Garfield Junior High School - Gleaner Yearbook (Berkeley, CA)

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26 GARFIELD GLEANER SOME QUEER HIGH NINTHS 1. The Class Archer: Julia Beauman (Bowman) . 2. The Class Animals: Elsie Bull, Earl Cowden. 3. The Class Applause: Arthur Clapp. 4. The Class Church Seat: Raymond De- pew. 5. The Class River: William Hudson. 6. The Class Chicken: John Hendry. 7. The Class Bird: Mary JIartin. 8. The Class Factory: Everett Mills. 9. The Class Cloth: Dorothy Felter. 10. The Class Country: Robert Nation. 11. The Class Pilgrim: Evelyn Palmer. 12. The Class Soil: Lawrence Sands. 13. The Class Note: Malcolm Sharpe. 14. The Class Minister: Elizabeth Priest- ley. 15. The Class Conveyance: John Tray- lor. 16. The Class Battery: Willard Reteile. 17. The Class Question: Gladys Watt (what) . 18. The Class Arrow: Ross Dartt. 19. The Class Direction: Frances West. 20. The Class Bear: Edna Bruno. 21. The Class Language: Franklin Eng- lish. 22. The Class Water Supply: Martha Wells. 23. The Class Candy: Carmel Tobin. 24. The Class President: Ernul Harding. 25. The Class Waiter: Kathryn Porter. 26. The Class Lawyer: Eleanor Squires. 27. The Class Goose: Walter Gander. 28. The Class Meat: Cortlandt Bacon. 29. The Class Box: Esther Case. 30. The Class Color: Ray Browne. 31. The Class Gem: Jewel Ellis. 32. The Class State: Montana Cunning- ham. 33. The Class Lumber: Hazel Wood. — Elizabeth Martin H9. Mr. Kilburn: I would like to try on that suit in the window. Clerk: Sorry, sir, but you will have to go into the dressing room. — Jack Wilson. DOING TWO -BITS ' ’ ‘‘You seem pretty proud since you gave twenty-five cents to the Red Cross fund.” “Yessuh,” replied Mr. Pinkly, “talk about doing your bit, I just done my two bits.” Quite matchless are her dark brown iiii’s, She talks with utmost eeee’s, And when I tel her she is yyyy’s She says I am a tttt’s, And when her pencil I would uuuu’s, Her little hand I cccc’s, Quick from her cheek the blushes oo oo oo oo’s, Her anger I apppp’s. WANTED — A nice boy to do errands, also to milk and wash the motor. Ray D. (in drawing): Somebody took my paper. Miss Macgregor: Don’t flatter yourself; nobody would take your paper. Miss Grover: School will dismiss at 2:45 today. Robt. Combatalade: Will the periods be shortened ? Sumner: No, they will be lengthened.

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GARFIELD GLEANER 25 There was a young - boy named Wall, Who said he would talk in the hall, But the teachers cried “Stop,” Which made the boy hop, And he vowed he’d NOT talk at all. • — Virginia Moles, H7. A lady’s husband died and she called on her brother-in-law to take care of the sad event but she said, “Remember, do not say anything about beer,” because they owned a large brewery and they didn’t want their friends to know about it. When the funeral services were going on the brother-in-law rose up at a critical moment and said: “We will now pass around the bier.” “If I lend you ten dollars, what security can you give me?” “The word of an honest man.” “All right, bring him along, and I’ll see what I can do for you.” AS SHAKESPEARE SEES OUR REPORTS 1 = A Midsummer Night’s Dream. 1 — = As You Like it. 2+ = All’s Well that Ends Well. 2 = Measure for Measure. 2 — = Lover’s Complaint. 3 — Comedy of Errors. 3 — = Much Ado about Nothing. 4+ = The Tempest. 4 = Love’s Labor Lost. Nature cannot jump from winter to sum- mer without a spring, or from summer to winter without a fall. Miss Gay: Willie, what is a noun? Willie: A noun is the name of a person, place, or thing. Miss Gay: That was correct; now name three strong nouns. Willie: Onions, garlic, and Limburger cheese. Mrs. Brennan: Reva, baste your shoulders together and lay your back flat on the goods. Puzzles: find the owners of these familiar remarks. “Young man, go straight down there again and walk up.” “Was it a long or a short one? Is this it? Then I’m afraid it hasn’t been turned in yet.” “Talking? Write 100 times each: miscel- laneous, somnambulistic, etc.” “Formulas, please, not rules.” (Pupil starts giving rules.) A little louder: “For- mulas, please, not rules!” (Pupil continues.) Still louder: “Formulas, please, not rules!” (Pupil stares vacantly, and sits down.) “Don’t say ‘here’ when I call the roll; say ‘ici.’ ” “Why, the little B7’s know that!” Miss Gay (teaching pupils how to open a new book) : Careful there. I hear someone’s back breaking. Mrs. Gray (to class studying meter) : Ray Depew, will you please sing those lines ? Ray Depew: I don’t think I can, Mrs. Gray. I’ve never taken vocal lessons. One word + one teacher + one eagle eye — 300 words. Beginner to Miss Arendt: Which is the tubercular key on this typewriter? Did he mean the “tabular” key? Miss Martin: Explain your example. Pupil: Find the hippopotamus of a right angle triangle whose legs are 6 and 7. Uncle Treetop (standing on weighing machine and dropping coin in the slot) : Well, Am gumed if anybody could a made me believe a nickel would a weighed as much as that! Mrs. Gray: Marion Miner have you read Freckles ? Marion Miner: No, mine are brown. Richard: I heard Miss Bonney strained her voice. William: Yes, she sang through a screen door.

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