Garfield County High School - Remuda Yearbook (Jordan, MT)

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THE MYSTERY OF THE MISSING PROFESSOR I must write this down immediately for my file. I never want to forget our 1990 class reunion. We were all at the trees where the re- union committee, Shelley Fogle, David Saylor, Debbie Spillum, and John Robert- son had planned a nice get-together pic- nic for us. I was standing there holding a most intelligent conversation with Barb Har- baugh, current President of the United States, and her bodyguard Rick Miller, when LeAnn Buffington came up to me screaming, My husband, my husband, he’s disappeared! He was just here minutes ago. Quickly assessing the situation with skilled perception, I saw that Kent Hunter, an English professor who loves Shakespeare, was indeed missing. I just know that Ross Lehner, old shifty eyes, did him in. He hates him, he always has! Don't you know that lie's a professional spy for Lynn Gibbs, Speaker of the House? Or maybe it was that Lynn Clauson, who's always been in cahoots with Ross and she’s learned several bad habits as a result of being the wife of the Ayatollah Khomeini’s son! Immediately Ralph McWilliams, famous criminal lawyer, stepped in. This would be another great case for him to take on. Mrs. Hunter, I am prepared to help you in any way I can. Ralph was still up to his same old Casanova tricks. At about this time Bob Ballensky and Doug Beckett hopped into their cars to leave the scene of the crime. Ruth Saylor, Chief of Police, jumped on her 1000 Kawasaki motorcycle and blocked their way saying, No one, and I mean no one can leave the scene of the crime. Bob said, I can't get involved, thi: would min my career as a conductor for Berlin's symphony orchestra. Doug also added, I can’t stand tte way civilization is run, I'm going back into seclusion in the mountains of Ba - varia. But Ruth brought them back to the fire anyway. Since I was the only one trained to be a professional detective, I thought I should begin the interrogation. I'd only asked what time they had arrived and received the reply, 10 p. m. when Car- men Saylor marched up and said, Since I am a famous psychiatrist, I should be in on this. Elsie Cowin also interrupted my train of thought to say. Since I have just come from Jupiter and have seen how it was done, I think I should do the interrogating. It really didn't matter which one of us did the questioning because Lynn and Ross wouldn't answer any more questions until they had talked to their lawyers Keith Fogle, Golden Glove boxer, known for his hands as being lethal weapons said, I'll make 'em talk. Ralph also volunteered to act as their lawyer, and promptly told them to keep their mouthes shut. Things seemed to be at a standstill when fast-talking Brenda Flint, used car salesperson, said, I saw the accused buy a used hearse at two this afternoon. Shelley Fogle, barmaid, came up with information that David Saylor, M M factory mechanic, came into the bar dis- turbed because Kent hadn’t paid for the five cases of M Ms he’s bought. Shelley also added,'1 saw David shortly after lie came to the picnic put- ting tools away that were covered with something red. David quickly went to Ralph and said, Represent me too. Ruth Los inski asked, Are you sure he got here, because I saw Kent at my truck stop in Rock Springs eating M Ms by the handfuls? Elsie quickly said, Of course he was here, I distinctly noticed that he was eating M Ms and he offered me a green one, but I refused because of the after- effects. Meanwhile Mike Trumbo, trapper in the Yukon, had noticed Ross' unusual shoe tread and began making widening circles around the site. Night was falling, but Chief Saylor insisted that none of us leave the scene. But Debbie Spillum, recent heiress to billions of dollars, wanted to leave so her hair wouldn't get windblown. And her butler, John Robertson, wanted to make sure the house was in order. But once again Ruth exerted hei authority and absolutely refused to let them leave. So we decided to settle down for a long, boring night. But it was much better than expected because Sam Kampf supplied us with various native Jamaican dances, enchanting by the firelight. After that, Michael Guesanburu, goat herder in the Swiss Alps, began yodling, so we all gave up on sleep and enjoyed his melodious voice. At daybreak the next morning, I saw Bill Drew practicing his trapeze act for the Ringling Brothers’ Circus by walking from limb to limb. All at once he yelled and dropped to the ground and then dis- appeared We all ran to the spot where he had disappeared and he was in a hole shaking the missing Kent. Kent kept mumbling, They melt in your mouth, but not in your hand Jerri Coldwell, famous brain surgeon, who had recently been studying various overdoses, jumped into the hole, and after a quick examination, she exclaimed, Rare case of M M overdose! If we hurry, we may be able to save him! As soon as Kent was on his way to the hospital, everyone started leaviqg. happy to end the mystery. Everyone, that is, except Ralph, who would not be able to collect any fees. Cotton Secrest. reporter for the Jor- dan Times, was busy interviewing Presi- dent Harbaugh, who was taking all the credit for solving the mystery, in hopes that a good rating now would carry her for two years to the 1992 ftesidential pri- maries and a possible second term as Pres- ident How was it that you told Bill to do his trapeze act to try to find Kent? asked Cotton. Well now, let me see. Oh yes, I just figured that maybe Bill would see a trail of green and yellow M Ms that would lead to--Oh, my mind cannot even con- ceive what horrors green and yellow M Ms might lead to. Thank Heavens he stum- bled into that hole. As for the suspects’ motives in doing what they did, it turns out that Lynn had wrecked one of her husband's limousines and Ross was going to rebuild it using parts from the hearse. He is still taking care of her. Bob really thought that his career would be ruined because he was fooling around with most of the women in the orchestra. Doug had a tumor that he thought would end his life and he did not want it to hap- pen at the reunion. Jerri operated on him and he is now happily starting a family. David's stained wrenches came from fixing a minor breakdown in the color distributor where red coating was dis- tributed. Debbie was actually afraid of sleeping in the dark without her husband, so John thought up the excuse. Now we come to the major point: Why was Kent eating so many M Ms? Actually he was eating only green and yellow ones because he was afraid that he was failing LeAnn in some way. And all of you thought that I wasn’t a real detective!!! Now all I'm left to wonder is: Will my records show something a s exciting in the year 2000? THAT'S ALL FOLKS 21

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A TIME FOR GIVING I, BOB BALLENSKY, will my ability to throw left-handed passes in basketball to Brian MacDonald, and my charm, my basketball talent, and my good looks to the two people who need them the most--Kit Wille and Chad FitzGerald. I. DOUG BECKETT, will my long hair to Fred Mumion. I, LEANN BUFFINGTON, will my ability to have a good time in high school to anyone who wants it. I. LYNN CLAUSON, will leave all my bad times behind when I leave school and let the good times roll. I. JERRI COLDWELL, will all the good times I have had at GCHS to my brother Jason, so his bad times won’t seem so bad. and my driving ability to Lavonne because she needs mine too. I. ELSIE COWIN, will my intelligence, good looks, and charm to Dan Fellman. I, BILL DREW, will my ability to get through high school without studying for tests or taking any books home to the Freshman class. I. BRENDA FLINT, will my ability to stay out of trouble to Kathi Morford, because she needs it. I. KEITH FOGLE, will not because I have not. I, SHELLEY FOGIE, will my ability to drive straight on icy roads to my brother Ray. since he has a hard time. I. LYNN GIBBS, will my editor's job to Kit Wille and Chad FitzGerald so they can give themselves the publicity they think they deserve. I, MICHAEL GUESANBURU, will my ability to catch passes to Brian MacDonald. I, BARB HARBAUGH, will always remember the scars and marks left by GCHS and S. K.FitzGerald, not necessarily in that order. I, KENT HUNTER, will my ability to buy and sell cars to anyone who thinks they can handle it, and my '49 Chevy to Bill Drew because it’s probably the only car lie'll own. I, SAM KAMFF, will my long hair to all the cowboys. I, ROSS LEHNER, will my ability to maintain during school hours to anyone that can't. I, RUTH LOSINSKI, will my quiet and shy ways to Fred Mumion and Mike Bibeau. I. KELLY MACDONALD, will Kelly Pierson my name, my many colors of hair to anyone who can handle it the way I did, my weak knees to my baby brother because Brian already has two, my ability to get good grades and still have fun to Vesper Reynolds, and my giggle to Juanita Gould because she doesn't have one that can be distinguished several miles away. I, RALPH MCWILLIAMS, will ferry Mumion the ability to play defensive end with a large weight disadvantage. I, RICK MILLER, will the ability to keep cars on all four wheels to my little sister. I, JOHN ROBERTSON, will my ability to run over people to Shawn FitzGerald and Shane Hansard, since they're going to need it next year in football. I, CARMEN SAYLOR, will my ability to unscrew light bulbs at S. parties to anyone who likes to be in the dark. I, DAVID SAYLOR, will Booper Pluhar my Ford pickup to pull his Chevy to the junkyard, so he can drive a good outfit. I, RUTH SAYLOR, will my ability to get out of study hall everyday to my little sis, Laura Olson, and my hair curlers to Marilyn Nelson. I. COTTON SECREST, will my pickup to Kirk Beckett, so he won’t have to tag along with Doug and Wanda. I, DEBBIE SP1LLUM, will my hard work taking my Junior and Senior years together to anyone who wants to work hard. I, MIKE TRUMBO, will Bill Drew my ability to drive Fords 20

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• • • THERE WAS A TIME WHEN FIRST GRADE CLASS IN 168- BACK ROW: Duane Engdahl, Roy Hughes, Barb Harbaugh, Elsie Cowin, LeAnn Buffington, Jack Burgess. MIDDI£ ROW: Mrs. Alta Wille, Kelly MacDonald, Charlene Saylor, Cathy Mumion, Shelley Hageman, Sherry Carter, Shelley Nesbitt. FRONT ROW: Robby Tenney, Kent Hunter, Michael Guesanburu, Eddie Lee, and Keith Fogle. CLASS HISTORY The first grade class of 1968 consisted of seventeen cute and lovable kids. However, after various things happening, there are only eleven who have managed to make all twelve years together. Mrs. Alta Wille was there as our first grade teacher, and somehow managed to get rid of all of us, sooner or later. Mrs. Margaret Viall received us as we ventured into second grade and furthered our somewhat limited educa- tion. By the time third grade and Mrs. Jane Wille rolled around, we were convinced that we had learned it all, but of course we hadn’t as we soon found out. Fourth grade brought Mrs. Lura Turner and one half hour more school. We were classed as Older kids now. Fifth grade presented us with Mrs. Holly Biastoch, and for the boys, basketball. The girls were also intro- duced to the sport when we began our physical education class. Miss Linnea Strandburg saw to it that we knew more when we left sixth grade than when we had come. It was a hard-won battle. Feeling that no matter what we did, we would always be ahead, we. started seventh grade with all the zest of an upper-classman. We soon knew that we were still just pupils after a year with Mr. Stephen Hopkins and Mr. ■Bill Biastoch. Our last year of grade school rolled around finally and Mr. Glenn Ha geman was there to oversee all our little activities and convince us that our pranks weren't all that great. Somehow I don't think he managed to cure us completely, for this was the year that everyone had a session with the principal, Mr. Garnet, sooner or later. Ruth Losinski put a rubber snake in Glenn Hageman’s coffee cup and when he’d drunk enough to see the tail of the snake, he dumped the rest down the drain as fast as he could! Kelly MacDonald put live grasshoppers in Glenn’s desk and when he opened his drawer, the grass- hoppers that weren’t already squashed, jumped all over! A bunch of us put a freshly killed bird in Stephen Hopkin's desk and when he saw it, he immediately blamed the right people! One time in Montana History, Kent Hunter and Keith Fogle were the only ones who did an assignment, so the rest of us copied off Kent through Ross. The answer to one question was supposed to be, Settlers moved west, but because we couldn’t read Ross’ writing, we wrote Rattlers moved west. Need- less to say, we were caught. One day during Study Hall we tried to lock Carol Umland in the closet, but she retaliated by locking Roy Hughes in a cupboard that he was hiding in by putting drumsticks (that happened to be Roy's) in the handles of the cupboard doors! Ruth and Kelly shocked Glenn by wearing dresses every day for a