes, sir; de sharks done scared dem all away. Why can ' t you hear a pillow when it falls ? falls down ? Answer: Because it ' s down. A foreigner went back to his native land from America. His friend met him when he arrived. Friend — Well Poldo, how do you like America ? Poldo — It ' s all right, but one thing is the matter, they are short of bananas and they ' re all singing about it. AN ENIGMA My first is in wager but not in bet My second in cat but not in pet My third is in run but not in walk. My fourth is in knife and also in fork. My fifth is in field but not in game. My sixth is in leg and also in lame. My seventh in love but not in hate. My eighth in destiny but not in fate. Now you will guess, if you are not fools That my whole is the best and finest of schools. Clara K. — Say, Nelly, I can lie in bed and see the sun rise. Nellie R. — That ' s nothing, I can sit in my dining room and see the kitchen sink. Found: In a street car, a bone-headed man ' s umbrella. — Ex. Child — Mother, do stories always begin with, once upon a time? Mother — No, indeed. Some of them be- gin with, I have to go to the lodge. A Jew with his wife and little baby at- tended a show. The baby cried so the usher told them that if it cried again they would have to go to the ticket office and get their money back and go out. To- wards the end of the show the Jew said to his wife, How do you like the show? Wife: Not very well. Jew: Stick a pin in the baby. In a small town the stores were putting up signs, Open All Night. A little Chin- ese store wanted to keep up with the others, so he put up a sign, Mee Wakee Too. She came up to the country, About a week or so ago. This city maid who ne ' er had seen The field where wild flowers grow. And when she saw the cat-tails She cried, Oh, do look quick, Who ever heard of weenies growing on a • stick. Miss Abbay — Does any one know a boy in the school with a broken leg named Arthur? Teacher — Johnnie, what is a hypocrite ? Johnnie — A hypocrite is a boy who smiles when he reaches school. MODERNIZING OLYMPUS One day Jupiter said to Mars, Let ' s take a ride in my Ford car. Come, let ' s call on Venus, the lady. And then visit Pluto in Hades. Bang! and then the car stopped dead. Mars thought the Fates had cut his thread. Along came Hercules, the strongest man, And asked them, Could I lend a hand? He towed them to Vulcan, the blacksmith. Who had but one tool to fix a Ford with. Then they both walked back to the lodge, For the car was laid up in the garage. Johnnie (to his friends): You know, fellers, we ought to stop spending our money for candy. Small Boy: All right. Let ' s buy gum then. An American gave to his English cousin a Webster ' s Dictionary. The English- man thanked him and the American left. The next time the Yankee was in Eng- land he asked his cousin how he liked the dictionary. The Englishman said, It was a jolly good story but a wee bit discon- nected. Husband — How did that beggar per- suade you to give him that money? Wife — 0, he told such a pitiful story about his wife, who ' s a widow, and his six orphan children.